The doctors are correct in saying that it will get better with age. Teenagers in general are rebellious with or without CF. CF only exacerbates the problem as there is nothing more important in a teen's life than status and friends. Having CF and doing treatments can unfortunately at times interfere with these two things. I'm guessing that she has said more than once "I just want to be like my friends," or "I hate CF". Both of these are very common and very valid responses to having CF as a teenager. What she's going through is tough and is not at all fun.
What we must realize however that, "being like our friends",
includes having the ability to do what they do. Whether we like it or not, this
is made possible by our health. Not being at a good place with our health
inhibits our ability to just be "one of the guys" (or in this case
girls), but it's hard to see that as a teen.
We often think about treatments as a means to an end when we're sick.
I encourage people to think about treatments as a means to an end when we're
healthy. What I mean is this - we must be willing to do everything necessary
when we're healthy to put ourselves in the best position not to be sick.
Treatments need not be a response to sickness, but used in conjunction with
wellness.
I use the analogy of a scale. On one side we have someone
"sick" with CF and on one side we have someone "healthy"
with CF. Now, if you had a rock that represented doing treatments, which side
of the scale would you put the rock? Who do we as a community instinctively
think about as "doing more treatments" than the other person? I would
put forth that most of us would put the rock on the side of the scale with the
sick CFer. This certainly isn't true for everyone, but from my experience, that
would be my hunch. Now, each one of us must answer why we put the rock where we
did and that will generally tell us about our view of CF, control and
treatments.
As for me, I put the rock on the side of the healthy CFer. When I was
a teen? Not so much. I thought only "sick people" did a bunch of
treatments. Granted, I was doing two a day, but it was rarely willingly and not
something that I looked forward to. In many ways, I fell into the trap of being
"too healthy" with CF. See, in high school; my FEV1% was around 110.
I felt and acted just like everyone else. The only time I thought about CF was
during said treatment times and when I required a hospital stay due to an
exacerbation (about twice a year). Apart from those times, CF never entered my
mind. I felt some relief from my treatments, but I didn't feel THAT much.
What really made my lungs feel like a hundred bucks was football
practice, or any other physical activity like basketball, baseball, running
etc. That's another thing to point out - until I started playing sports year
round, my FEV1% was nowhere near that 110% that I mentioned earlier. So in
essence, I was doing a ton of treatments, 2-3 hours per day to be exact, just
not the traditional treatments (nebs, vest) that we think about. I was doing
additional treatments in the form of sports and exercise. To this day, nothing
makes me cough more or produce more mucus than running, be it on the treadmill,
street or football field.
My family supported me in many ways regarding treatments and CF care.
I think a lot of the credit has to go to my mom for being quite possibly the
biggest reason that I took such good care of myself growing up. She had quite a
“unique” strategy – My house, my rules (I’m of course kidding when I say that
it was unique). One thing I’ll say however is she delivered this strategy with
complete love. I never doubted for a second that I, and in turn my health, was
the single most important thing to my mom when I was growing up. I was an only
child for quite some time, so my mom was able to focus all of her energy and
time on making sure she did everything necessary to put me in the best position
to succeed. This included running me around to practice, supporting me when I
wanted to try a new sport and most of all, holding her line when it came to
treatments.
Here’s the deal though, she balanced that with great freedom. I had a
very normal childhood. I could do just about anything I wanted to do in terms
of sleepovers, extra curricular activities, etc AS LONG AS my treatments were
done. And when I stepped out of line, she didn’t waffle or give me another
chance; I faced consequences for not following the rules. She only had to keep
me out of football practice one time to show me she was serious after I chose
to rebel against treatments that particular morning.
All teens have something important to them. All parents find their
children, including teens believe it or not, important. In my opinion,
effective parents mesh what’s important to them with what’s important to their
teen. There is one key thing to remember though – one is the parent and one is
the teen. In a perfect scenario the parent and the teen can come to a mutual
agreement about treatments and expectations. But, and this is a big but,
perfect scenarios aren’t the majority. At some point, the parent must decide
what’s more important to them, a perfect scenario or their teen doing his or
her treatments.
There
is hardly a fool-proof strategy when it comes to convincing teens that
treatments are important or implementing a system that results in few missed
treatments, there is however a great reward for parents, and teens, that manage
to do so.
No comments:
Post a Comment