Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Enlightening Conversation About Vertex Results

I thought it would be good to share a conversation I had today with a momma in the community that wasn't exactly pleased with my thoughts/comments/commentary on the Vertex announcement yesterday. Many of you may feel the same way...
"I am upset at the comments you made yesterday and the one today."
What specifically upset you? (see paragraph towards the end of this post for her response to this question)
"I am surprised that you would post things that could upset parents and other CF'ERS that have new hope. I understand that you have strong feelings and emotions about this combo and they are rightfully yours to have."
Right. And I'll always be honest, even if that means a few feathers are ruffled or I have some push back. And if posting something accurate and truthful on FB takes away the hope of some, I am sorry. With that said, I also included parts in my statement that would support the hope felt like "There are also people who blew the doors off of old PFT results!!!!!" or "I'm not saying that this is not good news." or "And I've always been consistent in saying that we do not need to see positive numbers for it to be a success. Remaining steady would be a BIG WIN for the CF community."
"However, the post yesterday was used by others to continue to be hateful to many in the community."
I cannot control what others do, and I will never censor myself based upon the possibility of others using my words out of context. That would not be authentic and I certainly won't put on a false facade - with what I say or what I don't.
"It may not be what you intended but it came across as you being mad that you were not able to get them at a time when you were younger."
Honestly, I have no clue how that came across to you in what I said. Do you think I would volunteer 1000's of hours a year in the CF community, if I were mad or bitter in any way at the opportunities afforded to the younger generation? Does that sound like a guy who thinks "life isn't fair"? I thought that was pretty clear when I said, "My biggest goal, and frankly why I got so involved with the CF community, is to make the life experience of the next generation of CFers, and the generation after that, better than my own. I don't want to see the CF patients of the 90's, 00's and 10's experience the same struggles as I did, a patient of the 80's."
"I have always respected you and seen you as such a godly man. (I even spoke of how you were such to my mother yesterday when everyone else was posting hateful comments)."
I'm certainly happy to hear that you think (or thought?) of me in that way. I do my best to show God's love through my approach and interaction with others, and unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I fail everyday. I can assure you if I served a God that wasn't gracious, I'd be screwed.
"To see your post after saying these things was disappointing. I hope that you see that your posts can be hurtful and truly upsetting to some."
Again, I am sorry if anyone was hurt by my commentary yesterday. This was in direct response to seeing statements like "I'll finally be able to breathe again" or "This may be my last hospital stay ever!!" or "We'll basically be cured." or "I can't wait to take those pills and for this to all be over!". We still have a long way to go. As it stands right now, the combo drugs will not support the statements above for the majority of people with CF. Less exacerbations? Probably. Less frequent hospital stays? Probably. Maintain lung function for longer? Probably. Cure? No. No hospital stays ever again? Probably not. No more treatments? Probably not.
"You have been given a wonderful platform to be such a strong witness for the Lord. I am always so thankful for your standing up for what is right and true."
I will continue to do so.
"Please know that this is not intended to be mean, just expressing how this has made one Christian woman feel."
Not a problem. I didn't think it was mean at all. It's hard to articulate feelings through an online medium such as FB. Expressing oneself, and having different feelings towards the same object/result/person is what personal expression is all about.
"I want this combo to give you decades more to work for the Lord and be with your family as much as I want it for my little girl."
Amen. I want the combo to work for your little girl with every fiber of my being. I would gladly give up any potential decades I have left to see that happen.
"On a side note, the lawsuit against Vertex being brought forward by the state of MA makes me question the validity considering their health care system. Just a thought."
The lawsuit is about people purchasing the stock based on "grossly overstated" results by said company and then losing 100's of thousands of dollars when that information was redacted...all the while executives of said company potentially made 100's of thousands of dollars by selling a portion of their shares before the results were corrected.
"I think the most upsetting part was saying I hate to be that guy type of comment. It kind of starts you off with a negative attitude. I did not see the comments from people that you mentioned. I do not think this is the end of treatments or anything for my daughter. But I do think it could keep her where she is until something better comes along which is more than I've had before. I know that most parents feel hope but know this is not a cure. For those of us who have a realistic view of the combo, the post was like someone coming into the first glimmer of hope we've had and screaming "just kidding!". Because we look up to you so much....I don't think you are bitter and that's why I even said something because it seemed out of character. I know you can't control what others do; however, if you had read what some were saying you might have held off on.that comment for a few days. It's ugly out there...and it just gets worse. It's hard for a parent of a child with CF that deals so much to see the negativity we've seen from this announcement. There are so many that have been so hateful about this not helping them that they don't want anyone else to have hope. It seems like such a miserable life for them and it's hard to understand. Your posts may not have upset me on another day but after dealing with all the negativity it was hard to see yours. I do not look at you differently now. I just wanted to let you know how it is from a mommy's view right now. There was such excitement for Kalydeco and we can't have the same joy that's all we want. I know you want that too. Thanks for responding! And I want address the other comments on the lost because I don't feel it's okay to stir the pot. But feel free to share this without my name." 
Totally understand where you are coming from [withheld]. I can see why this may have felt like I was piling on. It was never intended to be that way. I was trying to provide some history and context to a community that has felt let down many times in the past based on announcements like this only to discover it's not what they thought it would be. I'm sure I could have worded it better or, as you suggested, wait for the flames to die down a bit before throwing some gasoline on them.
On a side note: Did you know that I am currently on the drug and I think it helps? Maybe that would have been beneficial for me to say?
"I had no idea. I am thankful you are and are doing well on it! I hope it keeps you healthy and at home with your family more so than not! It would probably put out the fire if you said that ;)"
Haha, maybe I'll mention it then. I didn't see PFT improvement, but I think it gave me the ability to fight off infection quicker and I have remained stable for longer periods of time.