I've Sprung Another Leak!!

**Don't watch if the sight of blood makes you queasy**

Thankful Thursday - This one is pretty obvious

Know what time it is? It's thankful Thursday time! We checked into the Hole one week ago and it's time to celebrate a little thankful Thursday! We all have so much to be thankful for and we love to take this opportunity just to write down each and everything that comes to mind. as I mentioned last week, I no longer have the "linky tools" but I invite you to share your thankful blog in the comments section. Without further ado, here's what we're thankful for:

Mandi's List:

I'm SO thankful that my God is one that is faithful and answers prayers. We have been praying that He would guide us through our IVF process, and man did He come through big time. A smooth diagnostic period, Ronnie having swimmers, and good little swimmers to boot, just the right number of embryos, and pregnant the first cycle. I am so thankful that this process isn't in my control (holy smokes, did you just hear this type A actually say that?!) and that I have a God who is so good, who's guiding this! I am so thankful to be blessed with this baby/these babies!!

I'm thankful for butt rubs. Any lady that has ever done progesterone shots (or anyone who has had oil-based shots before) knows what I'm talking about. Those suckers start to leave a lasting impressions after a few weeks worth. My butt has bit lumps and bumps of oil trapped (and some gnarly bruises) and it feels like heaven to have my loving hubby rub my sore spots to get some of the oil broken down and out of there.

I'm thankful for coffee. Gasp. "You're drinking coffee?!" you're thinking. No. I am not. And that is why I'm thankful for it. I miss it like mad right about now. As many of you know, weekend mornings while Ronnie is in the hospital are Dunkin Donuts mornings. And the smell of coffee in the morning makes my heart happy. Unfortunately I can't partake, but you better believe I'm going to pound the coffee in approximately 9 months. I am so thankful for this tasty drink. Have an extra cup for me this morning!!

I'm thankful for hospital stays. The hospital is always a nice time for Ronnie and I to relax together and hang out with his family. Sure we still work, and we can get a little cabin fever, but I always enjoy the quality time that hospital stays bring. I'm thankful for hospital traditions and fun experiences. We always leave with many, many good memories and some funny stories. I'm thankful that we can enjoy each other, and life, anywhere.

Ronnie's List:

I guess my first one's a little obvious, but I'm really thankful that were pregnant! We're approaching this cautiously optimistic as we know nothing is for sure until were holding our baby (or babies) in our arms, but for now we're just in the celebrate this miracle. We heard all along that this would be quite the journey and I'm just so thankful that our road was pretty smooth. I don't think it could have gone any better and we're just praying that in nine months or so the Sharpe clan gets a bit bigger! We can't thank you enough for your thoughts and prayers, we literally felt every single one of them.

I'm so thankful for the research teams out there working their butt off to make the lives of my friends so much better. As I'm sure you've heard, the pharmaceutical company Vertex just announced very positive results from their phase 3 drug study of the compound VX770. This little blue pill did very well and we're all excited for the future. It is shown to increase lung function, decrease exacerbations, increase weight and a host of other positive things simply by opening up the chloride channel on our cells. Now, I must point out that this drug is for a specific mutation that effects about 4% of our population, but they're very optimistic that this is the start to something great for the entire community! I'm super excited for my friends with the G551D mutation and I can't wait until this drug is released in 2012. Let's keep our fingers crossed that the FDA gets on the ball and approves this thing.

I'm thankful that after a week in the Hole I've turned the corner and improving bit by bit everyday. You never quite know how things are going here, but I'm confident I have nowhere but up! I'm going to start testing my lungs pretty soon here by running laps from a hospital and sprinting up the staircase. I'm hoping not spring a leak aka hemoptysis aka my lungs bleeding, but I figure there's no better place to do it than in here. I'll be taking PFTs on Monday and I'm very hopeful that they'll be up from a week ago. I checked in here with an FEV1 of about 60% and I'm hoping that by the time I'm out it will be in the lower 70s. Maybe I'll even shoot for 75%! Sure wouldn't hurt to try.

Pregnancy Test

We wanted to give you a little update. The hospital has been going very well. Ronnie is starting to feel a little better......OK JUST KIDDING. I'm sure most of you are tuning in to hear the results of our beta pregnancy test. So should I just cut to the chase or tell you the long, drawn out story of getting the results and then tell you? What's that you said? The long version with the results at the end. Ok!

Kidding again. I'll cut to the chase...we're pregnant!! Yup, that's right! All your prayers have paid off. We could not be more thrilled. In fact, I feel like a giddy little school girl every time I say the words, "we're pregnant!!"

So now here's the back story. We had a little inkling that I was pregnant Monday evening, when I could no longer stand the wait and I cheated and took a home pregnancy test around 6pm (see video below to watch us get the results from the home test). They say not to take a home pregnancy test because A. It's too early, so most likely it will show "not pregnant" and B. The trigger shot is the same hormone that you test for with pregnancy tests (test too early and you could get a false positive from the hormones being in your system from the trigger). I waited as long as I could, and then caved on Monday night (when supposedly the trigger shot would be out of my system. They say it takes 7-14 days...and Monday was day 15). Anywhoo. We got a positive pregnancy test (again, see the video to watch our reactions). We were excited, but trying not to get our hopes up, since a false positive was a possibility.

I took ANOTHER home pregnancy test Tuesday morning (cut me some slack...it was a two pack and I wanted to see if the first was a fluke). It too came back positive. So after that, I began feeling like a positive pregnancy test from our blood draw was a very real possibility. I felt confident the whole drive back up to Phoenix to my doctor's office. I felt confident until I walked through the door of the doctor's office. Suddenly, I could puke...and no, not from morning sickness, that hasn't kicked in yet. I was so nervous. "What if it was a false positive?" I thought. "I really blew it this time. I didn't manage my expectations AT ALL," I kicked myself (not literally). The blood test was over before I knew it. "That's it?!" I thought. "Our fate rests in that dinky little vial!?"

The drive back to Tucson felt long. I knew as soon as I got back to Ronnie, we would call and have the results. "They have to be positive." "They don't have to be positive" I went back and forth. Finally, after a 2 hour drive, I arrived at the hospital. We sat down together on the bed, dialed up the doctor, and prayed for the best. "Congratulations," Our doctor greeted us. "YEAH?!" We said. "Yeah, congratulations, you're pregnant. Your beta is 59.1, so you're definitely pregnant."

We can't thank you guys enough for all your prayers, well wishes and love these last few weeks. We felt so supported and knew that even if the results weren't what we hoped for, we'd still feel blessed thanks to all the love and support!

**Now, we do have to dampen this with "It's very early on." Most people wait to tell people that their pregnant until further into their pregnancy - once they're in the "safe zone". But since we've promise to keep you posted with the whole IVF process, we're keeping you up to date with the results too!! Please continue to pray for a continued, healthy pregnancy!

Day 5 in the Hole

The Waiting Game

Tomorrow's the day. The day that has seemed to approach in slow motion. The day that I have waited for for the last 8 weeks....shoot the last 24 years. Tomorrow is the day I get my blood drawn to see if I'm pregnant or not. Ahh...just typing those words makes my heart race and my palms get sweaty (sorry keyboard!)

Ronnie wanted me to post today to share my thoughts this last week - probably because he wants me to have something other than him to use as a sounding board for my ramblings. I will share my thoughts with you, so that if you're ever going through this, you know that it's "completely normal".

I have felt just about every emotion in my arsenal of emotions over the last week...and thanks to these hormones I'm still injecting, I've felt all of them back to back like a bipolar maniac. The beginning of last week I was doing well. My belly was still super bloated, the recency of the transfer was still fresh in my mind. Those little embryos felt so real, so close. I KNEW that they were both in there. I knew they were just floating there and felt like if I talked to them and if I prayed enough, I could convince them to stay (or convince God to let them stay). I was sure it was going to work. The pregnancy test felt so far away, but I wasn't impatient because I KNEW what the result was going to be. I KNEW I'd be pregnant.

As we got further into the week, that certainty and the closeness of the transfer, all started to fade. I couldn't picture my babies inside me as vividly. Doubt began to creep in. What if I'm supposed to be feeling more? What if they don't stay? What if I'm not pregnant? I began researching on the internet like crazy. I googled how I should be feeling. I googled how others felt. You know what I found? I found everyone's symptoms, each different from the previous. Some people with no symptoms at all. "This is Stupid," I thought. I would vow to stop googling. Only to start researching again a few hours later. I would vacillate. I would go from confident on minute: "Of course I'm pregnant. It only makes sense. The odds are in our favor." To completely scare: "What if I'm not pregnant? What would be the next steps?"

To add to the nervousness and emotional roller coaster, my bloating started to get better. HOW CAN THE BLOATING GET BETTER? Everything I'd read is that my bloating would get worse if I got pregnant. Granted, my doctor and nurse said that I had very mild OHSS and that it would likely get better a few days after the transfer, but still. I couldn't help but let it mess with my head. Now, I still have some bloating - my mid section is a solid 2 inches bigger than normal - but it's not as bad as before, and it's certainly not worse. I have continually reminded myself that my doctors thought that I'd likely get better soon, and I've been praying like crazy to not allow me to become more bloated and uncomfortable. Could it be that this is just God answering my prayers? I continually reminded myself that He was likely just guiding this process like He has this whole time.

SO that brings us to this weekend. This weekend has been the continuation of the roller coaster, but I've been slightly more confident. I've found myself less anxious - although not by much. As Tuesday draws nearer, the wait feels more bearable. "I can wait a few more days," I tell myself over and over again.

All in all, I can easily say that this has been the longest 8 days of my entire life - and we still have 1 left. Thanks for all the love these last few weeks - we can't thank you enough! We'll let you know in Wednesday's blog what we find out!