Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Top 10 Traits Cystic Fibrosis has Instilled in Ronnie

As some of you have read in past posts, I often say that I'd rather have Ronnie with CF, than date the man Ronnie would be without it. I truly mean that. I believe Ronnie has been shaped by his CF and many of the character traits that I have fallen in love with have been instilled in him because of his CF. Here's the top 10:

10. Reliance - When Ronnie is sick, he is forced to rely on others. When Ronnie's well, he insists other's rely on him. He understands the beauty of symbiotic relationships. He understands the give and take in a healthy relationship. I love that he isn't too proud to allow me to take care of him when he's feeling off and his insistence that others rely on him.

9. Acceptance - Ronnie's accepts the fact that his has CF; he embraces it. He has realized that not everything is in our control, and when you can't control a reality what can you do? Accept it. Since he was young, Ronnie has owned his CF, been proud of it...even flaunted it. There is much to be said about someone who can take a challenge, accept it, and embrace it.

8. Discipline - It is not easy to get up an extra 30 min to an hour and a half early every day before school. It is not easy to remember to take meds every morning. It is not easy to exercise 6 out of the 7 days in the weeks, especially when it hurts. To manage his CF, Ronnie has been required to do all of these things. The result? Discipline.

7. Optimism - Ronnie understands there are 2 ways to view life: the glass half empty and the glass half full. Many people who have hard times or struggle at times find it all too easy to view the glass half empty. Ronnie, on the other hand, has realized that CF can present daily struggles, and makes it very easy to ALWAYS see the glass half empty, so he has made the choice to always be optimistic.

6. Perseverance - CF has a way of knocking you on your butt when you least expect it, and often times knocking you back down right when you get back up. In order to continually get back up, you have to persevere. A good example of his perseverance is when he was in for 50 days last winter. Each week he would work out, rest, eat well, each week he thought it would be the week he could get out, and each week his lung function didn't budge. So what did he do the next week? He worked harder!! And eventually, after much hard work and perseverance, he got out.

5. Patience - Ronnie is the most patient person I have ever met. He understands that not everything will be done in his own timing. Not better after 30 days in the hospital? Wait until you are better to get out. Want to go on vacation, but it's time for a hospital stay? Wait to go on vacation. Want a cure for CF? Wait for a cure.

4. Appreciation - Ronnie appreciates every day. Being told from a young age that your life may be shorter than most, you begin to cherish every day, every memory, every breath. When it comes to life, Ronnie takes it all in. He notices beautiful sunsets, a good cup of coffee, a good joke. He never rushes. Why rush life, he asks? He enjoys every day and doesn't let those around him busy themselves too much so that they don't stop and smell the roses.

3. Perspective - Ronnie is really good as putting things in perspective. I often fret about the little things. The things that a year from now won't matter. He has a great perspective on life. He enjoys the good, brushes off the bad and realizes that most things here on earth won't matter in the end.

2. Faithfulness (and Trust) - Ronnie has eternal faith. He truly believes that God will work everything out in His way and in His timing. He continues on, praying, trusting and believing that everything with work itself out. When things don't work out the way he envisioned or hoped they would, he embraces the reality with a smile on his face, trusting it is the way it should be.

1. Humor - Sometimes when times are hard, all you can do is laugh. Ronnie can make just about anything funny. There aren't many occasions when Ronnie isn't cracking a joke or any topic that is off limits to be the butt of one or two jokes. With only one of two words, Ronnie can have me laughing with tears running down my face. He is the funniest person I have ever met!

**PS - These are in no particular order. I "hmm'ed and haw'ed" and couldn't decide on a good order!!!

Comments (12)

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You got it. Just thought I'd give you a little peak into why we all think Ronnie having CF is a blessing.
Very sweet post.
one of the character traits you touched on mandi that has always impressed me was ron's perseverance. since we were kids, ron has always been the toughest person i know, with or without CF. he wasn't always the biggest (although for most of our lives he's always been bigger than me) but his strength was never meant to be measured by weights or being macho, and i think anyone who has had the pleasure to follow him on this website knows that.
i remember a football game when we were in high school that ron was carted off the field by an ambulance because his entire body locked up in cramps due to his CF...ron was at practice everyday that next week and back out on the field playing the next friday night. that kind of heart, that kind of determination and reluctance to be treated any differently makes ron stand out. it also makes it one of the easiest reasons to look up to him and to call him my best friend.
2 replies · active 804 weeks ago
Thanks my man, that means a lot!!
Amen JP! Thanks for leaving the comment. I love hearing your perspective...after all, you've known him much longer. Comment often :)
Adam Longwell's avatar

Adam Longwell · 804 weeks ago

Great post Mandi! I hope my daughter can follow in Ronnie's footsteps. As the dad of an almost 6 month old with CF, one of the things that I can really relate to at this point is Acceptance. Once the smoke cleared after finding out, we realized the best thing to do is accept the diagnosis and do what is best for our daughter from then on out. Sure it's hard to see other kids happy and healthy and we still wonder why did this happen , but we will take care of our little girl and help her thrive! Everything happens for a reason. Love the blog!! Take care :)
Donna Codell's avatar

Donna Codell · 803 weeks ago

I am a Mother of a CF child. My daughter will be 38 in January. Her traits are so similar to Ronnie's. She is always laughing and keeping a positive attitude. I was very touched by your comments about Ronnie. Something to share with you. Juice Plus+ is 17 different fruits, vegetables in a capsule and soft chewable. The thing that separates us from everything else in the market place is the research. It is the most researched product in the world. Juice Plus+ gives you the fruits and vegetables you are missing in your diet. It increases blood antioxidant levels in 28 days, strengthens the immune system, repairs damaged DNA and protects DNA from frree radical damage. The German Olympic team is on JP+ for the 2012 Olympics. We all have oxidative stress. When we exercise we have more oxidative stress. We need antioxidants for recovery and repairing of damaged cells and muscles. A colleague of mine's daughter had CF and started taking the orchard/garden and vineyard blend. She had a pulmonary function of 25% after eating JP+ her pulmonary function went up to 40%. Take a look at my web site and let me know what you think. www.donnacodelljuiceplus.com I look forward hearing from you.
Lindsey Ford's avatar

Lindsey Ford · 803 weeks ago

Wow, great post! Very sweet!
Jennifer Martinez's avatar

Jennifer Martinez · 802 weeks ago

I've worked at UMC for several years and have befriended many patients, many of them with CF. I've gotten close to many of them and have been deeply saddened by the reality of this disease. I've known Ron for a while but never really knew him. I'm usually the one that interrupts his nightly board game or TV show for some repetitive vitals. I think it's pretty amazing that you and him started this site. It's a great resource. I really loved this post. It's very touching. All these traits are certainly admirable and are sometimes very had to achieve even for the average"healthy" person. A lot of us healthy people take for granted our ease in breathing ,digestion and generally feeling fine. Living the lives we don't even think twice about. I thank God for it because I see what a hardship it can be at times. Thank you guys for being such great examples!!
Hi there! I started reading your blog about a year ago. My ex-boyfriend is 41 and has CF. He feels that he is cursed with this disease and that he isn't capable of living a "normal" life because he will eventually not be able to do regular things (mowing a lawn, shoveling snow, etc.). We celebrated 2 years of dating in late November of 2014. On March 27, 2015 he decided to break up with me (after throwing me a big party for my 40th on 3/7) because "I won't be able to step up for him when his health begins to decline". He is so negative and I feel like his mother had a ton of influence on him. He admitted to me on more than one occasion that he is terrified of failure and he looks at marriage as an inevitable failure especially for him since he will become so ill. Resentment and hurt feelings are too scary for him to bear and he often has run from him problems rather than face them head on. So here I am just 6 months out of a really damn (sorry) good relationship and am in so much pain that I'm reaching out to people I don't know because you might have felt some of these emotions growing up with CF and/or living with someone with CF. I don't think he will ever come out and say that he was just too scared to make a commitment but I pray that he stops putting the blame on me (and what I couldn't do for him) when I try and get answers. Ronnie and Mandi, you are beautiful together and your family! I admire your positive spirit and only wish the man I love had a small percentage of this in his life. Take care!
1 reply · active 496 weeks ago
I had very similar feelings growing up. I felt guilty when I let a girl get too close as I felt my health and constant treatments and hospital stays were a burden. I convinced myself that I was being kind and considerate by not letting them get too close. I was a fool :) I will say however, that it took a very special woman to turn my thoughts around and make me realize that she loved me at least in part because of my CF and the positive things it has produced in my life.

I hope that he's able to change his way of thinking about CF as you can't really enjoy life if you always feel like you have one foot in the grave.

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