Friday, May 24, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
I'm thankful for play dates. Mckenna and I went to the train park with my friend, and her's. Angie and I became friends when we were both pregnant, and Mckenna and Harlow have been hanging out since birth. They love spending time together. Harlow became a big sissy a few weeks back, and now Mckenna gets to play with Harlow and baby sissy, London, on play dates. It's always a blast.
I'm thankful for my parents. Ronnie has been in 3 weeks as of tomorrow, and I have virtually lived at my parents' house with the except of 2 nights. They have made the stay a breeze and for that I am SO thankful.
I'm thankful for water. In AZ, in the summer, water becomes your best friend. I have guzzled a lot of water each day (about a gallon a day) ever since pregnancy and nursing, but it tastes so much better in the summer!
I'm thankful for an adult CF team that is trusting in the fact that I know my body and know what I need. They have been incredibly helpful this stay and definitely putting me in the best position to succeed. I don't feel the pressure to get out of here as quickly as I have in times past and that has made a big difference. I'm getting close to blowing this popsicle stand!
I'm thankful for surprise visits. Yesterday was Mandi and my 3 year wedding anniversary. Mandi didn't mention coming down at all Monday or Tuesday, so I kind of figured something was up :) After seeing that she was not online Wednesday morning at her usual time, I was more convinced that I'd see her. To my delight, Mckenna and her walked into my room just before 11am. I was soooooooo happy. I know that packing up and coming down here isn't easy, and I'm just thankful that I have a wife willing to do that.
I'm thankful for my momma. My mom has spent time here in the Hole with me almost every single day during my time here. As a bonus, she usually comes bearing gifts like Dunkin Donuts coffee or a bag of jelly beans. She also brings me dinner almost every night. I am truly blessed to have the family that I do.
So, what are you thankful for today?
Labels: Thankful Thursday
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
To my beautiful wife - Happy anniversary! Three years down girl!! I can't thank you enough for being the woman that you are. If there was a more perfect wife and mother, I've never met her. Not happy about being stuck in the Hole on this day, but it's only because I plan on spending 50 more of these with you. I love you so much and I can't wait to add on to this "leather" day!
I hope the vows that I said to you on our wedding day are backed up by my actions every single hour that we share together...
My vow to you - May 22nd, 2010:
Mandi, I know that you have been dreaming of your wedding day since you were a little girl. And although I can’t claim that I ever dreamed about this day as a little boy, I now know that it was you I was dreaming of when I became a man. I could stand here and tell you all of the reasons that I love you, but we’d miss our honeymoon.
I just want you to know that you’re my inspiration. You have given me a zest for life that I’ve never felt before. Your smile, love, laughter, winks, hugs, kisses, drive, trust, spark, words, glances, encouragement and your support, fuel me each day and give me the energy to be who I am. Before you, I didn’t quite know what my purpose was. I now know that it was to be your best friend and your husband. No matter what lies ahead for us I will see it as a journey; one that can only be completed by the two of us together, with God by our side.
I promise to you today before God, our family and friends to love you unconditionally. I believe that God has been preparing us for this moment and for our future together since the day we were born. Before this world was even created, I believe that God chose you as a perfect compliment to me.
Through the good and bad, I want you to always know that I will be by your side. I promise that you will never again face life alone.
I promise to dance with you in the sunlight and prepare us for the storms. When the storms do come, I promise to hold you and to protect you. I promise to never keep tallies of wrongs, instead give you praise for all that you do which is right. I promise to never let the sun go down on our anger, and to treat each morning as a new day to love you. Our love may be like the ebb and tide of the ocean, but it will always flow.
In times of want, I will do all that I can to make our love rich. And in times of plenty, I will never let our love grow poor. In sickness, I will nurse you back to health. In health, I will do everything I can to watch you fulfill your dreams. In sadness, I will give you a shoulder to cry on. In happiness, I will be there to create memories with you.
When you need someone to encourage you, I want it to be me. When you need a helping hand, I want it to be mine. When you long for someone to smile at, look to me. When you want to tell a story, turn to me. When you feel weak, take my strength.
When my strength isn’t enough, I promise that I will call out to our Lord in Heaven. I promise to lead by example in our relationship with Christ and remain faithful to Him all of our days. I promise to lead us in a life of worship and to always put the Will of the Father before our own.
I will not forsake you or these vows that we have made, but rather strive to show you my love for the rest of our lives. This is my promise to you: From this moment, everything I am and everything I have is yours and for eternity my love for you will remain.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
This stretch has been a little longer than my recent stretches, but I also came in sicker than I've been for a while. Not only "CF sick" in terms of increased cough, sputum production, etc, but also "sick sick" with a fever, sore throat etc. My PFTs followed suit and I blew some of the lower numbers I've had for quite some time. It wasn't even with a second thought that the team knew I needed to be in here.
My first week in here was very similar to most of my first weeks in here. When these antibiotics first hit my body, it feels like I'm literally being hit. Sore joints, sore muscles, aches and pains are very common my first week here. It's become par for the course as I get older and something that I'm mentally prepared for.
After 10 days in the Hole I did another set of PFTs. I came in blowing a 57% and after 10 days of treatment, I blew a 60%. I had to quickly get in the right frame of mind after blowing that number. More so, I wasn't feeling all that much better. After the initial disappointment that lasted about 10 seconds, I thought back to other times in here that my numbers actually went down in the first week. The times that staying in here 30 days was coming place. I did a quick perspective exercise and was feeling good about it all at the end of the day.
In this third week, I'm happy to say that I'm still trending upward. I'm not up to my magical "baseline number", but more importantly, I'm not back to me yet...but, I'm getting there. I blew again yesterday and blew a 66%. For me, nothing to brag about, but also an encouraging step forward to getting out of here. I'm starting to clear out some of the old stuff that's been hiding out deep inside my lungs and it feels like I can take deeper and deeper breaths each day. I'm hopeful that I am truly in the homestretch.
My workouts have been getting better as well. I make sure that I'm taking a brisk walk daily and I have even managed to get some runs and stair work in while I've been here. On Sunday, I was able to run for 30 minutes straight around the hospital. It wasn't easy, but it felt great after I was done.
Anyway, just a quick update for those of you who were curious. I thank you for all of your prayers, notes and support. I'll be out of here soon.
Labels: Hospital Stays
Monday, May 20, 2013
So at the end of the fun-filled day, we headed back up to Phoenix at Mckenna's bedtime, so she would just sleep in the car on the way home. It's about a 2.5 hour drive from the hospital to my parents, and little miss thang doesn't do well on long (and short) car rides if she's awake.
Well around 9pm I hit the last stop sign before my parents' neighborhood (about a quarter mile from their house). As the only car in the intersection, I tapped my breaks to slow down, and made my right turn, without coming to a full and complete stop. I barely had time to hit my accelerator to speed back up before I saw cop lights turn on behind me. "Awesome." I thought. Was I concerned about a ticket? A little. Was I concerned about this idiot waking Mckenna up in the process of pulling me over for a rolling stop at an empty intersection at 9PM at night? BIG TIME. I pulled over the first chance I had, which was at the entrance of my parents' neighborhood. I rolled down my window and began to fumble around for my license and registration.
Then, as I scoured for my most current insurance card, I heard, "Hi, Ma'am."
"Hi," I whispered back with my head WAYYYY out the window as to try to not wake Mckenna in the backseat.
"Do you have a little one in the back?" He said as he looked into the back window.
"Yeah, sorry, trying to keep her asleep."
"I pulled you over because you didn't come to a full and complete stop back at the stop sign."
"Ok," I said, with no excuse other than it's a waste of time to stop, when there are no other cars stopped at the intersection...and I figured he didn't want that excuse.
"This your house?" He asked.
"No it's my parents'. I'm staying with them."
"Where are you coming from?"
Oh boy, I thought. I wanted to lay on the sympathy card big time, but decided it would be more effective if I held off...yeah, I'm a bad person, I know. And I decided I'd only tell him if he decided to get nosy and ask lots of questions. "I'm coming from Tucson."
"Tucson? What were you doing in Tucson?"
Jackpot! "I was down there for the day visiting my husband in the hospital." I had a feeling at that point he wouldn't give me a ticket.
"What's he in the hospital for?" He asked, as if to see if I was lying.
"He has Cystic Fibrosis. So he's been in for a couple weeks getting treatments."
"Oh," he said with a little gulp. "I'll be right back." He said before walking away to run my license.
...I sat, nervous. I hate being pulled over. I hate being pulled over for something so dumb it makes me want to punch the cop in the face.
"Are you tired?" I heard and looked up. It was kind of a strange question. I wasn't sure where he was going.
"Umm, yeah. It makes for a long couple of weeks," I said out loud...I wasn't sure if that was the "right" answer, but I gave it anyways.
"You probably just want to get home, get your baby in bed...take a shower...and maybe relax a little bit."
...That's strange, I thought....but I also knew he was sympathizing with me and that I'd likely get off with a warning. "Yeah," I said.
"Ok, well I'm just going to give you a warning, but you need to come to a full stop at that intersection. It's so dark at that intersection, if someone were there without lights on, you wouldn't see them."
I had a couple smart responses I wanted to reply with. I wanted to ask the likelihood of in a pitch black area someone not realizing their lights were off. And if they were off, the likelihood that their tail lights being out too. BUUUT I kept my mouth shut and just replied, "you're right."
We said our goodbyes and I headed on my way...without a ticket.