It's a Girl!!! (and 3D-4D pics are crazy awesome)

So Peanut's been a little modest with us for the last couple of ultrasounds so we thought we'd try to get an even better view and made an appointment with a place that could do 3D-4D shots. Unfortunately, we still weren't able to get a clear "4D" shot of the goods, but now two separate ultrasound techs have told us they are 99.9% positive that we're having a little girl :)

We are so excited it's crazy!! We were of course happy to have either a girl or a boy, but just knowing for sure what we're cooking is nice. Now, I will say, we're going to hold off a bit on any purchases until we have another confirmation ultrasound in about 9 weeks and the reasons are two fold - still no absolute money shot and the biggest reason, we've read on too many message boards about couples being told that they were having a little girl at 19 weeks only to birth a boy 20 weeks later :) I mean, the techs did say 99.9% right?

The best news was that our lil' Peanut passed the anatomy scan with flying colors. She's growing right on target and all of her internal organs are looking fabulous.

Enjoy the pics and we'll of course post more pics as we get them (you can also be on the look out for a video as well)...

Ring Test - Baby Gender Predictor

I know I was supposed to finish up Tuesday's blog, but I've come down with some weird stomach/body virus that is really wrecking some havoc around here. Mandi started feeling sick this morning and thought it was morning sickness until I started feeling a bit queasy. It got worse as the day continued and now has turned into a full fledged body attacking virus. My joints ache, I feel like I'm on the verge of throwing up and I can't wait to get to bed. I apologize for not finishing up Tuesday's blog, but I do promise to get to it soon.

In response to some comments on Monday's blog about finding out the gender of our little peanut, we've decided to put some of your suggestions to the test. A few of you suggested trying "The Ring Test" to determine the sex of our baby. For those that don't know. you're supposed to hold a wedding ring that is tied to a string above your pregnant belly. If the ring rocks back and forth in a straight line, it's a girl - if it starts in a circular motion, it's a boy. So, what do you think our ring did???

**Edit - Apparently Mandi is supposed to be lying down for the ring test. Whoops :)**

Boy or Girl? 15 Week Ultrasound

So what do you think, boy or girl??

Our Week 13 Ultrasound!!

S/he really put on a show this week. Best part of the video is when s/he scratches his/her knee :)

Week 12 Ultrasound

We had our 12 week ultrasound yesterday and just like every ultrasound before, it's a bit tense until you see the little heart beating. Fortunately this time we saw the heartbeat right away and even got to check out our baby's brain, spine, kidneys, etc. It still amazes me that a little human no different than me, just a bit smaller, is growing inside of my wife. Enjoy the video - it's truly amazing.

First Friday: It's a Human...

...and it MOVES!!

Yesterday's ultrasound was by far the coolest yet. Our little peanut has graduated from looking like a seahorse, to looking like a real, live baby! We could instantly see little arm and leg buds and peanut actually has a visible head - in fact, a head that made up about 1/2 of the body (which we're told is normal, but scares me to death for the labor! If peanut has Ronnie's head, it could be very interesting!) Also very cool was the fact that this time you could see the umbilical cord, and watch the blood flow through it. It's little heart was beating even faster now - at about 178 beats a minute. The beating almost appeared in tandem with the blood flow through the umbilical cord.

And while all of that was so incredible to see, the most amazing part was that our baby was MOVING!! Yup, at just 9 weeks and 2 days, peanut was moving. We watched in amazement as it's whole body would wiggle, and as the little arms and legs would punch and kick. We're attaching a video, so you can see the wonder that is a tiny baby moving. You'll have to watch VERY closely though, because the movement isn't noticeable if you blink or aren't focused.

All in all, it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life - I think even more exciting than seeing the heartbeat for the first time. Something about peanut actually looking like a baby AND moving made it all so real.

Blueberry with a Beat

It's a bird...it's a plane...nope, it's a BLUEBERRY with a heartbeat. 7 weeks pregnant today, our little peanut is about the size of a blueberry. We had our first ultrasound yesterday afternoon, and man was it an incredible experience. As soon as the nurse got into "position" we could see our little peanut (yes, I did say peanut, singular) all cozy in my tummy. It took another moment for the nurse to get it into focus and then, incredibly, we could see the flicker of the little peanut's heartbeat. It was unbelievable! I don't know if I fully took it in because I just sat there ecstatic that there was something in there and that it had a heartbeat. But I was completely in awe that God has placed something to tiny in my belly, and has created it in a way that it can already have a heartbeat. Completely mind-blowing. I wasn't ready to stop looking at my little bean when the nurse moved onto my ovaries, but I figured she'd give us another chance to see our baby before it was all said and done.

So then it was onto my other baby-makin' parts. My ovaries look pretty good. They aren't too, too big, but they are covered in cysts (which I understand to actually just be the follicles filled up with fluid). The cysts are quite large, and to be honest, a bit alarming, but the nurse said it was nothing to be concerned about and that they'd resolve on their own (I guess the fluid just gets reabsorbed). She did say that it actually can be good for the pregnancy, though, because they "help support the pregnancy" by producing hormones. She didn't seem at all alarmed, so I'm not letting my mind wander. She did take measurements of many of the larger cysts and I assume they'll be monitoring them over the next few ultrasounds.

I am excited to share that our little 'nut is measuring exactly as it should (exactly 6 weeks 6 days, which we were yesterday) and the heartbeat was "perfect" at 169 - that little heart was flickering like mad!

We will have another ultrasound next Monday, and all will continue to cruise along as it is now (hopefully). I did find out that I should hold off running (I think in part because of the cysts), so it'll just be walking and the elliptical for me until after 8 weeks. I will be on the Progesterone until who knows when. I thought that I'd be done next Tuesday (based on what I was originally told) but it sounds like it may be longer than that (but who knows, I didn't ask questions, I was too excited about my 'nut).

Below are our first two pictures of our baby!!

First Tummy Shots

Welp, as many of you can tell, we're still in the hole, but we're thinking Ronnie will likely get out Tuesday or Wednesday. They decided (upon Ronnie's request) to do a 5-day Prednisone burst, so he'll be on Prednisone for 5 days and then taper off (likely at home). Hopefully we get out soon, because between my hormonal craziness and Ronnie on Prednisone, we just might end up killing one another before we spring him. Kidding...it hasn't been that bad (the combo that is...my hormonal craziness has, in fact, been that bad).

Which brings me to my next update. We have our first ultrasound at 3pm today. We couldn't be more excited. We will find out if there is in fact a baby growing in there, and see if it's one or two! I have a hunch it's one, but maybe we'll be surprised and it will be two! I am both excited and nervous! I don't care if it's one or two, as long as there's at least one!! Still no morning sickness. My tummy feels a little out of wack if I'm very hungry or very full, but other than that, nada. I have been pretty sleepy - I even took a nap on Saturday and Sunday for an hour or so each. But I've had the energy to get some run-walks in (more walking than running), so that is good. The most unattractive of my pregnancy symptoms seems to be coming on in full force. My face is more broken out than when I went through puberty and I have more hair on my tummy? Yeah, oh so attractive, I was debating keeping those things to myself, but I've promised the facts, so there you have them - the good, the bad, and the really ugly. Now, a bit of a disclaimer, I've googled "hair on tummy" and some people talk about long, dark, coarse hair - luckily, that is not what I'm dealing with. But my blonde peach fuzz does seem to be darker than I ever remember it. Although, it may not be helped by how sunless I am (pale skin, and my hair is always darker in the winter) and the fact that I only look at it under the yellow, florescent lights of the hospital room. Perhaps I should check it out in the light of day, maybe it's all in my head? As for the pizza face, I don't think the lighting or lack of sun can explain it away. It's pretty bad. I'm just hopeful that getting off these Progesterone injections may help clear it up a bit (but I'm not holding my breath).

As promised, here are some belly pics. You'll notice it's really just a lot of bloating, and my bloating in my tummy is finally going away. (I think It may be defying gravity and going straight to my chest - I now almost fill an A-cup...look out, I may move out of my training bra at some point! ha!) Also, I will include my weight (although I think that may become brutal! I've put the average for the week, as my weight fluctuates by a few pounds from day to day, I think it's due to all the water I'm retaining.)

Before the egg retrieval - my pre-pregnancy belly

Weight: 105 lbs

A few days after egg retrieval (I wasn't kidding about the bloating)

Weight 108 lbs

4 weeks pregnant

Weight: 107 lbs

5 weeks pregnant

Weight: 108 lbs

6 weeks pregnant

Weight: 108 lbs

In looking at these photos, my tummy looks like it's getting bigger. But I assure you in person the bloating was worse in weeks 4 and 5 and now is less. These were all in the morning, and the bloating is always the worst at night, so these just don't do it justice.

Pregnancy and Hospital Update

Man, this week has flown by. I figured I'd just give a little update. This week has been uneventful. Ronnie's still in the hole getting all tuned-up, and I have just been working and enjoying his company after work. We have started getting back into a little bit of a workout routine (at least our typical hospital workout routine), so we go for 2-4 mile walks each day, Ronnie runs (I still am not running because I'm still bloated, so my ovaries are probably still pretty swollen/enlarged) and then I've been riding the exercise bike in Ronnie's room for 20-45 minutes a day. It's felt great to get back into a bit of a workout routine.

Which brings me to my pregnancy update - I am thankful that I still have the energy to work out. I am pretty wiped out by about noon each day, and my body wants to nap, but if I get up and move around a bit, I can wake up long enough to finish the work day and get back to the room. I try to get in my workout before I get too comfortable, or I probably wouldn't get back up. Surprisingly, my workouts wake me up and give me a pretty good second wind, which keeps me up until around 9:30 - then it's doze off time during our typical evening TV watching. I haven't had any morning sickness yet. I've read that most people have morning sickness set in around week 6 or 7 (if they have it at all), so I'm anticipating I'll likely start not feeling so great in the next week or so (I'm 6 weeks on Tuesday). I'm getting a little tired of the Progesterone shots (which I'm on for another 2 weeks from Tuesday). My butt is a little sore, but it's certainly become pretty routine, so it's not too bad. We've been taking belly shot photos, which I'll start posting next week, but they're a little skewed because I look about 3 months pregnant from my bloating - which is starting to go down! YIPPEE. For you ladies out there who may be wondering, I will be posting (starting next week) my belly size and weight (GULP) if anyone's curious how my body is changing. As of Tuesday (our 6 week mark) we'll be the proud parents of one or two lentil(s) - they've grown a ton in just one week!

I'll be honest, I'm really ready to have Ronnie get out of the hole this time. I don't know what it is about this hospital stay, but I've been ready to get back into "normal" life more than I ever have (normally I'm not in a rush at all). I'm not sure if some of it is because things were so wacky the 2 weeks before we came in for the tune-up, as I was so sick from the egg retrieval, sleeping on the couch, unable to really eat normally, not exercising, etc. So we have been out of our "normal" routine for longer than usual between the IVF stuff and the hospital stay. I am so looking forward to getting back into our gym and run/walk routine, dinner routine, sleeping in our bed together, all those little things. I love the hospital time - the time with family and the unique time together - but I'm just ready for a little routine back into our lives (sans nurses, PCTs, and RTs coming in every hour.) I will say this though, I've thoroughly enjoyed watching Chuck seasons, Dunkin' Donuts Saturday and Sunday morning, yummy meals prepared by Ronnie's mom, and time spent with family - that I am not looking forward to leaving behind.

Thankful Thursday - This one is pretty obvious

Know what time it is? It's thankful Thursday time! We checked into the Hole one week ago and it's time to celebrate a little thankful Thursday! We all have so much to be thankful for and we love to take this opportunity just to write down each and everything that comes to mind. as I mentioned last week, I no longer have the "linky tools" but I invite you to share your thankful blog in the comments section. Without further ado, here's what we're thankful for:

Mandi's List:

I'm SO thankful that my God is one that is faithful and answers prayers. We have been praying that He would guide us through our IVF process, and man did He come through big time. A smooth diagnostic period, Ronnie having swimmers, and good little swimmers to boot, just the right number of embryos, and pregnant the first cycle. I am so thankful that this process isn't in my control (holy smokes, did you just hear this type A actually say that?!) and that I have a God who is so good, who's guiding this! I am so thankful to be blessed with this baby/these babies!!

I'm thankful for butt rubs. Any lady that has ever done progesterone shots (or anyone who has had oil-based shots before) knows what I'm talking about. Those suckers start to leave a lasting impressions after a few weeks worth. My butt has bit lumps and bumps of oil trapped (and some gnarly bruises) and it feels like heaven to have my loving hubby rub my sore spots to get some of the oil broken down and out of there.

I'm thankful for coffee. Gasp. "You're drinking coffee?!" you're thinking. No. I am not. And that is why I'm thankful for it. I miss it like mad right about now. As many of you know, weekend mornings while Ronnie is in the hospital are Dunkin Donuts mornings. And the smell of coffee in the morning makes my heart happy. Unfortunately I can't partake, but you better believe I'm going to pound the coffee in approximately 9 months. I am so thankful for this tasty drink. Have an extra cup for me this morning!!

I'm thankful for hospital stays. The hospital is always a nice time for Ronnie and I to relax together and hang out with his family. Sure we still work, and we can get a little cabin fever, but I always enjoy the quality time that hospital stays bring. I'm thankful for hospital traditions and fun experiences. We always leave with many, many good memories and some funny stories. I'm thankful that we can enjoy each other, and life, anywhere.

Ronnie's List:

I guess my first one's a little obvious, but I'm really thankful that were pregnant! We're approaching this cautiously optimistic as we know nothing is for sure until were holding our baby (or babies) in our arms, but for now we're just in the celebrate this miracle. We heard all along that this would be quite the journey and I'm just so thankful that our road was pretty smooth. I don't think it could have gone any better and we're just praying that in nine months or so the Sharpe clan gets a bit bigger! We can't thank you enough for your thoughts and prayers, we literally felt every single one of them.

I'm so thankful for the research teams out there working their butt off to make the lives of my friends so much better. As I'm sure you've heard, the pharmaceutical company Vertex just announced very positive results from their phase 3 drug study of the compound VX770. This little blue pill did very well and we're all excited for the future. It is shown to increase lung function, decrease exacerbations, increase weight and a host of other positive things simply by opening up the chloride channel on our cells. Now, I must point out that this drug is for a specific mutation that effects about 4% of our population, but they're very optimistic that this is the start to something great for the entire community! I'm super excited for my friends with the G551D mutation and I can't wait until this drug is released in 2012. Let's keep our fingers crossed that the FDA gets on the ball and approves this thing.

I'm thankful that after a week in the Hole I've turned the corner and improving bit by bit everyday. You never quite know how things are going here, but I'm confident I have nowhere but up! I'm going to start testing my lungs pretty soon here by running laps from a hospital and sprinting up the staircase. I'm hoping not spring a leak aka hemoptysis aka my lungs bleeding, but I figure there's no better place to do it than in here. I'll be taking PFTs on Monday and I'm very hopeful that they'll be up from a week ago. I checked in here with an FEV1 of about 60% and I'm hoping that by the time I'm out it will be in the lower 70s. Maybe I'll even shoot for 75%! Sure wouldn't hurt to try.

Pregnancy Test

We wanted to give you a little update. The hospital has been going very well. Ronnie is starting to feel a little better......OK JUST KIDDING. I'm sure most of you are tuning in to hear the results of our beta pregnancy test. So should I just cut to the chase or tell you the long, drawn out story of getting the results and then tell you? What's that you said? The long version with the results at the end. Ok!

Kidding again. I'll cut to the chase...we're pregnant!! Yup, that's right! All your prayers have paid off. We could not be more thrilled. In fact, I feel like a giddy little school girl every time I say the words, "we're pregnant!!"

So now here's the back story. We had a little inkling that I was pregnant Monday evening, when I could no longer stand the wait and I cheated and took a home pregnancy test around 6pm (see video below to watch us get the results from the home test). They say not to take a home pregnancy test because A. It's too early, so most likely it will show "not pregnant" and B. The trigger shot is the same hormone that you test for with pregnancy tests (test too early and you could get a false positive from the hormones being in your system from the trigger). I waited as long as I could, and then caved on Monday night (when supposedly the trigger shot would be out of my system. They say it takes 7-14 days...and Monday was day 15). Anywhoo. We got a positive pregnancy test (again, see the video to watch our reactions). We were excited, but trying not to get our hopes up, since a false positive was a possibility.

I took ANOTHER home pregnancy test Tuesday morning (cut me some slack...it was a two pack and I wanted to see if the first was a fluke). It too came back positive. So after that, I began feeling like a positive pregnancy test from our blood draw was a very real possibility. I felt confident the whole drive back up to Phoenix to my doctor's office. I felt confident until I walked through the door of the doctor's office. Suddenly, I could puke...and no, not from morning sickness, that hasn't kicked in yet. I was so nervous. "What if it was a false positive?" I thought. "I really blew it this time. I didn't manage my expectations AT ALL," I kicked myself (not literally). The blood test was over before I knew it. "That's it?!" I thought. "Our fate rests in that dinky little vial!?"

The drive back to Tucson felt long. I knew as soon as I got back to Ronnie, we would call and have the results. "They have to be positive." "They don't have to be positive" I went back and forth. Finally, after a 2 hour drive, I arrived at the hospital. We sat down together on the bed, dialed up the doctor, and prayed for the best. "Congratulations," Our doctor greeted us. "YEAH?!" We said. "Yeah, congratulations, you're pregnant. Your beta is 59.1, so you're definitely pregnant."

We can't thank you guys enough for all your prayers, well wishes and love these last few weeks. We felt so supported and knew that even if the results weren't what we hoped for, we'd still feel blessed thanks to all the love and support!

**Now, we do have to dampen this with "It's very early on." Most people wait to tell people that their pregnant until further into their pregnancy - once they're in the "safe zone". But since we've promise to keep you posted with the whole IVF process, we're keeping you up to date with the results too!! Please continue to pray for a continued, healthy pregnancy!

Day 5 in the Hole

The Waiting Game

Tomorrow's the day. The day that has seemed to approach in slow motion. The day that I have waited for for the last 8 weeks....shoot the last 24 years. Tomorrow is the day I get my blood drawn to see if I'm pregnant or not. Ahh...just typing those words makes my heart race and my palms get sweaty (sorry keyboard!)

Ronnie wanted me to post today to share my thoughts this last week - probably because he wants me to have something other than him to use as a sounding board for my ramblings. I will share my thoughts with you, so that if you're ever going through this, you know that it's "completely normal".

I have felt just about every emotion in my arsenal of emotions over the last week...and thanks to these hormones I'm still injecting, I've felt all of them back to back like a bipolar maniac. The beginning of last week I was doing well. My belly was still super bloated, the recency of the transfer was still fresh in my mind. Those little embryos felt so real, so close. I KNEW that they were both in there. I knew they were just floating there and felt like if I talked to them and if I prayed enough, I could convince them to stay (or convince God to let them stay). I was sure it was going to work. The pregnancy test felt so far away, but I wasn't impatient because I KNEW what the result was going to be. I KNEW I'd be pregnant.

As we got further into the week, that certainty and the closeness of the transfer, all started to fade. I couldn't picture my babies inside me as vividly. Doubt began to creep in. What if I'm supposed to be feeling more? What if they don't stay? What if I'm not pregnant? I began researching on the internet like crazy. I googled how I should be feeling. I googled how others felt. You know what I found? I found everyone's symptoms, each different from the previous. Some people with no symptoms at all. "This is Stupid," I thought. I would vow to stop googling. Only to start researching again a few hours later. I would vacillate. I would go from confident on minute: "Of course I'm pregnant. It only makes sense. The odds are in our favor." To completely scare: "What if I'm not pregnant? What would be the next steps?"

To add to the nervousness and emotional roller coaster, my bloating started to get better. HOW CAN THE BLOATING GET BETTER? Everything I'd read is that my bloating would get worse if I got pregnant. Granted, my doctor and nurse said that I had very mild OHSS and that it would likely get better a few days after the transfer, but still. I couldn't help but let it mess with my head. Now, I still have some bloating - my mid section is a solid 2 inches bigger than normal - but it's not as bad as before, and it's certainly not worse. I have continually reminded myself that my doctors thought that I'd likely get better soon, and I've been praying like crazy to not allow me to become more bloated and uncomfortable. Could it be that this is just God answering my prayers? I continually reminded myself that He was likely just guiding this process like He has this whole time.

SO that brings us to this weekend. This weekend has been the continuation of the roller coaster, but I've been slightly more confident. I've found myself less anxious - although not by much. As Tuesday draws nearer, the wait feels more bearable. "I can wait a few more days," I tell myself over and over again.

All in all, I can easily say that this has been the longest 8 days of my entire life - and we still have 1 left. Thanks for all the love these last few weeks - we can't thank you enough! We'll let you know in Wednesday's blog what we find out!

Embryos on Board

Yesterday was the day - but do not be afraid by the lack of posting :) Everything went very well, I just came home and laid right on the couch, and, truthfully, penning a blog wasn't so much a priority.

Yesterday at 2:30 our embryo transfer was scheduled. We were delayed by a few hours, and ended up doing the transfer around 4:45. They brought me back into the office's OR, had me put on a gown, booties, and little hat, and Ronnie put on a full body jumpsuit thing (our IVF lingerie), which made him look more like he was clearing toxic waste than makin' a baby. We waited for our doctor to come in to talk to us about our embryos and the game plan for the day. He pulled out a sheet of paper full of scribbles and began to unpack what it held. "You had 15 embryos. Now you have 2, maybe 3. The rest stopped developing around 8 cell embryos." My tummy sank. How could we lose so many? I tried not to feel sad or get choked up: "he did say we had 2 to transfer today, after all," I told myself. After discussing the babies we were putting back, and the 3rd they'd watch overnight (which would likely peter out also), he left the room. I jumped up to go to the bathroom to process alone for a minute before having to discuss with Ronnie. I was so bummed, but trying to just focus on the fact that we had two to put back. Then it hit me. Maybe this was God answering our prayers. Our primary prayer through this process was that he would provide just the right number of embryos. We were going to use through all of the embryos we had - even if it meant 15 kids. It hit me that I shouldn't allow my mind to run through all the "what-ifs" and "to do's" if these two didn't take. Instead, I should take a few minutes to thank God for answering our prayer, even if it didn't make sense at this very moment.

So I emerged from the bathroom with a new 'tude. Excited. Ready to let these two little embryos make themselves at home in their happy mommy's tummy (no one likes a mad, bitter, worried mommy anyways, right?) Ronnie and I chatted about our thoughts on the embryos we lost, and the 2 we were transferring in a few moments. He shared my thoughts exactly.

A few minutes later we were making our way onto the bed where it was going to happen. I have to admit, I never pictured getting pregnant on a bed like this. In my mind there was never me, my husband, and 3 additional people around. Certainly no one would be wearing the clothes we were wearing. I never pictured it this way, but it was perfect! Ronnie stood at the top of the bed, holding my hands and smiling at me (he was wearing a mask, so while I couldn't actually see his smile, I could tell by the way his eyes were squinted that he was smiling). I prayed that this would go smoothly. Dr. Nemiro put the speculum in, and then inserted the catheter through my cervix. I prayed that my babies would get there soon and that God would keep them safe on their journey into my belly. 30 seconds later, the embryologist came through the door (they were communicating through a window in the wall, from OR to lab, the whole time to make sure the timing was perfect.) Drew, the embryologist, had our babies in a syringe/catheter, linked up to the catheter Dr. Nemiro had already placed - and with a steady push of the flushing fluid into my uterus, our babies were home. I prayed that they were getting nice and settled and that God would make this their home for the next 10 months. They wait 45 seconds before removing the catheter to allow the embryos to float away from and land somewhere. I prayed that they were landing somewhere and that God would protect them in my belly. Next thing I knew we were done. Just like that, two babies in my belly. Ronnie kissed my forehead and I tried my best not to move, to allow them to get comfortable.

We had to wait for an hour before leaving the clinic (we actually laid there for more like 1.5 hours, I wasn't in a hurry, wanting to give them all the time in the world to get comfortable...I would have slept there if they left me!)

So that was it. That is how you begin carrying two embryos in just a matter of hours. Now it's just pray and wait. Our pregnancy test is scheduled for next Tuesday, February 22...I think this will be a LONG week!

Egg Retrieval, Passing Out, and 5-month Pregnant Belly

I wanted to update you regarding the latest and greatest in IVF news. My egg retrieval was this morning, and it went very well. While we were there we found out that Ronnie's contribution had a ton of good swimmers, so they will definitely be able to fertilize all my eggs - which brings me to my next update. The egg retrieval resulted in 42 EGGS! Crazy, huh? Before you become too impressed, I should tell you that only 22 were mature! The video below is me, shortly after the procedure...still feeling pretty good.

Unfortunately, that didn't last all too long. After hitting the Gatorade hard, I had to go potty. The short trip to the bathroom resulted in my passing out, Ronnie getting to me before I was all the way out, and lightly getting me to the ground. After a solid 30 minutes on the bathroom floor, I was back up to snuff and ready to just go lay down in bed. I attempted to go potty again, made it this time, but again, the fainting drama ensued. This time, I didn't pass out, just got the chills, clammy and dizzy. Ever since those two episodes, I've been sitting in bed. The passing out has stopped, but the tightness/bloating in my stomach and chest hasn't subsided yet. We're talking BLOATED. I look about 3-5 months pregnant right now! I've pounded Gatorade like it's my job, and luckily peeing a ton (not peeing would mean we needed to let someone at our clinic know).

I am feeling much better this evening. Poor Ronnie has had to wait on me all day, while trying to ignore his throbbing souther-region! We Will keep you posted. Check out the video below to see me at my merriest! We have additional videos from today that we'll post another day :)

Keep us in your prayers. We so appreciate your support!

PS - Below is a video of our doctor performing an egg retrieval. This isn't of my actual procedure, as he didn't want Ronnie in there filming (it's a tiny room), but told us where we could find this video of a previous procedure he had shot himself.

**Warning - this isn't bloody or grotesque, but if words like vagina make you queazy, you may want to sit this one out! Hope you didn't just eat :)

IVF Crunch Time!!

How about those Packers, huh? It was a good game, and I was able to at least sit and pretend to watch most of it! Although our recording cut off, so we didn't see the last few minutes...LAME-O!! I absolutely LOVE the Super Bowl....commercials. I was relatively impressed by the commercials this year. There were a few really great ones. The halftime show was underwhelming. I actually like the Black Eyed Peas, but man oh man, they are terrible live and the sound guy made their mics way too loud for the quality of their voices. They're the kind of group that does a whole lot better when the background music drowns them out a bit (or A LOT). I did like Usher though. That man can dance.

We took a brief intermission from the game to give me my HCG trigger shot precisely at 7:30 PM. "Why are you telling us this?" you ask. Because it's the actual point of my blog, and I tried to ease into it by starting with some current events (how did I do?). The HCG trigger shot, to me, signifies the transition between all the boring, early IVF stuff, and the exciting, ball-moving-forward, IVF stuff. I've been doing HMG stimulant drugs since last Sunday. Thursday we had a really good ultrasound, which showed a lot of eggs growing. They wanted us to go back Friday afternoon, to see how I was doing again, since I wouldn't see them all weekend. Friday my eggs had grown more and they decided that I would be ready for my egg retrieval at 7:30 AM on Tuesday. That's right, TUESDAY! WOOT WOOT! In order to be ready for a Tuesday egg retrieval, they had me take my last HMG shot on Saturday morning with my Lupron. Then Sunday I did my Lupron in the AM, and Lupron and Trigger shot at 7:30pm. Why do I keep saying 7:30pm? Because the time on this one really matters. Exactly 38 hours after the shot is given, your eggs will naturally release. Therefore, they have you give it to yourself exactly 36 hours prior to your retrieval, so that your eggs will finish the maturation process, but before they can release, they snatch them from me. Today I take Medrol in the morning and Zithromax at night. Then I can't eat from midnight until after the procedure. This afternoon is Ronnie's big performance, his TESA, in which they'll go in and remove "cores" (OUCH) of tissue from the testicles, from which they will get sperm. I'll let him fill you in on this tomorrow more after he's actually had the procedure done...that is if his brain can function through the pain (kidding...I'm sure he'll be fine, he's a big, tough man!) Tuesday is my egg retrieval, and I'll continue on the Medrol and Zithromax the day of and day after the egg retrieval. Additionally, the day after the egg retrieval (Wednesday) I'll start Progestrone injections, and continue with those until they tell me to stop (sometime after the pregnancy test...on Feb 22). Sunday, February 13, will be the big day. The day they transfer 1 or 2 (we haven't quite decided yet, but I think 2) embryos back into my uterus. The day we've been working for. I am so excited I can barely contain myself!! We then have to wait 9 (LONG) days until the pregnancy test on February 22.

I am just excited to have dates. For a planner and someone that loves to know what is happening when, dates and a timeline are crucial. All that said, there's still a lot of uncertainty. You never know how your body is going to do, and there is a small chance that I might be faced with something called OHSS - where your ovaries are over-stimulated, and you have to give your body time between the retrieval and the transfer, so we'd have to wait a month. I'm hopeful we don't have to worry about this, but you never know (especially with as many follicles as I have going, 25++). We will know tomorrow after a blood test (testing my Estrogen levels) whether or not we'll be able to transfer the embryos on Sunday for sure or not.

For a big stress ball like me, weeks like this week are exciting, but also nerve-wracking. I have found a TON of comfort in the song Our God by Chris Tomlin. I have found a lot of peace in these lyrics: "Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.

Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God! And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us. And if our God is with us, then what could stand against." (You can check out the song below).

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers! We'll keep you posted all week with the latest happenings!

An Update from Clinic - It's Crunch Time

Yesterday, I had clinic for the first time since I got out of the hospital in mid-September. They'd like me to come to clinic more often, but with the frequency that I do clinical drug trials, I always have a pretty good idea of where I stand PFT wise. I don't know about all of you, but that's definitely the part I always look forward to come clinic time. I must add however that I'm certainly not doing what's best for me or best for my clinic. It's obviously a better situation if they're able to track me more closely and if you want to get down to the nuts and bolts of it - it's better for the center. Every CF clinic relies on outside funding to stay afloat, so the more patients they treat, the more money they get. If I'm not going to clinic, I'm not getting counted, therefore they don't get all of the money they deserve (do you see where this is going?). If they don't get the money they deserve, it not only affects me, but all of my great friends, including the doctors, at my clinic. Get it? Got it? Good!

As promised, I showed up to clinic yesterday looking forward to what they had to say. I've been off of my game for quite some time now because of all of the bleeding, so it's always a touchy situation heading in to see the docs in that condition. Like I told them, it's not that I feel terrible, it's that I haven't been able to "do me" for almost 3 weeks now. By that I mean I haven't been able to be as active and workout like I'm used to and it can obviously catch up in a fairly short time. I saw them 2 weeks ago (at a drug trial) and expressed to them that other than coughing up blood, I felt pretty darn good. I wasn't very tight, my cough was stable, my mucus was clear and my energy was up. Yesterday I had to report that the blood is still an issue and now the 3 weeks of not working out is starting to catch up to me. I find myself tighter than usual. My mucus is becoming thicker. My cough is deeper, yet it's harder to move the gunk out. The sucky part is, I don't feel it's a result of CF as much as it's a result of me not being able to keep CF in check. And that is very frustrating.

I'm a "let's solve the problem" kind of a guy instead of sit around and talk about it. This happens to translate very well to my CF life as I'm able to look back on the past and pick out stuff that's worked for me health wise and stuff that hasn't. Once I identify what works, I don't go on and on about what I should be doing or what I wish I would have done, I strap up my boots and I go for it. Right now, I find myself in a situation that I can't "go for it" and it pisses me off. My bleeding has become so frequent that I'm not able to do full strength Vest treatments. When I bleed, I stop Pulmozyme for a bit and I stay off 7%. Exercising is out of the questions. Do you see how this can be a problem? Talk about a better way to feel worse! Believe me, this is it.

Some of you are probably saying, "well, why don't you get your butt into the hospital then???". To you I say, you guys are 100% correct. I present myself as a no-excuses kind of a guy and I feel like a hypocrite for putting it off. But part of who I am is to be open and honest with this blog and use it as a way to hold myself accountable. An even bigger part of that is acknowledging when I'm going against my own advice and call myself out on it. So that's exactly what I'm doing. Let me be loud and clear, I should be going into the hospital and nipping this whole thing in the bud. I should put my health before all other things I have going on, because without my health, I have no other things. I should stop, listen to my body, and take care of this bleeding issue so I can get back on the road to booty kicking.

With all of that said, let me tell you why my hospital stay is being delayed. I want to be a daddy. Mandi and I have been going through the IVF process for a good two months now and it's getting into crunch time. "My part" is coming up in the next 10 days and I have to be available when I get the call. Depending on how Mandi's body responds to those big old shots we started giving her, I could be called for my sample anytime between February 5th to February 10th. It's kind of hard for them to take my baby batter out (if you were unclear) up here in Phoenix if I'm down in the hospital in Tucson. And even more important to me than that, 6 days after they get my sperm, they will be implanting an embryo into my wife. Every piece of my being wants to be there for her on our special day. I realize that the creation of our family is very unorthodox and it's not just a matter of a bottle of brandy and a hot tub, therefore, I want to be as much a part of this as possible. Make sense? Maybe not to you, but I know to us it's very important.

So there you have it, an update from clinic. As always, could be better, but it could be worse. I'd love it if you guys could keep us in your prayers for the next few weeks. Please pray that my bleeding lessens and that my health holds up until I can get into the Hole. Also, please pray that the rest of this IVF process goes smoothly and, God willing, we're able to start our family. Thank you guys so much for your support, your prayers and the continued reading of this blog.

The Beginning of the End

Yesterday was an exciting day! It was the first day of my HMG (stimulant) drug for our IVF cycle. I have been solely on Lupron (a drug used to put my body into "menopause" to shut it down and give it time to rest) since December 24th. I decreased my Lupron from 20 units, to 10 units on Friday, and I will continue on the 10 units all the way through the retrieval. The reason for staying on a low dose of Lupron during the stimulation of the ovaries is to keep me slightly suppressed, so my body doesn't ovulate on its own - we want to snatch up the eggs before I ovulate. So today I started my HMG injections, and man was I scared to start them. My Lupron is given in a dinky, tiny little needle in my belly, and is a piece of cake. However, I was dreading the HMG injections because they're intramuscular injections (meaning they need to be given into the muscle...which means a long, big ol' needle). I have done a lot of reading online about the whole IVF process, and many people complain about these shots. I was so nervous about starting these injections on Sunday morning, that I even had a little trouble sleeping on Saturday night. Part of me was nervous about the possible pain of the shot, but part of it was just being afraid that I'd over sleep (I have to give myself the shots between 7 and 8 am). I'm sure many of your are thinking, "you're a big weeny...it's just a shot." And to you guys I will say this, "you sound like my husband!" Ronnie has been telling me to stop psyching myself out - he knows my little mind gets me into a tizzy from time to time! And while I was nervous, it was an exciting day because it feels like it's the beginning of the end of this IVF cycle. It was over a month of injections, but we were at a holding pattern. These shots are getting my ovaries to start doing what they need to do, and within 12 days, we should have a bunch of eggs to fertilize...5 days after that we'll be putting embryo(s) back :)

All that said, check out the videos to see how my first shot went. You can see (and hear) my nervousness and uncertainty during the first video, and then you can two videos of the actual shot (that's right, we did TWO camera angles - professional huh?) - one is of my face while Ronnie gave the shot, the other is of the injection site.

I'll be on the HMG shots for 8-12 days - until my eggs are mature and ready to be taken. We have our first ultrasound to see how the eggs are looking on Thursday. We'll update you then! Please keep our process in your prayers!

Updates from the Couch Potato

I figured I'd give a little update about what crazy things we've been up to.

(Silence. Crickets.)

That's how eventful things have been around here, and it's been AWESOME! This last week has consisted of work, working out and watching TV.

The highlight for me has been our workouts. It's been really nice to be back in the gym consistently, and actually WANT to work out. I've found that the last few weeks I've actually been eager to wrap up my work day so I could go get a workout in. Even better, most days we've done cardio I haven't been eager to be done. I think my new energy for working out is two-fold: 1. It's different. We've been so focused on running for the last several months, and the change of pace (elliptical, stairs, treadmill) has been nice. I find that if I'm sick of working out, if I just switch it up a bit, it becomes fun again. 2. I want to get into great shape before we're pregnant. I (POSSIBLY, with a capital P-O-S-S-I-B-L-Y) only have another month or so before I'm pregnant, and I want to start off the pregnancy in good shape, so I can hopefully remain very active! Sitting on my bum for 10 months sounds like a recipe for boredom and a whole lot of jiggle, so my goal is to work out as hard/much as my doctor thinks is appropriate!

This weekend consisted of a lot more relaxation (for me). Ronnie was in Stony Brook, NY to speak at a CF Education Day (was anyone reading this blog there??) so his weekend was busy, but I just held down the fort. Friday night I had a friend come spend the night (slumber party, what what!) We went to a movie (No Strings Attached - Love Natalie Portman, but it was a little crude for my comfort...the sex scenes were just awkward and the cussing and crude jokes were unnecessary). We then just sat on the couch and talked until we fell asleep. I was really nice to catch up. Saturday was full of more nothingness. We went shopping in the AM - we actually went to hike a mountain near by, but it was so packed that you couldn't get parking, so we decided we'd just shop instead!) The best thing about the shopping trip was that I actually bought something (good for me, bad for the savings account). Typically I just window shop. I'll even go as far as trying something on, but then talk myself out of it by saying something like, "I don't need another pair of black shoes." But I bought a pair of gray Converse, and they're awesome! After the mall, I rode my bike to the gym and got in a solid workout. That was the last of my activity for the day. I sat on the couch from 4pm until the Sunday morning (I even slept there). It is glorious. I watched TV and played Scrabble online (against Ronnie while he was doing his treatments in his hotel room in NY). It felt really nice to just regenerate! Sunday consisted of church, a nap, and then I went and picked up Ronnie. Let me tell you - I sure missed him. Isn't that stupid? He was gone for only 2 days and I missed him! I was so excited on my way to the airport to pick him up. We headed for a nice little happy hour (because Ronnie only eats out when the food is 1/2 price) and came home to (you can guess it) watch more TV. I think the couch may have a permanent butt indent after this weekend.

It was an uneventful, relaxing weekend (for me...I think Ronnie's pretty wiped). One of those weekends you wish would happen more often! Leave us a little comment and let us know how your weekend went. Did you have a lazy weekend like mine? Or a busy one like Ronnie's? Did anyone get snowed in? (I kind of felt like I was, since I acted as if I couldn't leave the house!) Need help having a lazy weekend? I found this while searching for a picture for this blog. Really? There's an article about this?

PS - A quick IVF update: I start my stimulant med on Sunday (1/30) and will be on it for 8-12 days. Then it's time for Ronnie's biopsy, my egg retrieval and 5 days later, embryo transfer. Everything is moving along very smoothly and we'll post another update next week. Please keep the process in your prayers!

"That's Not Supposed to be There!"

Warning: Detailed account of our IVF process, including detailed descriptions of procedures done to check out my reproductive health. You may want to steer clear of this post if words like "uterus," "cervix," and "speculum" freak you out!

Our first cycle of IVF is moving along beautifully. We are now 2.5 weeks in, and so far, so good. When I last posted an update, we had had some blood work done, and had just started Lupron (the drug used to shut my body down for a month before ramping it up). The Lupron shots are a piece of cake and I've been able to give them to myself most days. A few days I have totally psyched myself out and not been able to actually stick the needle in, so I had to call in my reinforcement, Ronnie. It no longer leaves a red mark and rarely itches, so I guess my body is getting used to it. I'm on Lupron for another 2.5 weeks. The only other addition in my daily routine is that I've been taking prenatal vitamins. I've had very few side effects from either. Some say on Lupron you can get hot flashes, I haven't experienced any. The only issue I've had (and I'm not sure if it's from the Lupron or the prenatal vitamins) is I've not had much of an appetite and felt a little bit nauseous. Nothing horrible, just a little bit uneasy feeling and I feel hungry, but as soon as food hits my stomach, it feels full. Also, I was prescribed a z-pack to take the 2 days before, the day of, and 2 days after the diagnostic tests I'll talk about in a second...

While we assume I don't have any infertility problems, they still have to check everything out. So last week I went to have a few more diagnostic tests done, both tests are used to look at the uterus and make sure there aren't any issues in shape and check that there are no cysts or polyps. The first test I had done was a Sonohysterogram. This one was done in my infertility doc's office. I was a little nervous about it because I read that it can be uncomfortable, but it wasn't too bad. So here's how they do it:

To perform the procedure a device called a speculum is used to open the vagina and expose the cervix. The doctor cleans and sometimes numbs the cervix (I believe my doctor just cleaned). They clean with a little foam pad looking device and you can't really feel anything but a little pressure. Then the doc inserts a small tube through the cervix and into the uterus. For me, this was easier said then done, and the worst part of the whole thing. Turns out, I have a tough cervix to get through - maybe because I'm small, but mainly because I haven't had any kids. He tried to feed the tube through - which feels like you're being pinched/stabbed in your nother-regions - several times before deciding to use a dilator, a tool that allows them to slowly make the opening just big enough to then feed the tube through. **At this point, my doctor did something that was not part of the Sonohysterogram. He did what he refers to as a mock transfer. In which he measured the depth and angle of my uterus, two things that will help him know where to put the embryos during the transfer. Additionally, he made note of the trouble getting through my cervix, so the day of the transfer he can get through my cervix with ease, not disrupting everything. Now, back to the Sonohysterogram - The tube pumps a harmless, sterile saline solution into the uterus, which expands the uterus and makes it easier to see. Then, the doctor uses the ultrasound probe in the vagina to generate an image of the expanded uterus for a few minutes. This is where we ran into a little scare. The doctor had my uterus up on the screen and said, "Wow, that's not supposed to be there," pointing to a big blob attached to the inside of my uterus. He began telling us that it looks like it could be a cyst, which would mean surgery, but they first would try to "knock it loose" with the water they were filling me with. I just about lost it. I felt a lump in my throat forming, but tried to play it cool and wait to see if they could knock it off. Luckily, after a few blasts of water, the blob just disappeared, like magic. He was very shocked, but please and confident that it was just left over tissue from my last period, so we were back on track. He took a few pictures of my uterus and after examining the image of the uterus, he removed the probe, and the saline solution drained...and drained...and drained from the uterus. They are nice enough to give you a GIANT pad (we're talking practically a diaper) to wear home to keep your car from turning into a slip and slide. All in all, it was an easy procedure, the scare of the cyst was just a scare, and the worst part was getting in through Fort Knox, I mean my cervix.

The next procedure that I had done last week was a Hysterosalphingogram, which was done at a medical imagine center. This is much like the Sonohysterogram, but instead of water, this time it's contrast and you're on what looks like a giant xray table. Once filled with liquid, they pulled this GIANT machine over my tummy, and looked at my uterus, ovaries and tubes on a screen - just like a sonogram would look, but instead of being transvaginal this time, it was over-top of me. This was pretty incredible, you could actually see my uterus, tubes and ovaries clear as day. They pumped the liquid into the uterus and watch it to make sure it fills the tubes and the ovaries, this checks for any blockages in the tubes, etc. Again, this one was quick, and relatively painless.

Both tests weren't bad, just gave me some cramping (which felt much like menstrual cramps.) We were pleased to find out that everything checked out perfectly and that we're still on track for an end of January egg fest :)

We have our next appointment on January 17th for an Ultrasound, physical exam and PreART consult with the RN. We'll update after that! Keep the process in your prayers! So far, so good!