Friday, December 30, 2011

Teenagers and Cystic Fibrosis

Question: My 15 yr old granddaughter. She has rebelled at times on treatments.Drs say it is age she will get better as she gets older. Were you always as good about it? Any feed back on this will help.




The doctors are correct in saying that it will get better with age. Teenagers in general are rebellious with or without CF. CF only exacerbates the problem as there is nothing more important in a teen's life than status and friends. Having CF and doing treatments can unfortunately at times interfere with these two things. I'm guessing that she has said more than once "I just want to be like my friends," or "I hate CF". Both of these are very common and very valid responses to having CF as a teenager. What she's going through is tough and is not at all fun.
What we must realize however that, "being like our friends", includes having the ability to do what they do. Whether we like it or not, this is made possible by our health. Not being at a good place with our health inhibits our ability to just be "one of the guys" (or in this case girls), but it's hard to see that as a teen.
We often think about treatments as a means to an end when we're sick. I encourage people to think about treatments as a means to an end when we're healthy. What I mean is this - we must be willing to do everything necessary when we're healthy to put ourselves in the best position not to be sick. Treatments need not be a response to sickness, but used in conjunction with wellness.
I use the analogy of a scale. On one side we have someone "sick" with CF and on one side we have someone "healthy" with CF. Now, if you had a rock that represented doing treatments, which side of the scale would you put the rock? Who do we as a community instinctively think about as "doing more treatments" than the other person? I would put forth that most of us would put the rock on the side of the scale with the sick CFer. This certainly isn't true for everyone, but from my experience, that would be my hunch. Now, each one of us must answer why we put the rock where we did and that will generally tell us about our view of CF, control and treatments.
As for me, I put the rock on the side of the healthy CFer. When I was a teen? Not so much. I thought only "sick people" did a bunch of treatments. Granted, I was doing two a day, but it was rarely willingly and not something that I looked forward to. In many ways, I fell into the trap of being "too healthy" with CF. See, in high school; my FEV1% was around 110. I felt and acted just like everyone else. The only time I thought about CF was during said treatment times and when I required a hospital stay due to an exacerbation (about twice a year). Apart from those times, CF never entered my mind. I felt some relief from my treatments, but I didn't feel THAT much.
What really made my lungs feel like a hundred bucks was football practice, or any other physical activity like basketball, baseball, running etc. That's another thing to point out - until I started playing sports year round, my FEV1% was nowhere near that 110% that I mentioned earlier. So in essence, I was doing a ton of treatments, 2-3 hours per day to be exact, just not the traditional treatments (nebs, vest) that we think about. I was doing additional treatments in the form of sports and exercise. To this day, nothing makes me cough more or produce more mucus than running, be it on the treadmill, street or football field.
My family supported me in many ways regarding treatments and CF care. I think a lot of the credit has to go to my mom for being quite possibly the biggest reason that I took such good care of myself growing up. She had quite a “unique” strategy – My house, my rules (I’m of course kidding when I say that it was unique). One thing I’ll say however is she delivered this strategy with complete love. I never doubted for a second that I, and in turn my health, was the single most important thing to my mom when I was growing up. I was an only child for quite some time, so my mom was able to focus all of her energy and time on making sure she did everything necessary to put me in the best position to succeed. This included running me around to practice, supporting me when I wanted to try a new sport and most of all, holding her line when it came to treatments. 
Here’s the deal though, she balanced that with great freedom. I had a very normal childhood. I could do just about anything I wanted to do in terms of sleepovers, extra curricular activities, etc AS LONG AS my treatments were done. And when I stepped out of line, she didn’t waffle or give me another chance; I faced consequences for not following the rules. She only had to keep me out of football practice one time to show me she was serious after I chose to rebel against treatments that particular morning.
All teens have something important to them. All parents find their children, including teens believe it or not, important. In my opinion, effective parents mesh what’s important to them with what’s important to their teen. There is one key thing to remember though – one is the parent and one is the teen. In a perfect scenario the parent and the teen can come to a mutual agreement about treatments and expectations. But, and this is a big but, perfect scenarios aren’t the majority. At some point, the parent must decide what’s more important to them, a perfect scenario or their teen doing his or her treatments.
There is hardly a fool-proof strategy when it comes to convincing teens that treatments are important or implementing a system that results in few missed treatments, there is however a great reward for parents, and teens, that manage to do so.

Comments (13)

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Traci Johnson's avatar

Traci Johnson · 692 weeks ago

I love this line, "And when I stepped out of line, she didn’t waffle or give me another chance; I faced consequences for not following the rules." So many parents don't want to give their kids consequences or rules and it seems that these days, the kids are running the household instead of the parents. It makes me very sad because kids want and need discipline and it often defines the kinds of adults they grow into. Good for your Mom and for you for learning the lessons quickly (most of the time anyway, LOL).
1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
Kids actually thrive with rules and follow-through. Kids can develop a very low self-esteem if they can't be controlled. They can think "Man, if the most powerful person I know can't control me, who can? I must be a very bad person."
I never experienced my daughter being rebellious. It just was a way of life for all of us. You get up in the morning and we do the exercises to keep your lungs as clear as can be. We were a sports minded family and believed in good nutrition. I think if parents teach their children and guide them in the right direction and keep the lines of communication open, it all works out. My daughter will be 40 at the end of Jan. and has been married for 14 years. She has a loving understanding husband and she would never think of not doing everything there is to do to keep herself as healthy as possible.

Parents have to be parents and make sure the child understands the consequences in not taking care of themselves. It's not always an easy task, but by keeping the child on a routine, no ifs or buts, it will teach the child how to take care of themselves when they are on their own. I always told my daughter that she has to try to keep herself as healthy as possible so when the cure comes she will be a good candidate to benefit from it.
1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
Couldn't agree more Donna!
This is a great post! Can you do me a favor and schedule this to repost in 10 years when Lil Chris will be a teen ;)
1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
Better yet, I'll give him a call in 10 years :)
Sounds good to me! :) I would Love that and so would he!
Rebecca Cedillo's avatar

Rebecca Cedillo · 692 weeks ago

Honestly, I was never compliant with treatments....I'm 22 now and try so hard to get at least 2 treatments in per day, and I've been doing pretty good at it. When I was younger and in high school it was the last thing I wanted to do. Not because I was different, or sick, but simply because I didn't want to sit somewhere for nearly two hours and have to do that. People always think that just because you have a disease that results in death you have some sort of internal NEED to do the medicine, yes my body physically needs it, but that was never enough motivation for me. I always get mad when people ASSUME that it's easy and that I shouldn't have a problem doing it, but I guarantee you that if anyone who didn't have the disease was diagnosed, they'd struggle too. It isn't easy, no one said it would be. I have been so blessed to be this healthy, with my FEV sitting at 118 currently, and only 4 hospitalizations in my entire life. I do regret arguing with my mom about doing treatments, because I see the stress I ensued upon her, and I realize she deserved so much more from me. She has always tried, but it took me, on my own, to do them. I always knew that someday I would have a family and I want to be as healthy as I can be when that day comes, which is why I do them to the best of my abilities now. I have a portable nebulizer and if I'm running late, I'll do a treatment with a mask while driving to work. It's easy. I run at least 4 miles a day, and feel like I'm normal. But when I miss two treatments in a row, I definitely feel a difference. I would suggest just being patient, and providing positive reinforcement. When I did comply, my mom would treat me to a recreation pass to also motivate me to exercise, and other things like a day at the mall with her, or something special that isn't necessarily materialistic. I thank God each day that I have this disease, because without it, I wouldn't be half the person I am.
1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
Totally know what you're saying. It's the same thing with exercise. Every non-CFer (and CFer) knows the benefits of exercise has been proven over and over again, yet hardly anyone puts in the effort. It's one thing to know something is good for us, it's another thing to put in the effort!
I went through the same thing and it does get better. With my story, I wasn't diagnosed until age 15 so it was a completely different life for me and my family. After high school, I hit a stage where I thought, " I might as well live it up. My life is already half over and I can never be a mom like I've always dreamed". Now at age 35, I get 3 neb treatments a day and am trying my best to keep my FEV1 near the 50% range. I have proven the docs wrong time and time again. It's kind of a goal for me I guess. Did I mention that I also have 2 beautiful and healthy girls?!
1 reply · active 692 weeks ago
Sounds like you could relate a lot to this girl then!! I can totally see how a later diagnosis could be rough. Sounds like you're living the dream however and that is SO GOOD to hear!!!
Piper Burch's avatar

Piper Burch · 690 weeks ago

thank you for this post! I have a 14 year old daughter that "hates cf" - we are working so hard on the exercising part to enhance all of her treatments!

Again, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us - CF journey and life journey!!
1 reply · active 690 weeks ago
CF is definitely not an easy thing to love :)

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