Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Treatment Fights

Here's another great question by a momma in the community. This one is of course VERY common and a struggle that nearly every parent faces. If you don't face it now, more likely than not, you will in the future. Hopefully this helps at least just a little bit.

Thank you ronnie for taken the time to get back to me .Well here it is how did your mother dill with you not taken your medication ,and treatment and when did the crying stop and when did she move on and let you do it on your own ? there is some days i just want to give up and move on with my life ,but he is my life and well your a father you no that your child is your world what are you going to do if they not here ? Hope that doesn't happen but he isn't do the thing he needs to do . And on the idea's i would love to help the next child with cf get it that they need to do they treatments and medication before it to later thats all ,if i could make a different in someone , help them understand that they mother is doing what is best for them .Thank you so much for taken the time to talk with me.

My mom instilled rules and stuck to them at a very early age. I literally had no other choice but to do my treatments. My life really sucked when I refused to do them. After a couple times of my life sucking, I decided that it wasn't worth fighting.

He lives with you right? The only thing you owe him as a mom is food, shelter and clothing. Everything else is a privilege and not a right. If I remember correctly, he plays video games? Well I can assure you that there would have been no video game playing in my mom's house if I didn't do my treatments. If she caught me sneaking them in at night, she would have cut the power cord. 

In fact, I've told a story many times that has to do with just that - treatments and video games. I was feeling brave one day and I refused to do my treatments. I was "too busy" playing video games with my friends. My mom had just the solution. She walked to the kitchen drawer, pulled out a pair of scissors, came into my room, picked up the power cord to my gaming system, and proceeded to cut the cord (or so I thought). Obviously it got my attention and I believed 100% that she was going to do it. From then on, I remember much fewer fights over treatments :)

As a parent, you have to be willing to endure short-term pain, for long-term reward. He'll say all sorts of nasty things to you now that you're trying to put your foot down, but I assure you, deep down, he's knows it's out of love. In the long run, it's much more mean to your child NOT to demand treatments. You need to be the voice of reason - through force or love or both - when we're being unreasonable. Refusing to do something that will in fact improve and extend our lives is totally unreasonable.

My mom let go when I moved out of the house as I was no longer her responsibility. Did she still love me? Of course! But at some point she had to let this little bird fly free and make my own stupid decisions. There was no time more perfect than when I moved out and became "a man". Other parents may feel the time is sooner however and each family needs to decide what works for them and their family.

I can tell you this though, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart - Parents of CFers have ONE job as it relates to CF; You must make us do our treatments come hell or high water.