Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Why are American kids so spoiled??

I read a fantastic article the other day that I just had to share. I think that much of it can help parents out there of cysters and fibros, as well as kids in general. I won't share the entire article here, but I encourage you to click on the link provided and check it out. Come back here and tell me what you think!!


In 2004, Carolina Izquierdo, an anthropologist at the University of California, Los Angeles, spent several months with the Matsigenka, a tribe of about twelve thousand people who live in the Peruvian Amazon. The Matsigenka hunt for monkeys and parrots, grow yucca and bananas, and build houses that they roof with the leaves of a particular kind of palm tree, known as a kapashi. At one point, Izquierdo decided to accompany a local family on a leaf-gathering expedition down the Urubamba River. 
A member of another family, Yanira, asked if she could come along. Izquierdo and the others spent five days on the river. Although Yanira had no clear role in the group, she quickly found ways to make herself useful. Twice a day, she swept the sand off the sleeping mats, and she helped stack the kapashi leaves for transport back to the village. 
In the evening, she fished for crustaceans, which she cleaned, boiled, and served to the others. Calm and self-possessed, Yanira “asked for nothing,” Izquierdo later recalled. The girl’s behavior made a strong impression on the anthropologist because at the time of the trip Yanira was just six years old. 
While Izquierdo was doing field work among the Matsigenka, she was also involved in an anthropological study closer to home. A colleague of hers, Elinor Ochs, had recruited thirty-two middle-class families for a study of life in twenty-first-century Los Angeles. Ochs had arranged to have the families filmed as they ate, fought, made up, and did the dishes. 
Izquierdo and Ochs shared an interest in many ethnographic issues, including child rearing. How did parents in different cultures train young people to assume adult responsibilities? In the case of the Angelenos, they mostly didn’t. In the L.A. families observed, no child routinely performed household chores without being instructed to. Often, the kids had to be begged to attempt the simplest tasks; often, they still refused. 
In one fairly typical encounter, a father asked his eight-year-old son five times to please go take a bath or a shower. After the fifth plea went unheeded, the father picked the boy up and carried him into the bathroom. A few minutes later, the kid, still unwashed, wandered into another room to play a video game. 
In another representative encounter, an eight-year-old girl sat down at the dining table. Finding that no silverware had been laid out for her, she demanded, “How am I supposed to eat?” Although the girl clearly knew where the silverware was kept, her father got up to get it for her. 
In a third episode captured on tape, a boy named Ben was supposed to leave the house with his parents. But he couldn’t get his feet into his sneakers, because the laces were tied. He handed one of the shoes to his father: “Untie it!” His father suggested that he ask nicely. 
“Can you untie it?” Ben replied. After more back-and-forth, his father untied Ben’s sneakers. Ben put them on, then asked his father to retie them. “You tie your shoes and let’s go,’’ his father finally exploded. Ben was unfazed. “I’m just asking,’’ he said. 
A few years ago, Izquierdo and Ochs wrote an article for Ethos, the journal of the Society of Psychological Anthropology, in which they described Yanira’s conduct during the trip down the river and Ben’s exchange with his dad. “Juxtaposition of these developmental stories begs for an account of responsibility in childhood,” they wrote. 
Why do Matsigenka children “help their families at home more than L.A. children?” And “Why do L.A. adult family members help their children at home more than do Matsigenka?” Though not phrased in exactly such terms, questions like these are being asked—silently, imploringly, despairingly—every single day by parents from Anchorage to Miami. Why, why, why?


Read more http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2012/07/02/120702crbo_books_kolbert#ixzz20HL8u4Wk


So what do you guys think, does this researcher have a point? Have you seen this in your own upbringing or the upbringing of others?

Comments (2)

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Great article!! I think its hard to compare the two. The economic circumstances are different. In the Peruvian Amazonian tribe the way that life has unfolded is that the parents and children work side by side on a daily basis. The children are witnessing the parents providing sustenance for not only the family, but the community. The communal way of life varies from the way Americans live. For instance, Alejandro (our 6 year old) knows that his parents go to work to "provide for the home" but has no idea of what tactical duties or more get executed by that parent. The child is not witness. The 6 year old in the article witnesses a lot of "doing" therefore I believe that it might be without much thought that she picks up the broom and sweeps. In our home, Alejandro, without being asked, makes his bed because he sees us make ours every day, takes his plate to the kitchen, because he sees us do the same, puts dirty clothing in the hamper, as we do. I will acquiesce that he is 6 with an ipad, a DS and expensive things. Many think he is spoiled. He would never say no or second think something we ask of him. We never ask him to do something we wouldn't do or EVER use the phrase "because I said so." We are a values driven home. I do believe American children are spoiled. I think parental guilt is rampant. In the US, whether you work 50 hours a week at a convenience store or are an executive and a fortune 500 company, we spend 50-60 hours apart from our children each week. I believe this adds to the whole "let me buy you something to make up for my absence" mentality. These are just some of my initial thoughts. I wonder if it is possible for Americans to live as non materially as the Amazon tribe. Great article and as a parent it is definitely something I appreciated reading and will think a whole lot more on...
1 reply · active 664 weeks ago
Those are some very, very good points. I guess the question then becomes - are American parents modeling less and less expected behavior?

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