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The hospital is one of those "necessary evils" in life. I use that term loosely as I don't think for one second the Hole is an evil place, but nevertheless, it is necessary for me and it isn't the opposite of evil :) Fortunately for me, I've always been able to look to the other side of my hospital stays. I tend to be a "live in the moment" kind of a guy, but not in the hospital. In there, I'm looking towards the future and it always looks sunny. I focus on the energy that I'll have when I get out. I'll start making plans for change for when I get home. I know that I'll have more spunk behind the workouts that keep me out of there.
And I think most importantly, the only time I look into the past, is to learn lessons from it and apply it to my present for a better future.
It's not always easy. Not being able to pass Mckenna off to Mandi before she goes "night-night" is gut wrenching. Snuggling with a hospital issued pillow instead of my wife, in a word, sucks. But, I can tell you what would suck even more - Not being here to do either...forever.
I truly believe that the hospital stays put me in the best position to succeed. Success to me in this life is two-fold - LIVING an incredibly active and loving life with my family for as long as possible and raising Mckenna in such a way that her walk with Christ is so strong, that mine pales in comparison. If I can say those two things when God wants me Home, it will undoubtedly be a success.
For me, it's simple. Putting my health as my number 1 priority is the ONLY way I'll find success in this life. Even at times when it calls for me to put my family in a distant second place, I need to stay focused. I need to see the "end game" and not the game. Focusing on the game would make me go crazy in the Hole.
My only chance at success is to focus on my God, my health and my family. The hospital always seems to make the focus more clear and for that I am so, so grateful.
