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My Mother's Day yesterday was interesting...hence the question mark in my title. Mckenna was in a funk...all...day...long. Well that's not entirely true, she was pretty good a lot of the day, but when she was in a funk, she was MAJORLY in a funk. She had a fit unlike any I have ever seen from her. You know the type, where when you're done dealing with it, you start crying yourself (or am I the only one? Boy, that's embarrassing...I'll blame it on all the hormones I've been juiced up on since November). I will say, it was a little sweet though because when she saw I had started crying, she stared at my face, reached up and put a hand on my cheek and planted a HUGE kiss on me. She knew she had made me sad, and it made her sad, which left me relieved that she wasn't in fact the spawn of satan like her fit would have led you to believe. I was really bummed and really frustrated all of yesterday. But as I laid in bed last night and thought back on the day, I wasn't quite sure why. Had she really been that much worse than a normal day? Was she really in that much of a funk? Or was it me? Was it that it was Mother's Day and I thought somehow she should have known and been an angel?
I think the actual problem was my expectation verses reality. I think that's always my problem, actually. If you remember, she was AWFUL on her birthday. Was it that she was that bad or was it that it was her first birthday and I pictured she should know it had to be all rainbows and butterflies? I think sometimes I build up how I think things should be or expect others to know my expectations, and then let myself get upset when it doesn't go as it did in my mind. Logical? Nope! Rational? Not at all. But I'm sure I'm not the only one that does this, right? I mean, how silly to think a 18 month old knows it's Mother's Day and that she should be on her best behavior?! I think it's silly to think an 8 or 18 year old should know that...especially if I haven't communicated my expectations clearly to them. I think I need to stop building up in my mind how I think things should go, and let them happen as they will. Sure would save me a lot of frustration.
I will say, with the exception of yesterday (and perhaps what wasn't such a bad kid but a bad mental state on my part), Mckenna has made this hospital stay a breeze. It's a lot of change for her too, but she's taken it in stride. She's been a great listener, happy, relatively content, and kept the fits to a minimum...or at least made them short and recovered quickly (which is all I expect and appreciate). The best thing I've taught her in a long time was to say "okay". It's been a lifesaver. "We are going to get in our stroller now....Say 'okay'!"...."otay" she chimes back. It's just enough of a distraction that she doesn't fight me on much because she's too focused on saying "otay" back to me. That may wear off soon, but for now, it's the best thing since sliced bread!
I realize this blog rambled and really didn't have a point...buuuut for those of you that know me well, you're likely not surprised! Happy (day after) Mother's Day!
