We decided to just take a month off. It feels great to not be on any meds. I feel like myself again. It feels so nice to not have the emotions of a crazy lady, control over my body, and to just not worry about what medication and procedure I have when. My time off has felt incredibly freeing to be honest. Almost like a summer vacation. That's how I know we made the right choice for our family.
A month off sounds like nothing, yet it sounds like a lot all at the same time. When you want and crave to be pregnant again. When you want so badly to have another baby, a month sounds like an eternity to postpone it. It feels like you are putting your dreams on hold, forever. You think about the due date. You think about how 5 more weeks will feel, waiting. You hate putting off the unknown for another month. You think to yourself, "well, if we take a month off, and next time doesn't work, then we're looking at another potentially 4 months before we are pregnant...4 months?!" And I can tell you, if 1 month feels like a long time...4 months is BRUTAL. It's a total mind game. 1 month sounds like an eternity to wait to start your next chance at your dreams.
But at the same time, 1 month is so short. In the big picture of life, 1 month is nothing. I know this. Mentally I know this. When the kid(s) is 15, will I remember this month? Will I care about this month? Probably not. And I know that. So we went ahead with the decision to take a month off.
And what's crazy, is the month off is almost over...Where did the time go? It sure didn't feel like an eternity once we got into it.
Our month off is almost over. And we will be diving back in with both feet. I feel really rejuvenated. Refreshed. I'm ready to take on this next cycle. We will share details at some point. It will be another long protocol of meds, so we have a ways to go. We aren't yet sure when/how we plan to share all the details. But please keep the process in your prayers. Pray for patience (for me) and pray that God provides us with exactly what He has planned for our family.