Unfortunately the draw confirmed what we had thought, my numbers went back to zero, which means we lost the pregnancy. We are sad, but usually numbers that dip and rise again are, most commonly a symptom of an ectopic pregnancy, so being no longer pregnant sure beats that alternative.
We grieved the loss on Thursday and Friday. I felt downright angry, until I decided to trust God and choose to focus my energy over the weekend enjoying the blessing I had already been given (Mckenna) instead of mourning the blessing I was losing. So since we knew how this would likely end, the news today didn't come with the same sting. Instead it came with thankfulness that it was the best of the two likely scenarios and thankfulness that it's happening now and not in weeks to come. If ever there's a time to have a pregnancy end (in my opinion, maybe not for everyone) it's now and not after we've seen them on an ultrasound, assumed we would hold them in our arms, etc. So I am thankful that if we won't get to hold this baby (these babies) at the end of this pregnancy, that it unfolded this way.
We are also moving forward with hopeful hearts. We have frozen embryos from this last retrieval (I will post a whole blog on that in days to come), so we will move forward with another cycle when my body is ready. I will stop meds and "Aunt Flo" will come to visit, and then after that, whenever my ovaries go back to their normal size (one is still quite large from the retrieval), I will start meds for a frozen transfer.
Thank you so much for going on this journey with us and all of your prayers.
- God's love and peace continues to surround us during this time.