The First Time My Son Died

Note from Ronnie: This is an email my mom sent to me regarding "the time I died". When she wrote it, she wasn't aware that it was going to be posted on the blog. I got her permission to share it with you guys and I think it's a real and raw account of what she was feeling during this event. To read about the account from my eyes please go to Part One and Part Two of "The First Time I Died".

Just because I thought I would share a bit of history...

First...you must remember, that your near death experience happened before you met every top person with any official title at UMC and before you became UMC CF "famous." When you enter ER now and you pretty much have someone sneaking you in the back door for fast service.

I realize our memories of this particular event will be different because you were laying on a gurney slowly being pickled by dehydration and I was trying to remain calm in a very anxious state of mind. I have spotty recollection of the entire event, but yet some parts are still so vivid.

My first memory is of a nurse asking me why you took so much medication? I believe I told her at least three times, "because he has Cystic Fibrosis." She was also amazed at all the information on you in the hospital computer. When I finally made it to a male triage nurse I desperately tried to explain CF, that dehydration was serious to a CFer and that could someone please at least start IV fluids. I pleaded several times to the male triage nurse, but it was like running into a brick wall. I called everyone I could think of...on-call peds pulm, 3 NE nurses station, one of the CF docs, etc. Bobby and I even discussed rolling you out into the ER parking lot and calling 911. At some point there was a phone call for me at the ER desk (I think it was a football coach checking on you) and in front of the male triage nurse I said, "It's not good, he can no longer feel the lower part of his body." Bam...within a minute you were in an ER room!

You weren't in good shape and I can't remember if you had even seen anyone medical yet, when things started going south. I had never witnessed anything like this and it was horrifying to watch. You started to breath really shallow and all the sudden your chest was literally heaving up and down on the gurney. I ran out of the room and the first person I saw was your 'angel doctor in the pink clogs'. She had treated you before and all I had to say was, "Ronnie isn't breathing right." She was in that room faster then a bolt of lightening. She was screaming your name, hitting all the emergency buttons, and then you stopped breathing. I can remember her digging her fist into your upper chest so hard that I thought she'd break something. As medical personnel were running from several directions, carts racing down the hallway, you started breathing again only to stop breathing. I saw the paddles on your chest and stepped out of the room.

I have no memory of what I was thinking as I stood outside the door. A doctor was stroking my arms up and down and telling me to breath. I know you started breathing again without getting zapped. Minutes later I hear your voice say, "tell my mom I'm okay." That is when I slid down the wall and just sat on the floor. It wasn't long and what seemed to be a 'very important lady' appeared and talked to me. I don't remember her exact conversation, but had thoughts that she seemed troubled and worried. My part of the conversation was repeating several times... clearly, "The nurses wouldn't listen. If only they had listened." and "They didn't even know what CF was."

I'm not sure why, but this last memory still puts a half smile on my face. Because you had stopped breathing you had to have an EKG. Who do you think was sent into the room to hook you up to the electrodes and the little ticker tape? Yep...the male triage nurse.

To make a long story short...Thank God you're alive and thank God for 'angel doctors in pink clogs'!!!!!

Love you,
Mom

I encourage you to share your thoughts with my mom as I will make sure she reads the comments that are left for her. I'm trying to convince her to write a couple of posts for this blog and I'm sure any begging/pleading/nudging or comments of appreciation will help greatly. I know a lot of you would enjoy a CF Life from a mother's perspective.

Thanks so much guys!