Not Every Run is a "Good" Run

I don't want to mislead you by the title of this blog and make you think that I'm going to be negative Nancy with this post, but I'm hoping that my pain today can is some way encourage you. Wait, don't go anywhere, let me explain. This past week, my runs have been going very well. I've been able to easily run my required time of 30 minutes and generally felt like I could continue on towards the end. In fact, my last two runs consisted of 34 and 38 minutes. The 38 minute run was a VERY good day in which I'm pretty sure I could have pushed to 45, but I had somewhere to be that night. I can tell you one thing about today though, it certainly wasn't last week.

Not even close. First, let me just say that I've felt a little off the last few days and I'm really not sure why. Not mentally off or anything like that, just kind of "CF off" is probably the best way to put it. Know what I mean? I'm a little more tired. My lungs feel a little tighter than normal. My mucus seems to be more like super glue than like flem. I'm a little achy. So yeah, I've been "CF off". Well it all kind of came to a head today during my run. And of all of the days for this to happen, today is probably not the one I would have picked.

I had a reporter and a photo journalist following me most of the day for a story due to come out in the Arizona Daily Star later this week. They literally sat with me as I did my treatments. Took my shower (no they didn't get any pictures). Worked on my computer and so on and so forth. We then parted ways for a bit, but then they met back up with me for my run. It was actually pretty awesome. The camera man came dressed and ready to run with me! I was impressed that he was willing to go that extra mile (literally) to get some real life photos of me (Thanks James, that meant a lot).

Now, for the run. As I started running, I have a feeling that I may have been trying to push my pace a little bit so I didn't look like a complete goober while James was trailing (or in front of) me taking my picture. Big mistake. I realized pretty early on what was happening so I tried to slow down my pace a bit. After what felt like an eternity, I glanced down at my watch to see how much longer of this 30 minutes of hell I had left. The watch read 10m28s. **GULP** I still had almost 20 MINUTES to go. That's when all my mind games really started to kick into over drive. There was no way I was going to be able to make it for another 20 minutes I thought.

By this time my legs were completely dead and felt like I was lugging around to logs. I was already coughing like crazy and my mucus felt like it was just sticking to the back of my throat. I had a stitch in my side that I just couldn't breath through. Pure (salt) sweat was dripping in my left eye blinding me to half of the road. I started to feel a bit faint. My right foot felt funny. I thought for sure I would stop breathing at any moment. And I had another 20 minutes of this? No way I could get this done.

Just about that time Mandi came from around the corner. She had run a different path so she could get in more miles. Following close behind Mandi and walking Jezzabel was my mom. When I first saw Mandi, I got my second wind. Seeing my mom gave me my third wind. See, they're big part of why I do this. I want to be here for Mandi. I want to be the man she deserves to have in her life forever. I don't want all of my mom's dedication in raising me to be a fighter to go to waste. And you know what else I thought of? You guys. You guys give me SO MUCH encouragement. You guys give me the opportunity to practice what I preach. If I could complete my run today, imagine what I can do when I start feeling better? I'm going to kill it!

There is a bigger point in all of this and this is it: I felt more satisfied today after my run than I have felt for any other run. So although it may not have been a "good" run, it had a great outcome. I felt very proud of what I accomplished today and it gave me some extra fuel to make it through the week. I can't say this enough: when you come across opportunities to push yourself, please, don't let them pass you by.