Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Are Most CFers "Strong-Willed"?

I wanted to share part of an email that some good friends of mine posted on their fantabulous blog the other day. I'm sure most of you know the Olimb family, but if you don't, you're missing out. Rachel and Jeremy are two of the kindest and warm-hearted people I know and they have an awesome little fibro named Asher. You can follow their journey at and I highly recommend that you do.

So here's the email that was on their blog describing a "strong-willed" child...

“Children who make decisions with intensity tend to be labeled “strong-willed.” At the end of the day, their parents feel as if they’ve been engaged in hand-to-hand combat—and that the child often wins at the parent’s expense! Most parents consider a strong will a negative personality trait because it often creates resistance and frustration in family life. Yet, in reality, it’s the strong-willed kids who are often better equipped to succeed, be creative, and face adversity.

Children with strong wills have the potential to become the next generation of leaders. They have their own ideas and plans. They know what they want. They’re persistent, confident, passionate, and determined to succeed at whatever they choose to do.

Leaders have an agenda, look for ways to incorporate others into their plans, and have a high need for control in life. Balanced with graciousness, leaders become a treasure because they make things happen, create organization out of chaos, and motivate people to action.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to raise a leader. These kids tend to have their own ways of doing things and like to tell other people (including their parents) what to do. A strong will keeps a child moving in a certain direction in spite of obstacles. Often these children need bigger barriers or tighter limits to teach them that those boundaries are firm.

Don’t be discouraged by the effort it takes to teach a strong-willed child which limits not to push. The strong-willed child accomplishes things in life, because the roadblocks that might hold others back are no match for this kid’s determination. Your job is to help him know the difference between obstacles to overcome and limits to live within.

A strong will can be an asset… as long as the heart is in the right place.”

Rachel actually sent me a message and said that she saw a lot of these qualities in Asher and was curious to know what I thought about my personality as a kid. I thought it none better to just go straight to the source and I emailed my mom about it. Her answer was short and sweet, but I think said all that it needed to: were a strong-willed child and the hardest part was teaching you "boundaries", "which limits not to push" and the "limits to live within." I lived in constant fear waiting for the next shoe to drop!

I found this pretty funny cause to be honest, I bet that if you would ask Mandi, she'd say that nothing much has changed. They say that most children develop their personality by 1st grade. I'm going to say that it's a pretty safe bet that I was no different.

So what do you think? Do most cysters and fibros you know exhibit "strong-willed" personalities?