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Wait!! Before you turn off your computer, close down this blog or throw-up on your keyboard, don't panic - I will not actually go into my thoughts on the baby making process. Well, at least not the baby making process that most of you are familiar with. Today, Mandi and I head off to the fertility doc (is that what you call them?) to go over all of our options and get some initial screening done. Mandi shared some of her thoughts heading into this appointment, so I figure I might as well share some of mine.- I'm excited. We're at the beginning of this whole journey and although I know it can be emotionally draining, I'm ready, and I'm excited. Here's the deal; I've been a "master" at managing expectations my whole life and I'm hoping that doesn't fail me during this process. I'm going into this expecting to create a child, BUT if that's not the end result, I'll be ok. I'll still end up with what I have now. A beautiful wife, a wonderful life and a crazy (in a good way) family that loves us unconditionally. The way I see it, we can't lose.
- I'm ready. From a very young age, I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a great husband (check - right Mandi?) and a great father. I'm as ready as I'll ever be to start the journey to great fatherness (sounded good at the time). Mandi and I have discussed this many of times and for me it's a simple question and answer. What do I want to do now in life, that a child would prevent me from doing? Uhhhhh, nothing. What do I want to do now in life, that a child would allow me to do? Let's revert back to box number two - I'm ready to be a father.
- I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful that no matter what the result and no matter what the process, Mandi and I will grow our marriage. Nothing is more important to me. You often hear that "God doesn't waste pain" and "God can use us best when we're broken". I believe both of those things 100%, and although I pray it doesn't come to that, I also pray that if it does, we have the wisdom to recognize what God is trying to do in our lives. More importantly, I pray that we draw upon strength from Him as we lean upon each other.
- I'm faithful. When we made our vows, we promised to put our own wills below the wills of our Father. We're turning this process over to Him completely and our faithful that He will provide the most perfect outcome.
- I'm patient. "Patience is bitter, but it's fruit is sweet". I can't tell you how many times I'm recited that quote to myself, Mandi, my family and friends. I'll need to recall this quote probably more often than not during this process. And to be honest, it will probably not be a reminder for me. I won't name any names, but there is a little somebody who doesn't exactly excel in the patience category. That's what marriage is all about though, our strengths cover each other's weakness.
All-in-all I'm ready to get this party started and it starts with this first appointment. Send us some prayers that we're good candidates and that this process will be as smooth as possible. We'll be updating you as much as possible and also documenting as much as we can. That is, if you guys are even interested in coming along on this journey?
