Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Ever Question Having a Family?

Another great question by a reader....

I saw that you have a child, did your CF ever make you question having a family? My boyfriend and I have open discussions about how we feel about marriage and kids, etc. but i recently opened my mouth asking how he feels due to the fact that he has CF-which was probably not the smartest move on my part. his outlook on the future has changed ever since we talked about that.

First thing we did after getting married was get my wife tested to see wether or not she was a carrier of the CF gene. Thankfully she was not, so we were able to pursue a family using IVF.

Did I ever question having a child? Not really. I was created to be a Daddy. Can something go terribly wrong with me and end up having a negative impact on my daughter? Sure. But I can promise you and anyone else I know that I will continue to work my butt off each and everyday to ensure that doesn't happen. Starting a family put my health into focus even more than it already was.

I can totally understand your BF reaction. I'm guessing that he felt "less of a man" after that conversation. As men, we want our partners to be 100% confident in our ability to take care of the family. I'm sure you also made him feel mortal in a time he may have felt immortal. I'm glad you guys are having the conversation though as it is a very important one to have.

I'll leave you with this...When my now wife and I were dating we were taking about the future and marriage. She captured my heart when she said, "I just want you to know that I'd be strong enough to be a young widow. I know we both will make sure that doesn't happen, but if it does, I can handle it."

I know that's a little deep, but sometimes the best of relationships are formed out of conversations like that :)