Wednesday, October 3, 2012

An Open Apology To The Service Industry

[This blog is an open letter of apology to all of the servers out there who get stuck with us when my wife and I go to a wine bar.]

Dear server,

Ronnie and Mandi here, aka "the couple of coffee drinkers that your manager warned you about".

You see, we don't drink. But, we love the ambiance of a wine bar for our date nights. We also love that you usually have comfy couches or chairs for us to sit in. We'll probably order coffee and I can rarely only have one cup. Yeah, we'll take a look at the menu to humor you, but we're not planning on getting anything because we already ate. That is of course not counting a dessert that may catch my wife's eye, so you should spend your time selling us on the Chocolate Lava cake and not the Grilled Ribeye Steak.

I love the size of your coffee cups by the way.
We promise that we'll be super nice to you as neither one of us could do your job and as always, I'll do my best to get a laugh from you. (That last part can come in handy if you're having a tough night.) We also promise that we'll try and not overstay our welcome. But with that said, we don't get out much, so we'll take advantage of every free minute that we have. There is something different about connecting with your spouse when you know there is a 0% chance of being interrupted by an 11-month-old. I love my life more than I could ever imagine, but I can't help but get a bit nostalgic about what used to be.

There used to be a time when we never had dinner before 6pm. Now, there's rarely a time that we have dinner after 6pm. There used to be a time when we would frequent your establishment after midnight without a care in the world. Now, I'm at least two hours into my sleep cycle by then and I have many cares, namely, the little tike that will start crying in 5 to 6 hours. We actually had our "first date" at a wine bar, and our third, but now, those dates usually happen at our house while playing a couple rounds of Skip-bo. There used to be that time, but that time is no more, yet, I have no real desire to get back to that time. If we can just get a little nibble of that time once a month or so, I think we'll be more than satisfied.

The good news is, you won't see us that often. The bad news is, when you do see us, our bill will probably be under 10 bucks. But we know you work hard and appreciate all you do for us, even if it's "only" bringing out a couple cups of joe. We both understand how your industry works and we tip accordingly. All we ask is that you keep the coffee flowing and maybe even take a picture if we ask...oh yeah, and ignore the dessert that I bring for myself from home in the plastic sandwich bag. I know, but I told you, we're that couple. (Actually, I'm that guy and it embarrasses my wife a bit.)

Thank you for understanding,
The Sharpes