Friday, March 11, 2011

That's the way...

...uh-huh uh-huh I like it. Oh wait, I meant to say "the cookie crumbles". My go around this time in the Hole has been a bit different for me. When I come into this place, I can usually count on slowly getting better (PFT wise) week by week until I'm all ready to go. After my disappointing results this week, it's evident that this will not be my typical stay. So far, I've taken PFTs three times while I have been in, and so far, the results have been almost identical. 58-60-58. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I know what's going on, but honestly, I'm kind of at a loss.

I've worked at reminding myself (as has Mandi) that I've been here before and not every stay in the Hole is the same. I think one of the problems is that my last couple of trips here have been short compared to my usual stays in the Hole. My last few stays I have averaged between 14-21 days whereas compared to the usual 30 that I was coming in at a time for the previous 5 years. Like I said, Mandi has done a great job keeping me grounded and focused on why I'm here: To feel better and do whatever it takes. Speaking of whatever it takes...We're going to try a prednisone burst for the next handful of days to see if it helps with the tightness that I'm feeling.

I hate that stuff. I'm seriously a different guy when I'm on it. I normally have one mood, and that's even-keeled, but when I'm on steroids; Watch out!!!! No, it's not that bad, but I have been know to have a not so long of a fuse. I'm just hoping that this time while be different and that I'm able to control my attitude when people are in my room :) I'm also hoping that it is the key in opening my lungs up and allowing me to take deep breaths. When I get to the point where I can actually feel a deep breath, I'm positive that the rest will take care of itself. Just keep me in mind over these next few days...and you might want to be thinking of Mandi as well :)