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When most of us think of being
selfish, we think of only doing activities or making decisions that benefit us
personally. However, I'd like to look at it from another way today - maybe
we're being selfish by not putting ourselves first when it comes to our health?
Allow me to explain.
Actually, let me back track just a
bit and share with you the note that a friend wrote me that spurred on this
blog...
"I just wanted to say THANK
YOU for the blogs you do. I was reading a lot of them today and it was a real eye
opener. By reading them made me realize that its time for me to have
"ME" time. I need to do EVERYTHING that I am capable of and control
of in order to stay healthy. Thank you Ronnie! :)"
So when you read that, what do you
think? Does saying "time for me to have "ME" time" sound
selfish to you? I can certainly understand if it does, but to me, this is one
of the most selfless statements you can make. Notice what she said after that
statement - "in order to stay healthy". That my friends is what this
is all about and why many of us need to rethink what is selfish and what is
not.
I happen to know that the person
who said this has a loving family, a ton of friends and a husband who wants
nothing more than the best for his wife. When we have that many great people
around us, it's hard not to think that the more time we spend with them, the
more we are showing that we love them. But here's the question, and one I would
suggest asking your loved ones, is it better to be "around" with your
family, or would they rather have you "there"?
I would bet that most families out
there would answer this question the same way. It's great to have us around,
but man, they absolutely love it when we're actually there, healthy and
engaged.
I used to think I was quite the
family man because I was able to spend so much time with my brothers, parents,
cousins, aunts, uncles and everybody in between. Heck, I had so much time on my
hands that I was also able to always be around friends, poured myself into
work, volunteered at church, volunteered at the homeless shelter, went on a few
dates, spoke at some fundraising events - it really seemed that I was squeezing
everything there was to squeeze out of life.
I was making a big mistake however,
all of that "life" was coming at the expense of my health. All of those things I listed came before my treatments on the
totem pole of importance. I thought I was showing everyone how much I loved
them by always being around and giving them my time, unfortunately, I had
little time to love myself.
So given the choice, would my
family and friends choose for me to be sick and around or healthy and there?
Wish I would have seen it so clearly at the time, but I was being way too
selfish by not being selfish - they would MUCH rather have me healthy and
there, even if it meant I wasn't there as often.
I hear people say that you have to
"want it for you". Nope, you don't. You just have to want it bad
enough for someone, wether it's you or not, that you're actually willing to
make a change.
That someone for me was and is
Mandi. I have become much more selfish with my time since we met, and she
wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, she demands it. She knows first hand
how things were when I didn't put my health first - it wasn't pretty for her
and it wasn't pretty for me.
So I challenge you, start being
selfish when it comes to your health and the time you spend on some
"me".
In the end, that
"selfish" act may be the most selfless thing that you ever do.
