Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My Wife Can't Only Be My Best Friend

Mandi and I are best friends. Beyond a shadow of a doubt she is who I turn to with any joys, sorrows, questions or exclamations. I spend the most time with her by far, and we enjoy doing pretty much anything that we can together. We both can't wait to be done with our work day so we can hang out, and some of our favorite parts of each day are our gym time together or our bike rides.

If my best friend wasn't around often, I just don't know what I would do with myself.

Is being married to my best friend one of the greatest things ever? Yes. Is it enough to keep our marriage strong and our love growing? No.

You see, many of us have had best friends over the years. Best friends come and go. You don't raise children with your best friend. You don't sleep in the same bed as your best friend. You don't join bank accounts with your best friend. And you don't make a proclamation and covenant before God, family and friends that your best friend will be your best friend forever and ever no matter what.

So what am I saying? It's not good to be married to your best friend? Of course not! I am however saying that your wife can't only be your best friend.

She must also be my partner, co-parent, lover, spiritual equal, (sometimes) business partner, co-decision maker, (sometimes) co-wage earner, co-house keeper, and the list goes on. If just one of those relationships is strained, it can negatively impact the rest of them. It can also rock the boat of our friendship.

That's why date nights are so important.

That's when I can show my best friend, that she's still my wife.

And date nights don't start the night of. They can start the day of or the week of, or heck, the month of.

I can start to pursue my wife again. I assure you that she has never changed on her enjoyment of being pursued. That's how our wives were wired. There isn't a woman on this planet that doesn't like her husband to try and "win" her each and every day. I am the first to admit, that often times, I forget this.

It's so easy to get caught up in the motions of just being best friends, co-parents, and business partners. That stuff is present everyday and it happens no matter what we do. We're going to hang out, we're going to be mommy and daddy to Mckenna and we're going to go to work.

What doesn't have to happen everyday however unless I choose to bring it into the day is Mandi being my wife, and I her husband. That's a choice. That's a choice I have to make from the minute I put two feet on the ground to the minute I lay my head on that pillow.

Pursuit happens in many different forms. It could be flowers, notes, back-rubs, head scratches, words and even, just shutting my mouth and listening (gasp!!).

I'm certainly not telling you that I'm the king of pursuit or that I have this husband thing down. What I am telling you however is that my wife deserves to be pursued each and every day and the fact that she is also my best friend is just icing on the cake!

How are you going to show your wife today that she is more than your best friend?

**Women, you of course can do the same! How about you? What will you do today to show your hubby that he isn't just _____________ (daddy, friend, worker, yard guy, etc)?**