We often say that we are "blessed by CF." We say that we consider CF a blessing in our lives. It's one of those things that is hard to explain; hard to justify. There are many things about CF that I don't consider awesome. I certainly don't love that Ronnie is holed up 3-4 times a day doing treatments when we could use that time doing other things. I don't love the fact that he's away from Mckenna and I for a couple weeks at a time while he's in the hospital. I really don't like the thought of potentially being a young widow. Obviously that's not a certainty, but the possibility of it isn't desirable. I really hate the chance that Mckenna would lose her daddy at some point, before she "should." There are certainly things about CF that don't seem like blessings on the surface. Neither Ronnie, nor myself, would argue that.
But the sermon last week opened my eyes to something. I will admit, I don't have prayer down. I am not the greatest or best when it comes to prayer. I don't always pray the way that I should. I don't always have my prayer life straight. That being said, when our pastor was speaking, I realized EXACTLY what he was talking about. Ronnie and I have it exactly right when it comes to our prayer about CF.
Our pastor simply said this, "We need to stop praying for God to remove us from situations and start praying for God to use us in those situations." That hit home. God's job is not to take away all the struggles in our lives. His job is not to play doctor when it's not according to His will. His job, and ours, is to use us in our struggles and in our circumstances. I don't always remember that in my prayer life, but when it comes to CF, I somehow instinctually applied that principle.
For some reason I never once have prayed for a cure for CF. Not once. In my heart of hearts, I know that's not what God currently has in Ronnie's plan. I know so deep in my being that God is using Ronnie's CF and therefore, I am not going to pray for him to be cured. I will be honest, I'm not always so in-tuned to God's voice that I know exactly what His plan is for us, but this is one area of our lives that I have always known and heard God clearly. Therefore, I have always prayed that God would use us in our situation, not for Him to take us out of this situation.
And in that lies the reason...That is why we think CF is a blessing!
Instead of crying out and asking God to cure Ronnie's CF and having our prayers left unanswered, and us angry, we are praying that God use us in our current situation. As a result, we see God answer our prayers in a big way. Time after time. We see blessing in abundance. God has provided us with great friends, jobs, and situations as a direct result of CF. Day in and day out we are shocked by what God is doing in our lives because of CF. He is pouring out more blessing and fulfillment than any little hurdle CF may put in our path. Our prayer is that He uses CF, not that He removes those hurdles.
It is because of the way we pray about CF that we think CF is blessing.
I have never realized why until last Sunday. It has been a huge learning lesson. My eyes were opened. I need to apply this same principle to other areas of my life. I cannot fathom how much more blessed and overjoyed we can be if we continue to pray in a way that aligns our hearts with His. I need to realize that in all areas of my life God puts me exactly where I need to be today. He wants to use me; He doesn't want to rescue me when it's not according to His plan.
As a result, the prayer I want to pray when it comes to all areas of my life is this: Use me, Lord, and allow me to see the blessings in any circumstance regardless of how they seem on the surface.
In hard times this prayer will be difficult, but I know the blessings that the Creator of the Universe (let that sink in for a moment - the creator of the entire universe) will rain down on me will far outweigh any earthly, "big" challenges I will face in the present.