Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Somehow I Stumbled Upon Her

I was so inspired by Mandi's blog yesterday, that I decided to write a response to her blog...sort of. I'm not going to go into all of the reasons that I think CF is a blessing or the reasons that I don't hate Cystic Fibrosis (since Mandi nailed it), but I am going to heap praise on my wife. My one and only.

I am blessed.

There's no doubt about it, I am one blessed man. From the loving family I was born into, to the loving family I am now leading, I am blessed beyond measure. I often think that it's time to pinch myself, but there is no way that I want to wake up from this dream if that is in fact what is going on. I mean, I sometimes feel guilty. I catch myself saying "What did I do to deserve all of this?". I cannot think of a single reason as to why God would choose to bestow such blessings upon me.

That however, is the good news - it has nothing to do with me. God has blessed me richly because that's His perfect plan. His perfect plan could also have my own little world come crashing down tomorrow. Nobody knows what the future holds but Him. I take comfort in the fact that come feast or famine, it's all part of God's perfect plan.

God created Mandi with me in mind.

There aren't many women out there who could fall in love with a guy like me. My faults are many and my good qualities are few. Add on top of it the very different life that I live, and I'm not exactly what most people would consider a catch. Yet, in spite of all of my downfalls, I stumbled upon a woman who loves every character trait, quirk, struggle, fault, and cell in my being...even the jacked up CF one.

It doesn't stop there. She not only loves everything about me, but she'll even credit my jacked up CF cells with crafting me into the man she fell in love with. As she has put it before; "In a weird way, I'm actually very thankful for your CF". There are not many women out there who have ever breathed those words. Yet, in His perfect plan, I decide to go to the movie June 27th, 2008.

I saw a movie that night with my future wife, the woman God hand-selected for me, and I didn't even know it. I was too busy watching some stupid movie to realize it was the beginning of my very own fairytale.

Mandi's doesn't hate CF + I am CF = Mandi doesn't hate me.

I really feel for the people out there who hate CF. I really, really feel for the kids out there who's parents vocalize how much they hate CF. You know what that says to some kids? That you hate them.

I accepted at a very young age that CF was a part of my life and it wasn't going away. CF was woven into the fabric of my being and in some respect, was just simply who I was. So, if I accepted that, but then was told by my parents that they "hated CF", how could one not see that as hating something about you that is never going away? See how that can work?

Thankfully, Mandi has expressed from very early on in our relationship, that there is nothing she would change about me - not even CF. She doesn't hate it. She loves what it's done for me. She loves what it's done for us. She loves what it will do for our family.

Wanting something to be gone and hating that something are worlds apart where I'm from. I want CF to be gone, but I will never, ever hate it.

The end.