From the Top of the Rollercoaster

As you have probably seen scattered here and there in posts, we are getting licensed to be foster parents. I'm not sure what we shared about this, so I'll lay it all out there...

Ronnie and I have both always felt called to fostering. We talked about it while dating and continued discussions all throughout our relationship. I have family friends who have fostered and adopted a huge family, Ronnie's cousins have fostered and adopted several kids, and we have friends who foster. We always discussed fostering "when our family is complete." Even after getting pregnant and having Mckenna, it was always "when our family is complete." Even through the first year and a half of our IVF journey to baby number two, it was "when our family is complete."

Well after our failed cycle this summer, we both felt God was saying we shouldn't put off getting licensed any longer. We had a set expectation of what our "complete" family was going to look like. And this summer I really started to think that maybe my version of our "complete" family, wasn't God's version. Perhaps our family wasn't going to be completed the way I thought. We both felt God was saying not to push off the call on our hearts for some self-imposed milestone. We aren't done trying to have biological kids, but we decided that our vision of when we would foster should be reworked. So we started the process.

We have friends and family in the area that have fostered, so we asked around and found a wonderful agency. From there it was lots of paperwork, 10 weeks of classes, lots more paperwork, a homestudy (just lots of interviews that our licensing worker writes up about us), and a home inspection by the state. It's been a long road, but I'm happy to say that as of last Thursday, our application for a license was submitted to the state, and we should hear any minute that we have our license.

Gulp.

That means this is really happening. I have to tell you...when we started this in June, it seemed like an eternity away. And when we submitted our application last week, I kind of felt like I was going to have a panic attack. You know that feeling when you are really excited to ride a roller coaster, and then when it's slowly climbing up to the peak at the beginning, your heart starts racing. With each eery "click", you can feel your stomach rise higher into your throat. Click....click....click. And then, you're at the top, looking down at the ground, and you have that moment of "oh crap..." right before you're hurled down for the most fear-filled yet thrilling ride of your life? That's pretty much exactly how it feels. This is a journey that we are stepping into knowing it will be the ride of our lives.

One of the first things people say when they know you're going to foster is that they never could do it. That it has to be so hard to take a child in, bond with them, and then say goodbye. And I totally get it. I don't think I can do it either. I love kids. I love babies. You could hand me a baby tomorrow and say, "it's yours." I wouldn't think twice and love him/her like I had carried him/her for 9 months. I honestly don't know how you say goodbye to a little one that you've loved and cared for. But, I know that while I can't, I know that He can. God has placed this call on our hearts. And I know that He can walk us through the hard parts. I know that He has created each of us, Mckenna included, to be able to navigate through and flourish while carrying out this call. So while I stare from the top, panicked and scared for the plunge, I am feeling at peace knowing that God will walk us through this.

So please pray for our family as we step out in faith to carry out the most challenging, yet rewarding, journey we may ever do together. We are so excited...and scared...but more excited!!

"What in the World?!"

There are a couple things that Mckenna does lately that I love, so I figured I'd write them down so I actually remember them when these early years become a blur.

"I missed you" - Mckenna tells me or Ronnie that she missed us frequently. Whether it's in the morning when we get her up, or if one of us has been back in the office working for a few hours, she tells us often. It is the sweetest thing. It's usually accompanied by a bear hug and some sweet snuggles. I'm not sure I'll ever tired of hearing "I missed you mommy" come out of her mouth.

"Bear down, Daddy" - If you know Ronnie, you know he loves his Wildcats more than life itself. I think if I forced him to choose between me and his cats, well, I may be packing a bag…eh, forget that, if he chose the Cats over me, I'd make him pack a bag..hehe! Anyways, point is, he loves them. He started singing their fight song as a cheer of sorts for Mckenna when she would do something cheer-worthy (a little self-serving, but she liked it, so it worked). Now whenever Mckenna does something she thinks is cheer worthy, like puts on her own shoes, goes potty and gets her own underwear and pants back on, is a good girl, she runs to Ronnie and says, "bear down, Daddy." He asks her what she did, she tells him, and the singing begins. The cutest is to watch her little eyes. They light up and then they, almost timidly, scan Ronnie's body and her own. She looks at his feet, and then her own to make sure she's doing it the same. Then she looks at his leg and then her own to make sure she's doing it the same. It's the sweetest thing to watch. And why does she ask daddy to sing it, you may be wondering. I don't know. Mom doesn't cut it. She may sense that I don't have the same love for the Cats that he does.

Baby Walks - Mckenna has asked to take her baby for walks at least once a day now. She gets her baby all ready in the baby's stroller, and then pushes her as we walk around the neighborhood. It's endearing to see her loving and caring nature shine through as she stops, takes baby out of the stroller, and proceeds to bounce and shush baby as she informs me that baby is crying. Once baby stops crying, back in the stroller she goes and we are off again.

"I'm a sorry Mommy" - That's how she says sorry, "I'm a sorry". I'm not sure where she got the "a" from, but it makes it even sweeter to hear her apologies.

"I dock it. I dock it" - This is actually "I've got it. I've got it"…but she says, "I dock it"…and it's awesome. She says it all the time. All. The. Time. When she wants to flush the toilet, put on her own shoes, dress herself, get her own snack, open a door, you name it. This one she's said for a long time, but it only increases in frequency as she insists more and more on being independent.

"Mandi Sharpe" - At some point she has realized this is my name. And now, it randomly makes its way into play time. The other day she was pretending to be on the phone and the conversation went like this, "Hello Mandi Sharpe. Are you running? Ok. Bye." The way she says my name makes me melt. However, it's less than amusing when she's in bed and wants out and I hear "Maaaannnndddiii"…umm what? I will never answer to my first name to you. Learn that and we will all be better off ;-) For a while now, she's "known" Ronnie's name. But I don't think she knows it's his name, instead she thinks it's how you're supposed to call for him in the house (I wonder who she's modeling!) "Hey Ronnie!" She yells (more like "Hey Wonnie")…But I think she thinks "Hey Ronnie" isn't "hey __(insert name of person)__" I think she thinks it's just one word "Heywonnie."

"You kidding me?"- This one is new in the last few days and cracks me up. She hasn't figured out the correct usage totally yet, but it's adorable even still. Today she was looking for pants in the dryer and I heard a muffled, "you kidding me?" to herself!

"What in the world?" - Another new one in the last few days. My mom reported hearing it the other day. My parents were sweet enough to offer to watch Mckenna all day Friday and Friday night so Ronnie and I could have hubby/wife time. Well Saturday morning Mckenna wanted to go for a walk, but Nana told her it was probably too chilly out still. "I have a sweatshirt in my bag," Mckenna negotiated. What Mckenna didn't know was that her mom usually is good like that, but this time her mom packed as if it wasn't January, at least not January on the equator. They went into Mckenna's room and as Mckenna pulled out shorts and t-shirts she exclaimed, "What in the world?"

…Gosh I love this stage!

Confessions of a Selfish Wife

Well happy Monday, right?! The title sounds a bit extreme. "It's the holidays…where's the merriness?" You may be thinking. Don't worry, this post won't be as depressing as that title leads you to believe ;-) This post may be a bit heavy for two days before Christmas, but it's timely in our lives right now, so here you have it.

Ronnie's hospital stay is coming to an end. We are so close I can taste it. It's been a decently long stay (3 weeks exactly). It's actually been a pretty good tune-up all around (I'll post more on what Mckenna and I did to keep busy in another post or this one will ramble even more than normal…I know, seems impossible to ramble even more, doesn't it?! Trust me, I can go all day). Anyways, the stay has been pretty good. I think it's been the best one since Mckenna was born. She was good. We kept busy. I kept my sanity. All in all…a win.

During the stay, I got a message from a girl with CF. She is also battling a flare up and is having a harder than usual time getting back up to par. She has a boyfriend. He is usually good at handling her CF, but this time she wasn't getting as much as she needed from him. He was indifferent to her feelings during this time and not opening up. She wrote me asking: "So I guess my question is, how have you and Ronnie had a successful marriage?"

Talk about a doozy, right? I answered her the only way I knew how: honestly. My response boiled down to this…we have a successful marriage, but that doesn't mean I don't suck as a wife from time to time (more often than I like to admit). And not that you're asking, but I'll tell you anyways, here's what I think about successful CF relationships.

CF spouses are people first. I think sometimes we forget this. We all do. CF patients and spouses alike. We are often told, "oh you're so special" for marrying someone with CF. And sometimes we allow those sentiments to change our expectations of ourselves. In reality, we aren't special. We are human. We fell in love with someone with CF, and we went with it. Sure the lifestyle is a little different, but CF spouses aren't the only people that fall in love and sign up for a life that's a little different. In fact, most couples and families have some sort of "challenge" that they "sign up for"…a spouse that travels a lot, a spouse in the military, a spouse that's ugly (haha that one was a really bad joke..I kid. I kid). Anyways, back to my point. The point is, we are just people. And when there are conflicts in a CF relationship, we sometimes bring CF into the mix, when really if we just took CF out of it and just looked at the person or the issue, it would be a different story. For example, in the case of the girl that messaged me. She was concerned that he wouldn't listen to her fears about CF and wouldn't open up. In a CF relationship, and because it has to do with CF, we may blow this up. We wonder, "does this mean he can't handle a life with me? Can he not handle CF?" When sometimes it's as simple as this. He's just a person. He's just a guy. Most guys suck at discussing feelings and would rather rip out their fingernails one by one than sit and talk about their own feelings. When he doesn't listen to feelings about school or work, we don't think anything of it. We give him a free pass and let him play the "honey, I'm a guy" card. We allow him to say, "unless you give me something to fix…let's not discuss it." (Anyone else's husband operate this way?! Unless Ronnie can fix it, he doesn't really want to discuss the what ifs and hear all my hims and haws. I bore him with them anyways, but I know he doesn't really want to hear them). But because it has to do with CF, we sometimes think too seriously about things that may otherwise go unnoticed.

Do I think we shouldn't strive to be extraordinary spouses? No. I think we should always strive to be better. But, ultimately, we are just human. We experience the same less-than-heroic-thoughts that everyone has. Which brings me to my second point: I'm a selfish wife.

Woah… it just got real, y'all!

Here's the truth: my husband sugar coats me in his own mind. We have a great marriage, but I'm not 2013's Wife of the Year. Ronnie thinks I'm the best wife in the world because he loves me, but I suck most of the time. Most of us share the good and keep private the bad (thanks for that, honey!) But I realized in reading her message that we've maybe perpetuated the high expectations for CF spouses through what we share (or more accurately, don't share). I think we only hear the highlights in some CF couples' relationships, and then it leaves younger CF patients looking for this perfect person to spend their life with. When in reality, you'll never find someone perfect to marry, CF or not. You'll just find someone perfect for you. Whoever we marry will always just be a person. All people are flawed and no one is perfect.

I'm a great CF spouse, but I'm still selfish in my marriage sometimes, even in our "CF life." I am 100% ok with Ronnie's CF. I view CF as a blessing. I embrace the life we have. I think, quite frankly, we probably have one of the best lives around. We are extremely blessed, and I wouldn't change a thing about the life we have. If there's someone that is cut out for the CF life…it's me. To an outsider looking in, I could see exactly where her question originates. If you only see the highlights, I can see why there would be nerves about, "have I found someone cut out for this? Some people seem to be more ok with it." But in reality I am human, and honestly, I am selfish. We have a successful marriage, but not because I am always a successful spouse. The week before Ronnie went in, I knew he didn't feel good. But he had been sleeping in every morning (because he didn't feel great) and one morning I was exhausted, so I just made him get up. I didn't care how he felt that morning, I felt like I needed sleep more. His last hospital stay I hounded him endlessly about when he was getting out because I had about had it being a "single mom". I sometimes wish I had something I had to do to buy me 45 minutes of alone time when Mckenna is being a pill. Some hard days alone with Mckenna during a tune-up I have even felt a little resentful that Ronnie is just "relaxing" while I'm running around like an idiot all day trying to maintain my cool (I should note, that the more rational me knows he's not "relaxing" and that it's hard work and he feels like crap and would rather be home. But the me that's fighting a two year old in a battle over something ridiculous isn't rational! HA!) Ronnie gets out today and my first thought isn't, "oh good, he's all better and feeling great." Instead my initial thought is, "oh good, I need a break…" I know those little tidbits are less than flattering. But I think they need to be shared more often, possibly. Even those of us who are totally ok with CF; those of us who love taking care of their spouse; and those of us who wouldn't change their lives for anything, have their moments. I was made for this life. I was made to be Ronnie's wife. But I am human. And I have selfish moments.

I think it's important to realize there's a difference between being a CF spouse and being human. I think we need to separate CF from most aspects of our relationships. I think we need to not blow things out of proportion just because they have to do with CF. I think we need to teach younger people that successful marriages are always between two imperfect people. I think we need to allow ourselves and our spouses to be imperfect. I think we need to be honest about how we feel, even when it's not flattering so that others understand what marriage is truly like. I think we need to help others learn what they can expect from a spouse and what they should look for in a spouse. I was so thankful for her note. I think dialogues should happen way more often regarding CF relationships. And I think we all need to cut ourselves some slack!

Coughs, Sniffles, and Sore Throats

It's that time of year again. Time for coughs, sniffles, and sore throats. We had a round make it through out house hold around Christmas, and it seemed like we just continued to pass it around with my brother and sister-in-law and my parents. Another round has made it into our house now, and man does it make me thankful for good health.

I got it first, and have been battling a headache from the congestion and sore throat since. Then I ever so kindly passed it to Ronnie, and Mckenna has a bit of a cough now, but doesn't seem to be feeling terrible. I will say, the cough goes nicely with her recently "cured" pink eye. I tell you what, we're a germ factory right now.

Anyways, when I'm sick there are always a couple things I LOVE doing:

- Having lazy days - Lazy days look very different with a toddler than they used to. All you parents out there know exactly what I'm talking about. There's no laying on the couch all day long. That said, we made a point to lay around as much as possible this weekend.

- Sleep - I LOVE sleeping. And when I'm sick, I love sleeping even more. Nights have been a bit wacky because Mckenna still is having funky sleep (who knows if it's a cough, the pottytraining, the fact that Ronnie was gone, then back, than gone again). But I am thankful that I have been able to sneak in a nap or two.

- Chicken noodle soup - Chicken noodle soup is always good, but it's especially good when you can slurp some of the broth down a sore throat.

- Snuggles - I'm a cuddler in general, but I especially like to cuddle when I'm sick. I'm so thankful Ronnie is home to snuggle since he was gone for a tune-up and traveling to speak much of January...that said, that may be what passed it on ;-)

Anyways, the nice thing about being sick is it sure makes you thankful for good health, so I am thankful for that reminder! But now I'm ready to get rid of this cold from the house so we can all get back to our normal selves!

Potty Troubles and Triumphs

There are two times it's ok to discuss potty on this blog. For some unknown reason, in the CF community bodily functions are perfectly ok to share, so Ronnie's potty practices are fair game. The other, is Mckenna's because, well, she's a toddler. You're in luck, and today is not about a grown man's toilet troubles and triumphs, but instead about my sweet, innocent and far-less-stinky daughter's.

So a couple weeks ago Mckenna started running to the bathroom door and holding her diaper while making grunting sounds. I ignored it the first time or two thinking she was just being silly. When she kept it up, however, I decided to go ahead and toss her on the potty to see what she'd do. Sure enough, she pooped. I was certain it was a fluke, but praised her and told her what a big girl she was. She was as proud as a peacock. She admired it sitting there and, strangely, pointed and grunted at it (HA! I wish I got the grunt/screams at it on tape. It was like she was mad at it!). Much to my surprise, she did it another time that day, so I decided to keep rolling with it.

I hadn't given any thought to potty training since she is still "young" and not of conventional, American potty training age. How would I do it? Big potty vs. kid potty? Do I use a method? What does it look like in terms of timeline? It wasn't on my radar, so I was totally lost. I started googling (that is my method of seeking parenting "advice"..hehe) and found just about nothing helpful on potty training a 15-month old who was initiating the process. So I just took a few tidbits here and there from the different "techniques" I could find and went with it.

Pretty much I put her on the potty when she gets up and before she goes to sleep for naps and bedtime, as well as before and after we leave the house to go somewhere, and then I just pick random times and sit her on there to see if she will go (if it has been awhile). I tried putting her on more frequently at set intervals, but then she stopped telling me as much, so I just decide to go a bit more casual and she seems to go better with that. After all, she was the one driving the process initially, so I decided to back off a bit and let her continue to drive.

Well turns out she must have been ready because she's doing great. Ever since we started 11 days ago, I've only changed 2 poops (apparently she was really ready to do that on a potty) and she's now about 50/50 for pee. I am so proud of her!

It has been a good learning experience for me too. I've learned that she is very internally motivated, at least for this and I hope for other accomplishments in life as well. I started with a sticker chart and occasional little treats for her. But after a couple days of the sticker chart she was over it, and now I'm left doing it on my own. It's a bit pathetic, but I feel REALLY good to see all those stickers on the chart after what feels like a full day spent in a bathroom...so even though she's not into it anymore, I still do it! HA! As for the treat, I decided I didn't want to go down that path and axed them. She didn't even notice.

It hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies, we are still dealing with some sleep disturbances as a result...you know, the kind that leave you throwing your hands in the air and wondering what the heck you do to "fix" the problem. She was getting up early in the morning by just 30-45 minutes, which I don't mind. I get it. She learned to go potty on the potty. She now poops when she first gets up. So she wakes and thinks, alright, let's get this show on the road. But then last night, she was up at 3:30am AND DIDN'T GO BACK TO SLEEP. 3:30am!?! I don't so much mind for my sake and missing out on a little sleep. But I know that a lack of sleep makes her one cranky kid, and I don't want that for any of us. Not to mention I always feel it's my job to find "the fix" and so it stresses me out to no end. I've tried googling for answers (again, I wasn't kidding when I said it's my go to!) but couldn't find much that was practical for a 15-month old.

We will see how tonight goes. Hopefully last night was just a fluke and she will sleep like a baby (HA! What baby actually "sleeps like a baby'?!) tonight. But in case it wasn't...please feel free to post advice/suggestions.

Here's to another chapter in our little love's life...big girl underwear and bedwetting are in her fast approaching future :)

I'm a Wimp

First things first, I feel I should say this is Mandi posting, since it's not Monday! Although, in the context of this post, Ronnie is a wimp too...

Let me explain...

On Sunday my mom and I did the Phoenix Rock n Roll Half Marathon. We decided about a month ago to run/walk it. Neither of us had been training for it, but we both are in reasonable shape and keep up a decent amount of running. Up until the race we both were just doing 2.5-3.5 mile runs a couple days a week. I should mention, I was doing an interval training class and we were both lifting at the gym, so we weren't just sitting around, but never-the-less, we weren't running much. I did do one 7.5 mile run a couple weeks before the race, just to see how it felt. The 7-miler felt ok, but to say I was ready for it to be over about 5 miles in would be an understatement.

Based on our training, or lack there of, we decided we were just going to run/walk it for fun. No pressure. We figured worse case we'd run half and walk half. Our plan of attack started at run 2, walk 1. So we'd run 2, walk 1, run 2, walk 1, repeat. Then the day before the race we decided we'd shoot for run 3, walk 1.

On race day, we felt a bit nervous. We both didn't care about our time or pace, but I think neither of us wanted to be the one to hold the other one back. Standing in our corral, we got our game faces on (aka, joked around by how out of shape we were and that we were crazy for doing this). Here we are!

The view from our corral

The gun went off and we were on our way...well almost. It was a wave start, so each corral was started separately. We had to wait 30 minutes to start...that was a LONG 30 minutes. We started out strong. We both felt good, with the exception of a couple aches in our joints from the cold air, but those went away once we warmed up a bit.

Mile 2 came and went, and we kept running.

Mile 3 came and went, and we kept running.

Mile 4 came, we ran another .5 and decided to walk a bit.

As we walked we realized we still felt our legs. We weren't out of breath while running, our legs were just tired and sore. But they continued to be tired and sore while we walked. We were being passed by people. We are both too proud to be passed (yup, I said it). So between being too competitive and still feeling our legs while walking, we didn't walk the full mile we intended, we walked around .5 miles or a little less. So we started running.

Another 4 miles came and went...and we decided to walk a bit. Again, we still felt our legs, so we started back up in a little less than .5 miles. Here's us, mid-run...clearly I had a bit of trouble getting a good shot.

We ran. We felt tired, but we ran. We joked that the key was just to be more proud than you are out of shape.

At around mile 11.5 we decided to walk another .5 just to "rest up" before the final push. Again we walked just under .5 and started back up.

It was the last 1.1 miles. We both were tired. Here is my rockstar momma pushing through (she didn't know I took this...sneaky sneaky).

It didn't feel like a walk in the park...but 1.1 miles later, we had crossed the finish line. We did it in 2:09:22 - at a 9:53 mile pace. Here we are within a couple minutes of finishing.

I learned a valuable lesson through this half marathon experience. I'm a WIMP. Yup. I am. I had only been running 3 miles. I ran one 7.5-miler, and decided that was enough. I was tired. But then, without legit training, I ran 13.1. You know what that means? That means I didn't push myself nearly enough leading up to race day. I had the ability to run FAR FARTHER than I had been. I had the ability to run 13.1, but I was stopping after 3 or 7.5 miles. I had been wimping out...FOR MONTHS.

I can't help but wonder what I am capable of if I push my body on a daily basis like I did on Sunday. How much faster would I be? How much farther would I run? How much more fit could I be? Because I put in a lot of hours at the gym and working out, I had never stopped and asked myself am I being my best? Am I achieving my full potential? On Sunday I realized I'm not! If I had to guess, most of us aren't pushing ourselves as much as we could. Most of us sell ourselves and our potential short. I think in one regard or another, lots of us are wimps. I thought I was pushing myself, until I pushed myself even further. I've decided not to wimp out anymore. I'm going to push myself beyond what I thought was pushing myself before. My motto always has been (thanks to an old soccer coach), "our body is unlike any other machine, it adapts to the stresses we put on it"...this weekend I realized I'm not putting enough "stress" on it!! Look out body, you're about to be PUSHED like never before!!

A Talking Machine

Mckenna is a talking machine these days. It is pretty incredible. It seems like most days she learns at least one new word, sometimes more. She has always been a chatty cathy - even when she's not using words, she's rambling in Mckennaese. But in the last few weeks, her vocabulary seems to be exploding.  She knows names, body parts, foods, verbs, prepositions, adjectives, you name it. Some of my favorite recent words are:

Gigi - Gigi is the name of my mom's mom (my Grammy). But Mckenna just learned the word when my parents good friends came into town and the wife, Wendy, wanted to try on her choice "grandma name"for size. So we told Mckenna her name was Gigi. Well you hear Mckenna searching around their house and ours for her beloved Gigi. 

Bird - Or "buhhd" to Mckenna. I'm not sure where she picked up the word. But I started noticing it when we were outside and she pointed to a bird feeder and said "buhhd". Perhaps Papi taught her the word on one of their many exploratory walks around the house together.

Please - "PUWEEEZ". Mckenna pulls this one out ALL the time now. She is still learning that "please" is polite, but it's not then a given that you get it. "That." "No." "PUWEEEEZ." "Up." "No." "PUWEEEEZ." "No, honey. Good job. That's polite, but it doesn't mean you'll get your way."....that's what my days look like now.

Medicine - "Memin" - This one really melted my heart. Mckenna touched Ronnie's PICC line and he told her not to, that it was "ouchy for Daddy." He then told her what this PICC was for, "it gives daddy medicine..." he said at some point. A couple minutes later he said, "Mckenna, where doesn't daddy's medicine go?" And Mckenna pointed at his PICC and said, "Memin." Ahh so sweet, Dr. Sharpe in the making.

Rio - With my parents recently moving back, Mckenna quickly got to know their dog, Rio. They have a love/hate relationship. She loves him. Loves to see him. Call for him. Bring him his toys. But Rio is a bit of a nut job! He moves fast. He often knocks her over as he runs past. He gives her lots of kisses, which she likes about 50% of the time. And even for all the complexities in their relationship, there is one this for sure...Mckenna LOVES to say "RIO!" She wanders around looking for him all the time. "Rio!" "RIO!" She calls. It is so cute.

And last, but CERTAINLY not least (in fact, it's the BEST one)...

I love you - "La lou" or "Ah La lou" - You want to talk about a heart melter!! "Please" doesn't mean she will get her way, but boy if she knew what "I love you" can do! Ha! She said it for the first time to Ronnie. He wasn't here and we were FaceTiming together. Before getting off the phone Ronnie said, "Mckenna, I love you," and clear as day, "La lou" she said back. I watched Ronnie melt to mush.

Our little Chatty Cathy is going to give us a real earful before we know it, I think. She comes from a long line of talkers (her Gigi, Nana, and Mommy are all talkers). So she comes by it honestly. As of now, I'm just enjoying hearing more and more of what's going on in her little mind. She is such a fun, goofy, vivacious, little spark plug! I love it!!

First Night Apart

This weekend was a big weekend from Mckenna, Mommy and Dada. Mckenna spent her first night away from home without us!!

Ronnie and I got tickets to the UA basketball game on Saturday from one of my co-workers (THANKS MELANIE!) so we asked my parents to watch Mckenna for the day. They took us up on the request and offered one better...to take her OVERNIGHT, so we didn't have to hurry home from the game. We, of course, took them up on it.

Saturday morning after Mckenna's first nap, Nana and Papi came and picked her up. As soon as they left, Ronnie and I hit the road for Tucson. It felt strange. It was weird to be in the car together, without Mckenna. It was strange leaving for the day and not worrying about nap time, toddler-friendly activities, or getting home for bath and bedtime. It was weird, but really nice. Mckenna LOVES her Nana and Papi and is more than comfortable with them and being at their house. So I didn't worry about her one bit, which helped make the day even more enjoyable.

Mckenna, Nana and Papi went on an adventure to a stone store (AKA an errand that Nana and Papi needed to run, but they dressed it up as a fun activity), stopped for lunch at McDonalds for Mckenna to have her first happy meal, and went home just in time for her nap. After her nap, they snuggled up and watched a movie, had dinner, and then it was bath and bedtime. Mckenna slept like a champ and when she woke up they watched toy story (and by they I mean Nana and Papi...Mckenna had the attention span of a gnat, so she played, but Nana and Papi realized they LOVE Pixar Movies. HA!) Then it was they had breakfast, went to church, took a nap, had lunch, and then I went and picked her up. I knew she was totally fine when I got there and I was chopped liver because she was too excited about helping Nana with a chore she was doing! Success!

Meanwhile, Ronnie and I hopped in the car, drove to Tucson, grabbed a slice of pizza (which was awesome), enjoyed the game, grabbed Chinese food, and headed home. Unfortunately, the Chinese food MAYBE wasn't the freshest because I spent some of the night on the bathroom floor. Strangely enough I never actually puked, just had a gnarly upset stomach. So I didn't quite get the refreshing night sleep I was anticipating. But thankfully, this morning I woke up feeling awesome, so Ronnie and I organized our third car garage, and then I headed up to get Mckenna while Ronnie finished up the organizing. Success!!

Thankfully the whole experience was incredibly positive for all parties involved!

Here are some pictures (and a video) so you can get a taste of the weekend:

Mckenna trying her "overnight bag" on for size. She's pretty excited about it!

Us on our way to Tucson, we look pretty excited!

Mckenna sizing up her Happy Meal

Washing down the grease with Nana's help.

 Heading into Nana and Papi's carrying her very full overnight bag! She looks SO old!!

Ronnie EXCITED about seeing his Cats play!

We look a little tired...we're not used to all this fun!

The garage in progress. We put together those shelves...so before we started, ALL those boxes and bins were all over the floor. If you think it looks bad here, you would have puked if you saw it before!

                          

...And just to prove we've still got it...and by "it" I mean no shame!

Delayed Mandi Monday and Early Birthday Breakdown

Yet another Mandi Monday where my blog was practically posted on Tuesday. This time, again, my excuse is poor. The weekend flew by and this morning, my usual last minute posting-writing time, was jam packed with my 4:40AM core class, my run (which today was a lazy walk), breakfast, shower, and the exciting civil act of jury duty! Yippee! 

If you're wondering, I wasn't selected, but I did go and give it my best effort. I mean, who wouldn't select juror number 25, sporting red shoes with tassels? Nothing screams impartial and unbiased like a red pair of suede flats, right? Anywho, I wasted 6 hours of my day hurrying up and waiting...but hey, at least Mr. Slip and Fall got his day in court.

So this week is the week. This is the week I go from having a baby to a toddler. Mckenna turns one on Wednesday, and I have to say, it's very bittersweet. This time last year I was sitting on my couch, peacefully enjoying a whole Saturday afternoon of uninterrupted TV. Parents - remember those Saturdays? Non-parents - enjoy one for me this week, would ya? This time last year I had no idea that I'd only have another day to feel Mckenna's sweet kicks and nudges as she repositioned in my belly. This time last year I had no idea that in 12 hours I'd have my water break in bed, at 3:30AM. This time last year I had no idea my birthday would be spent in labor. And this time last year I had no idea my entire world was about to be rocked with the best birthday gift I've ever received.

I have never had a birthday like I had last year. And over the next few days, I'll relive those glorious hours through a couple blog posts, but all I can say is it was the best birthday I've ever had. I would relive that day every year on my birthday if I could. Being in labor is one of the most meaningful and beautiful experiences of my life. For someone who wasn't sure if they'd get to ever experience pregnancy and labor, I can tell you that no contraction is too strong or push is too painful. It was a time spent enjoying the day bonding with my husband and feeling overwhelmingly blessed. I have never felt more empowered and amazed by how perfectly God created a woman! 

And while I would love to relive last year's birthday over and over again, I wouldn't want to be anywhere in time other than now. I used to selfishly rejoice my own life on the 16th of each October, but now I celebrate my "special day" by reflecting on the perfect little blessing I got on (well 44 minutes after) my birthday. No package wrapped up with a bow could ever compete with the gift I received from God, and each year I get the blessing of remembering the gift that just keeps on giving.

This last year (which we will recap the highlights in a special birthday post) has been one of the most lesson-filled and blessed years of my life. We have had so many firsts as a family this year, as we've watched Mckenna grow from a little 6lb 2oz, 17inch peanut; to a walking, "talking," toddler, full of spunk, personality and intelligence. It is so bittersweet to think of all of the firsts that we will never have again. All of the stages she's already progressed through. All of the growth that has been done. There are so many memories I would love to relive again. But holy smokes am I excited for the next year to come. I can't wait to watch the spunk turn to sass as she realizes her independence (at the time, I know I'll hate it, but what an incredible step in a kids life); her personality come through more and more with every new word she learns and phrase she masters; and her intelligence continue to amaze us as she learns new skills. 

This week is one that will be met with both happy tears and sad - but both from a place of celebration.

So here's to our birthday week, baby girl!!

Is It Fall Yet?

I know most people don't look forward to the end of summer...but I do! In fact, there are several things that come with fall that I look forward to each year. Here are the things that are around the corner that I'm excited for this fall.

1. Nice weather - In Arizona, fall and spring are about the best weather you can find anywhere. After a summer of super hot, sunny days, I start itching for some cooler weather. I love enjoying crisp mornings with the doors open and the sound of our fountain flowing. I love sitting on the back porch under the heater. I love going outside and not feeling like I'm entering an oven.

2. Running Anytime - The cooler weather means I can exercise outside any time of day. I love running in the morning when the air still has a cool freshness to it. I also love the fact that I can get a run in at anytime and not fear a heat stroke.

3. Birthdays - Fall means birthdays around here. Josh, Chrissy, myself and now Mckenna all have birthdays in the fall. I absolutely love birthday celebrations, from cake to presents, it's all awesome. Plus, this year is Mckenna's first birthday...HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! I cannot wait to celebrate with my little love!

4. Fall Fashion - I am certainly not a fashionista. "Stylish" isn't my middle name. But I do really enjoy pulling out clothes I haven't been able to wear for months and putting away all the summer gear. It's nice to get to switch it up a bit.

5. Fall Foods - Fall is a perfect time to make soups, slow cooker meals, and yummy desserts. I even get excited for Starbucks holiday drinks (So much so it's a little pathetic). Just like with clothes, I like an excuse to switch things up. Fresh summer foods are great, but it's fun to fire up the oven, plug in the slow cooker, and make some hearty meals.

6. Football - NOT! (Ronnie loves football...me? Not so much! I'll be excited for my TV back in February. Well, for a second until March madness starts up!

Anyone else looking forward to fall? Or am I crazy and the only one?

This Kid Can Eat!

Our little love definitely takes after her parents when it comes to eating. She eats everything...and loves it. She loves everything about the process of eating. From the time you sit her in her bumbo and attach the tray, to when you pull out the baby food and spoon, until you start feeding her, she flails her arms and squeals. When you go to give her the first bite, it's like she can't get it into her mouth fast enough - as if we haven't fed her in weeks. She will try anything you put in front of her. She'll eat any fruit or veggie. She'll try licks of any food or sauce we're eating. If it's edible, she'll eat it.

So far she has some some preferences. Her favorites so far are avocado, apples and squash. She also totally dug licks of peppered beef sauce, curry, you name it! We don't give her more than a lick of these things, yet, to avoid tummy upsets, but we have her try pretty much everything.

We make some of her food and use jarred baby food. It just depends on the food. I would make all of her food, but sometimes laziness gets the best of me. The thing I like about making my own food is that I can vary the texture (she likes some chunk in her food) and there's something nice about it being made fresh. However, it is a bit annoying trying to make small portions (I'd prefer not to freeze and thaw) and sometimes I'm just plain LAZY!

Mckenna doesn't only love the food, but the means by which she eats as well. She LOVES spoons. She's constantly trying to "help" us feed her by holding the spoon while we feed her. And then after each meal she likes to "clean the spoon" AKA sitting and sucking on the spoon while mom throws away/cleans the bowls or jars.

So all that said, I'll share a video of our little eater eating avocado...her favorite.





....Ok so as you can see, something was amiss! We thought maybe it was the garlic strainer we resorted to to get it "mashed"(We were struggling - normally it will just mash with a fork). But upon tasting it, we realized that it was SO hard to mash because it was NOT AT ALL RIPE (we thought our veggie drawer froze it a bit). WHOOPS!! Apparently avocado that's not ripe tastes AWFUL!

Easter Basket Photoshoot

We decided to have a little fun with Mckenna's first Easter basket. We are certainly not professional photographers, but we figured we could set up a white sheet, put her on it with her first Easter Basket, point, and shoot. Here are some of our favorites:

Your Body; A Machine

Do you ever have those things that someone says to you that really stick with you? They maybe said something that wasn't even meant to be impactful or it could have been said in passing, but for some reason it stick with you?

I had a soccer coach once, that was a huge jerk. He was just plain mean. But he said something once that has stuck with me for over 10 years, and I use it to fuel myself at least once a week while I'm working out. During a pre-season practice, we were running suicides. In typical high school girl fashion, many of us were complaining about how hot it was and how we couldn't go on. He looked at us and said, "Girls, your body is unlike any other machine. It will adapt to the stresses you put on it." And then I'm sure went on to chew us out and belittle us...he was a major jerk :)

But those few words have been etched into my being at this point. During a run, when I feel like my legs are jelly and I simply can't go any farther, I say to myself, "your body is unlike any other machine. It will adapt to the stresses you put on it." When I was in labor and getting ready to push, scared I said to myself, "your body is unlike any other machine. It will adapt to the stresses you put on it." When I'm running with Ronnie and he looks like he wants to die, I say to him, "your body is unlike any other machine. It will adapt to the stresses you put on it" (which I'm sure he just loves to hear when he's pulling for air).

I love everything about this quote and what it means. My body is a crazy awesome machine. Most machines were made to do a simple tasks or a series of tasks. Those machines, once made, can't add new skills, get better, change what they do. But my body can. My body was made to adapt to the stresses put on it. When I run an extra mile, my body makes changes so the next time that extra mile will be easier. When I lift heavier weights, my body builds more muscle to accommodate for that weight. Everyone's body is like this. Some people's bodies take longer to adapt or are slower to improve, but everyone's body was built to adapt to the stresses put on it...so everyone can improve! I love that. I love knowing I can push my body and it will adjust to make it easier for me.

Do you have a quote that you've heard that sticks with you over the years that inspires you? Pass it along, I need more fuel for my self talk during workouts!

Separation Anxiety At Its (Not So) Finest

Two of our dear friends go married on Saturday (Congrats Bryan and Shay). We decided to leave Mckenna at home and Grandma (Ronnie's mom) was nice enough to drive up from Tucson to babysit for the day, spend the night, and then head back down to Tucson Sunday. Ronnie's brother, Grant, also came along, in case reinforcements were needed...and boy were reinforcements needed!

I was a bridesmaid, so I took off for the wedding venue to get ready with all the girls around 9AM. Ronnie spent the morning with Mckenna and then headed out for the wedding around 3:30PM. When Ronnie left...the wheels totally came off the wagon. Mckenna began to cry. They said she pretty much just cried and looked around for us...ALL DAY LONG. She stopped crying to drink minimal amounts of milk, take two 30-minute naps, and for a few minutes at a time when they could distract her just enough. But as soon as she'd look at them, and realize it wasn't one of us, she'd lose it again. Finally around bedtime, after crying through her bath (she never cried during bath time...bath time is her favorite) we told Grandma (after receiving a text saying she won't stop crying) to just give her as much of the bottle as she'll take, swaddle her, lay her down, turn off the monitor and watch TV. Luckily she was looking forward to bedtime just as much as Grandma and Grant were. As soon as she was swaddled she relaxed, and she went down no problem.

Poor Grandma and Grant. A crying baby, let alone a crying baby for HOURS ON END, can really start to wear on you. Apparently someone (cough cough Mckenna) needs a little dose of reality and we need to get out of the house more. I now just can't decided who our next victim will be that we'll leave her with. Ah..what to do? What to do?

Finishing WELL

At church yesterday we had a guest pastor speak. He spoke to something that really struck a cord in me and got me thinking. He spoke to the concept of finishing well. Not just finishing, but finishing well. And we looked at 1 Corinthians 9:24 that says, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." The key to that verse is "run in such a way as to get the prize," he said. This really made me do some self reflection. Am I living in such a way that I would get the prize? I'm not just talking in my walk with Christ...which is obviously the most important. But in my life in general I'm not so sure. Yikes...talk about a depressing thought for a competitive girl who likes to win. I am so good at starting off strong when I do things. I'm passionate. I get fired up. I jump into things with both feet, often times without thinking (isn't that right mom and dad? They had to watch me work out the kinks of this eagerness as I fumbled my way through mistakes in middle school and high school).

As I sat in the sermon I thought back on many things in my life that I started great, but didn't finish so well. Of course there are times when I've finished well, but am I finishing well the things that truly matter? Will I look back on 30 years of marriage and feel like I was as good of a wife in year 29 as I was in year 1? I hope so, but judging by the fact that I'm already not as helpful, and eager to please in year 2 than as in year 1...I'm not so sure...unless things change. Will Mckenna think I was as loving, fun, attentive and on fire as a mom when she's in high school as she does now (ok maybe looking back on her high school years, she'll probably hate me for a period as her curfew is earlier than all her friends and "she can't do anything"...haha!). I hope so, but I'll have to make the conscious effort to continue to give it my all.

In sitting and reflecting on his words, I realized just how hard it is to finish well, judging by the fact that so many times I haven't. But I think that's why it's so important - especially in my walk with Christ. I think the things to be the most proud of are the things that most people can't do. I think the things that brings God the most joy are the things that He knows take work and sacrifice. And the biggest thing I realized is that of course He cares if I finish well in my relationship with Him and in doing His work, but I think He also cares that I finish well all of my worldly commitments also. I think He wants me to start my exercise regime with gusto and finish it that way. I think He wants me to be a good friend to someone, not just in the beginning, but always. I think He wants me to lay on my death bed having finished strong as a sister, wife, mom, daughter, etc.

So I'm choosing today to start well...AND finish well. Yesterday's sermon gave me a new fire to continue the things I have continued to do well. And to pick up the slack on the things I have started to let slip. I want the prize!!

Nighttime Waking

You may think this is a blog about Mckenna and her nighttime sleep habits. However, this blog has nothing to do with Mckenna, and everything to do with my hubby.

As some of you may have read in the past, Ronnie sleeps with oxygen at night. A few years back, he told his doctors that he often woke up with headaches, so they did a sleep study and found that his sats were dropping at night...hence the headaches. So ever since then he's been sleeping with 2 liters of oxygen, breathed in through a nasal cannula. Ever since he started sleeping with oxygen he sleeps so much deeper, better, quieter and wakes up with no headaches.

You may ask yourself, "quieter?!" And the answer is, "yes...quieter!" I'm sure most of you CF spouses, and maybe some parents, can related. There is a certain "snore" that Ronnie does sans oxygen. It's a half snore, have gasp sound, that is loud enough to make it hard to sleep. He's slightly loud when he's sleeping on his sides and really loud when he's on his back.

So I'm sure you're wondering why I'm posting this and what it has to do with me. I am the oxygen police. In the night if I hear loud breathing, I reach over and feel his face to see where the cannula is; when I get back into bed after feeding Mckenna, I feel his face; when I go to the bathroom and come back to bed; I check his face when I hear a "pufffshhhhhhhh" sound (which is almost alway the nasal cannula blowing into his eyes); I feel his face when he's breathing really loud. I feel his face and wake him to fix his oxygen at least 2-3 times a night. I do it for him (so he sleeps better) and I do it for me (so I sleep better not listening to him). Annnnd I also do it because when he's slightly awake I can say, "snuggle me," and he will! Hehe!

What's the point of this post? There isn't one. Other than maybe if you or your loved one wakes up with headaches it may be a good time to do a sleep study. And I'd love to hear from those of you who wear oxygen at night...where all have you found your nasal cannulas? I'm often shocked where I end up finding Ronnie's. Anyone have tips for keeping it in place?

Mckenna Monday: Back in a Groove

Well it's been awhile since I've written, so I figured I'd chime in and let you know what's been happening with me, now that I'm a big, bad 4.5 month old.

I got into a bit of a rut while daddy was in the hospital. I think I was overstimulated during the day since I was in a fun place with lots of new things to look at and tons of new faces smiling at me, so I didn't nap well, and then at night, sleeping at grandma's, I just couldn't sleep. It was hot, and then cold and then REALLY hot, and then REALLY cold all night. There were different sounds. The pack 'n play just isn't as comfy as my crib at home and my routine all day had been thrown off, so I slept horribly. I was up every hour or so, and would only really sleep if I was in mom's arms. She was nice and let me nurse pretty much all night, which I loved because that was the one thing that felt familiar and comfortable so that's all I wanted all night long. Anywhoo, after dad got out of that fun place with all the cool things, I think they called it a hospital, I was still just out of my groove for another 4 or 5 nights. And then, like magic, I was able to sleep again like before. I swear mom loves me a little more those nights. She doesn't know I can tell, but she sure is happy to see me when I get up in the morning. Now I go to bed between 8:30 and 9, wake up to eat once and then get up for the day between 7:30 and 8:15. Ah I feel good when I sleep well.

And all this sleep is making me one big baby. They were a bit worried at my 4 month checkup that I dropped from between the 25th and 50th percentile to between the 10th to the 25th. Mom wasn't worried. She could see all my rolls and that I was happy, so she brushed it off as if the doctors didn't know what they were talking about (it probably helped ease her mind that I was in the 5th percentile when born, and just happened to shoot up because of her oversupply issue, so she felt like I was finally where I should be). Anyways, to just be sure I didn't keep dropping in percentiles, I went back last Friday for a weight check. Wouldn't you know it, I gained a pound - putting me at 12lbs 11oz like a big girl. They were happy with that and mom said "I told you so" with her eyes...I already recognize her "I told you so" face...which I'm not sure is a good thing because I think I may be in for a lot of those when I hit high school.

Lastly, I want to tell you about all my tricks. I roll tummy to back, sit up when holding myself with my arms for added support, play with toys hanging in front of me while I'm on my belly, skootch around my playmat to get to different toys I want to play with (although sometimes I skootch off the mat so I can get a better view of the TV), and I love talking to my mom and dad! The new trick I'm working on is rolling back to front. I'm getting close, but mom says it'll be another month...I'll show her and then give her MY "I told you so" face!!

That's it from me. Oh, one more thing, I'm still swaddled at night...any tips for how to get my out of it AND me still be able to sleep?

Eyes Open: A REAL Eternal Optimist

Ronnie and I are doing an bible study, Experiencing God, with a small group. It's pretty cool. Our church is doing a Sunday sermon series that ties in, and then all small groups (and even some new ones) are doing the workbook that goes along with it. Way cool: over 1600 people bought workbooks and over 600 bought devotionals...just an aside.

So in our small group this week, the conversation turned to challenges. Ronnie said, "You know, I always question how close I am to God because there are so many examples where God gave challenges to strong men in the bible. And pastors say, if you haven't been given challenges or hardship in your life, you maybe aren't being used by God because He often gives challenges to build character before He uses you. And I think, well shoot, why have I not been given challenges?"

...um what?!

I couldn't help but laugh a bit, and then replied, "umm I think probably CF is your thing?!" (that and having to live life with his face..HAHA I KID). Everyone in the group chimed in with, "yeah, I think probably so" comments. And then I started thinking. Man, when Ronnie says he thinks CF is a blessing, he REALLY thinks CF is a blessing. It doesn't even cross his mind that CF would be considered by most to be a challenge or hardship.

This realization stopped me in my tracks. I'm thankful for CF. I thankful for the man it made Ronnie. I'm thankful for the perspective it brings to our lives. I'm thankful for all the people I've met as a result. But I can tell you if you asked me about the biggest challenge in our lives, CF would be the first to pop into my head. And as I digested the statement and my own thoughts surrounding the topic, I began to feel a little twinge of envy. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. What must it feel like to be SO positive about anything and everything in your life that even with something like CF, you don't think you have challenges?

I am not wired like Ronnie. I am a worrier. I often jump to worst case scenarios. I find it easier to initially see the negative than the positive. I'm certainly not a negative Nancy, and try to be positive and an optimist, but it certainly doesn't come as naturally as it does for Ronnie. I hope the longer I know Ronnie, the more he'll rub off on me. What a blessing to have that perspective. So this week, I'm going to work on my perspective. I'm putting on my rose colored glasses and will try to never take them off. Ha!

PS - If you talk to Ronnie, don't mention this post, as I'm hoping he doesn't see it...I don't want to stroke his ego ;-)

Cha..Cha..Cha...Changes

Ronnie's going in for a tune-up soon, and man, I'm scared. I'm not going to sugar coat it at all. I'm really nervous about it. Wow, nothing like just coming out with it..boom...my insecurities right in your face on this lovely Monday morning. Ha!

We have always been very vocal about the fact that we kind of look forward to hospital stays in the Sharpe household. They have always been a time when we can take a hiatus from the normal routine; spend time "camping" together; reconnect; etc. But this hospital stay with be the first of the NEW hospital stays - now that Mckenna is here. We don't quite know how it will look exactly, but being the planner I am, I've sure tried to predict what it'll be like and how it will all work. Mckenna and I will likely split our time between home and visiting Ronnie, but it will just be during the day, and at night I'll be staying at home or at Ronnie's parent's house. We don't know what nights we'll spend where quite yet, but we do know it wouldn't be in the hospital, as the hospital isn't quite the ideal place for a 3 month old to sleep. And I may be the only person on earth to say this, but I'm sad that I don't get to spend the nights there anymore. I loved sleeping on my little cot, tucked in the corner. I loved calling out, "goodnight. I love you," before bed and waking up to see my love zonked out. But I'm looking at the bright side, Mckenna's sweet face is a close second to wake up to :)

Not only will nights be different. But instead of unplugging a bit during hospital stays, now I'll be increasing my "work load." Becoming a single momma for several days a week, and 7 nights a week, on top of having to work will be very interesting, to say the least. I know I will figure it out, but it will be quite the adjustment to figure out how to navigate being the sole caregiver while working. I know I can manage, but it'll take a little to get the hang of. Luckily my workplace is AWESOME and truly practice what they preach when they say family first. So when I'm down with Ronnie (my office is down there), I can bring Mckenna to work with me, which will be a huge blessing. The real challenge will be sneaking work in during naps, and while she's playing independently. Everything besides Mckenna and work will fall by the way-side I'm afraid.

The nice thing is some of my favorite hospital traditions can still happen. We can still do Dunkin' on the mornings I'm there. We can still get in long, fun walks. We can't still snuggle in his tiny bed - and even better, we'll have a third there with us! We can still walk down and get freshly baked cookies from the cafeteria. We can still listen to John Jay and Rich radio show podcasts. We can still do tons of my favorite things. So I'm trying to focus on that, when I start to get bummed and scared about what this hospital stay will bring.

Anywhoo, there you have it. I'm scared, but a tiny bit excited to see just what I can do on my own (gulp - I'm not quite supermom yet). I think the fact that this post is a bit all over the place shows the chaos that is my brain trying to noodle through how it'll all work. Leave some suggestions if you've got 'em!

Permission to Nag

There are many things I love about Ronnie (obviously, I did choose to marry him after all). One of the things I really love and respect about him is the fact that he is very self aware, especially when it comes to taking care of himself. Let me explain.

I think it's easy to kid ourselves when it comes to how we're doing at taking care of ourselves. For example, I may feel like I'm eating really healthy, and then I sit down and write what I've eaten for the last few days, and soon realize that I've probably had 3 too many handfuls of chocolate chips, not nearly enough fruits and veggies, and slacked on water consumption. Or I may think I'm doing well with my working out, but realize I've gone to the gym half as much as I did while pregnant. These explains seem a little detailed? That would be because in writing this I did a bit of self reflection...yikes! It's easy to have our perceptions be way off from reality when it comes to how we're taking care of ourselves. I'm definitely guilty of this!

Somehow (probably not a fluke, I'm sure it's the way God wired him, knowing he'd have CF and how important it'd be) Ronnie is very aware of how he's doing when it comes to taking care of himself. He knows when he's slacking and he knows when he's kickin' booty. The best part is, when he knows he's slacking, he makes every effort to get back on track. I totally love that about him. Just yesterday he said, "hey honey, call me out about doing my treatments and getting to the gym this week. I can feel myself slipping a bit." How many people ask their spouse to be a nag and call them out? I'll answer that for you, not many. But he knows how important it is for him to go above and beyond to take care of himself as best as humanly possible. And you know what I love even more? "Slipping" meant he was only doing 3 treatments and he wants to do 4, even though his doctors only have asked him to do 2. And he's been going to the gym 4-5 times, instead of 5-6. Even though he was doing well, he was aware of the fact he wasn't doing as well as he should, and recognized he needed some external motivation to get him going. The natural born nag in me was thrilled...permission to nag?! You got it!

It's all too easy to kid ourselves about how healthy or unhealthy we're living (CF or not). And sometimes it's hard to get back on the wagon alone. So this week, do as we're doing, give someone in your life permission to be a nag.