He Said, She Said: The Day We Met

After being reminded by my wonderful mother-in-law about the first time they ever heard me mentioned, I thought I would write up a quick blog about how Mandi and I met.

On June 27th, 2008 I got a call from a friend about meeting up with the group for a movie and some drinks. I politely declined as I was determined to spend the next few months holed up in my house and have no resemblance of a social life. Well, I guess you need the backstory on that...

Just one week prior, my girlfriend of over two years and I decided that it would be best to go our separate ways. We had a good relationship, no real issues to speak of, but we knew that it was not a forever type of a thing and continuing the relationship would be futile. I was more sad about losing a friend and someone I enjoyed hanging out with than I was about losing a girlfriend. 

After breaking-up, I did a lot of soul-searching and praying and something became very clear to me - I wasn't dating the way God would want me to date and I wasn't dating the type of girls God would want me to date. It's very clear that God wants us to be equally yoked, meaning that both the man and the woman are going in the same direction towards the same God. Even though I had been a part of the church my entire life and had been in relationship with Jesus since my youth, I had yet to date or be in relationship with someone I was equally yoked with. I dated plenty of nice girls, just never the right girl. Ultimately, I knew that if I wanted a life-long successful marriage I would have to find a woman who was in-love with Jesus as much as I was.

I vividly remember humbling myself before God and asking for forgiveness by the way I had been dating. I knew I wasn't dating His way. I also knew that if I ever wanted true success, I would have to date His way. 

And now back to June 27th...so I declined to meet up with my friends that day because I had a history of not being able to be social, without meeting someone. I know that sounds stupid, but I very rarely had no one around. I pretty much had a girlfriend, someone I was "dating" or "just a friend" from 1994 to June 2008. I was pretty sure that being alone for a while was exactly what God wanted me to do. Well, He of course had different plans.

After repeated calls and requests from my friends that day, I finally said "yes" to going to the movie after I was promised that I could show up when the movie started and leave when it was finished. Sounded pretty harmless to me, and since you can't talk through a movie, I figured I was in the clear.

I showed up to the movie theater with about 5 minutes to spare and found my friends who were already sitting in their seats. I gave the obligatory wave and hello and sat down next to my buddy Bryan at the end of the row. I knew everyone who was there, except I couldn't quite pinpoint who the girl sitting next to Bryan was. I had met her before, but only briefly and had no idea what her name was. Being the gentleman that I am, I introduced myself to which she responded, "I'm Mandi and we're going to get married one day." Just kidding. She just told me her name and reminded me that she was Bryan's roommate's little sister.

I honestly don't remember if Mandi and I talked before the movie started, but I do know that she laughed at basically anything I said to the group or to Bryan. At the very least, I was happy to have her around because I'm pretty sure my friends were tired of my jokes. In my mind, anyone who made me feel like I was funny deserved a spot in the group :) 

After the movie was done (I have no idea what movie it was), I decided to join my friends at a little wine lounge close to the movie theater. 

To be continued...

Ronnie decided a he said-she said was in order after a little discussion unfolded on a picture he posted on Facebook. The picture was of how hideous his face was the first 6 months we dated. HA! I kid…eh actually I’m not kidding. It was ridiculous. But the conversation wasn’t really about that. It was between my mom and Ronnie about what in the world they must have been thinking the weekend we met. Ronnie and my parents got off to a “rocky start” (kind of, not really)…and Ronnie thought it’d be good to share the happenings of that first weekend. To really spice things up, we should ask my mom and dad to each write their accounts of that weekend. Hm, now that I think about it…that may be needed.

So, onto that first weekend. And apparently, I’ve just been informed just that first night…for now.

June 27^th, 2008^th I was home for the summer. I went to school at Syracuse University, but my parents and brother all lived in Arizona, so that’s where I spent my breaks.

My parents moved to Arizona after my freshman year of college and my brother happened to get a job here after he graduated from Penn State. I didn’t know anyone here, but since my brother lived here and had made friends, I tagged along with him. His friends soon became my friends. My brother is an incredible guy. I always loved him when we were younger, but as I grew up, I learned to appreciate my brother even more. He’s a man of incredible character. He is endlessly funny. He is compassionate and fun to be around. He is his own person. He always has been. What you see is what you get when it comes to Josh. It is probably his most endearing quality. He is a social guy, but not a guy to hang out with people just for the sake of being with people. He has always been the type to hold friends near and carefully select who he spends a bulk of his time with. I knew anyone he chose to surround himself with would be a person that was worthy of friendship. In a way, he did all the work for me. I would come home from college and knew that I was spending my days with some of the best people to be found in Phoenix. He doesn’t know this, but one of my favorite parts about college breaks was the fact that I would come home, and get to spend time with my brother in a way I never had before. I got to spend time with my brother as my friend. It completely transformed our relationship in a way I cherish. But anyways, that’s not the point of this blog, I can love on him in another blog. The point is, I came home from college and hung out with my brother and my brother’s friends…who I knew must be good people if Josh was choosing to spend time with them. Fast forward…

That Friday night, June 27^th, we decided to go to a movie. It was my brother, my brother’s then roommate, Bryan, and maybe one other friend (how’s that for memory?) Bryan mentioned that maybe one other friend of his would be joining us. We saved a seat for him…whoever he was. I didn’t recognize the name, but figured if he was friends with my brother’s friends, he must be a cool guy. Bryan’s friend showed up after the previews started. He sat down next to Bryan, who was sitting next to me. Killing time waiting for the movie to start, he began chatting with all of us. For some reason he was throwing out brainteasers, not my strongest area. I kept my mouth shut. My genius brother (I am not being sarcastic, he’s really smart…), on the other hand, ate them up. Bryan’s friend cracked jokes as the conversation unfolded. He was funny. Really funny. “What was his name again?” I thought. I hadn’t really paid much attention, until he opened his mouth and was one of the funniest people I had ever met. I love a sense of humor. Every girl has an Achilles heel when it comes to guys. For some it’s looks, for others it’s money…for me, it’s a sense of humor. If you can make me laugh, you are a winner in my book. I’ve dated guys about as varied as you can find…some short, some tall, some rich, some poor, some smart, some really, really, really dumb (yes, it was that bad). But they all were funny. So anyways, as soon as I realized how funny he was, I took notice. It was too dark to really tell much else about him. I couldn’t really tell if he was tall or short; he was sitting. I couldn’t tell if he was good looking or ugly; it was dark. But he was funny. I got nervous. Really nervous. I’m not sure why, but I clammed up and was afraid to talk because I didn’t want to make a stupid joke. I’m not not funny, but I’m not the funniest person you’ll ever meet, which means I fall right in the sweet spot where I make a lot of really, really, not-funny-at-all jokes. And I’m cool with that. I own it…once I know someone. But this guy was really, really funny. Really, really funny people hate stupid jokes. So I shut up.

….then the movie started. 

To be continued...

Question from Reader: When Cystic Fibrosis Impacts Our Relationships

As you guys know, I love answering questions on topics I have experience in. I've been blessed to have had many great relationships in my life, and now, I'm able to call the most awesomest girl on the planet MY WIFE (still can't believe it)! We all know that cystic fibrosis can impact our relationships - both positively and negatively. This particular question comes from a fellow fibro who was recently heart broken when his girlfriend of 6 months decided that CF, and the possible implications and impacts of the disease, was more than she could handle.

Hello Ronnie,

I have cystic fibrosis as well. You have been a huge inspiration to me both physically regarding CF and spiritually. I apologize for not introducing myself sooner.

However, the reason I am messaging you is because I have a broken heart. My girlfriend of 6 months told me this evening that she could not see herself marrying me because if we had children (through assisted fertilization) I might die before they get a chance to grow up. We have had that discussion  before and she was devastated but I thought she had come to accept it. For the last month or so she has been saying that we need to break up and she would never give me a reason and her actions contradicted her words of "we need to break up" because everything she does indicates she still wants to be with me. Tonight she finally broke down and told me its because she doesn't want kids to grow up without a dad and also the fact that intro vitro fertilization (sorry if I misspelled anything, my knowledge on the matter is limited) is so expensive.

Is it wrong of me to expect her to be okay with the unsure future? I'm devastated.

I have come to you seeking advice because I know you have been through this, you have a beautiful daughter, and your life example (through my perspective on Facebook) leads me to believe that  you have the experience to help me.

Sorry to hear about this [name withheld]. I can only share with you my own experience and hopefully it can help a bit.

Very early on in our dating life, Mandi caught me off guard by saying, "I wouldn't marry you unless I was totally comfortable with being a young widow."

I was shocked that she would even think about this, but, that's because I don't have an "outsiders" perspective, and frankly, I'm a man. We men generally don't think for the future, we think for the present. Women on the other hand are wired a completely different way.

It takes a very special woman to commit their lives to a man with CF. Our life is simply different. There are sacrifices we have to make as a couple that no other couple has to worry about. And, there is the prospective of an untimely death that would leave them all by themselves for an undetermined amount of time.

So, to answer your question - Yes, it is wrong of you to expect her to be comfortable with being a young widow and/or a single mother. Most girls won't be comfortable with that. Is it a reality that it could happen? Sure. Are we planning on it? Absolutely not!!

Her worry about IVF being expensive is just noise and her grasping at straws. You can figure out the money part.

I'd be thankful that this is only coming down at 6 months into the relationship. I understand that the pain is real, the hurt is real and you're not feeling great, but it could have been much worse. Imagine if you were engaged when she realized this?

Sometimes, God places something on the heart of the girl who is wrong for us. The wrong girl needs to be out of the picture before the right girl can enter it.

One week before I met my future wife, my girlfriend and I of over 2 years broke-up. I wasn't happy about it at the time. But, looking back, I thank the Lord that He ended that relationship when He did.

Hope this helps and please let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Cystic Fibrosis and Relationships: How Do We Communicate?

Guest post by Katie Broekema

Hello everyone! This is Katie, I am back again to tell you what is going on in my life right now. To see some of the lessons I have learned from cystic fibrosis and running, click here.

If you read my bio, you saw that I am currently a graduate student at Central Michigan University. But what my bio does not tell you is the path that I took to get there. I have always thought that school was something to do to get you where you want to go, but when I was a senior in college I realized I had no idea where I wanted to go. I was a computer science and communication major; do not ask me why or how, because I could not tell you. I just fell into both fields thinking I would find what I wanted to do, and then suddenly it was graduation time and I still had no idea. Sometime early in the fall semester I followed my nose to a meeting. I had no idea what was going on, all I knew was that there was Pizza Hut pizza there; I slowly learned it was a graduate communication program recruitment visit from CMU. I figured there was no harm in applying for the program; I was shocked when I was accepted with a graduate assistantship. So I went into this program with the idea that this would buy me 2 more years to discover what I wanted to do. I have just finished my first year of that program, and I now have a totally different attitude. I know what I want to do with the rest of my life! It is thus amazing feeling, like a total sense of euphoria. I actually enjoy reading thousands of article pages: I am looking forward to writing my 150 page thesis. So now you may be asking yourself, what is this magical area of interest? Well I will tell you; it is Cystic Fibrosis.

It started out so innocently; I had to write a class paper so I picked something that I knew about and that I thought would be easy, how people with Cystic Fibrosis communicate. I did this all the time in science classes and when I had to give speeches, why would it not work now? I was duped in this process, but in a good way. Once I began my research, I remembered a conversation that I had several years ago with a high school girl who had Cystic Fibrosis. She asked me how I had told my boyfriend about my Cystic Fibrosis, because she also had Cystic Fibrosis and she wanted to tell this guy but she did not know how. This sparked my interest in how to share Cystic Fibrosis-related information with a significant other, and it is a topic that has become my thesis project. Right now I am in the process of collecting background information and starting the writing process, but as soon as that is done I would like to begin collecting data. This is where all you readers come in; I really want to talk to you and hear your thoughts! I am hoping that by the end of the summer I will be able to start interviewing people. If this is something that you are at all interested in being a part of, please send me an email at Broekema.ka@gmail.com

This initial topic has grown much more than I would have ever imagined. As I was doing my research I realized there is no research connecting communication and Cystic Fibrosis or any other genetic diseases. Having a genetic disease presents a unique set of variables and situations that need to be navigated, but there is lack of research on how this all is communicated. Therefore, I am in the beginning stages of many other research ideas involving Cystic Fibrosis and communication. If you would like to be involved, or if you have another area that you think really needs attention, let me know. My goal with my research is not to do research for research-sake, but for the real application into the lives of people with Cystic Fibrosis. So letting me know what you think is incredibly important and makes what I am doing matter. If you have any ideas, please send me an email. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions.

Thank you all so much in advance for your help, and thank you Ronnie for letting me share my thoughts in your blog. It was such a great honor to write this for RSBR and this blog is really making a difference in a lot of people’s lives.

BIO: Katie is 22 years old and has lived in Michigan her whole life. She graduated from Albion College with a double major in computer science and communication, and she is currently working on a Master’s degree from Central Michigan University in communication; with a focus on health communication. In her spare time, Katie enjoys finding new research topics, preparing to teach her COM 101 classes, helping coach the local high school cross country and track teams, running, cooking and convincing various family members that they should get her a Pomsky puppy. (Look them up, they are adorable!) She would love to hear back from people who have read her posts, her email is Broekema.ka@gmail.com

Note from Ronnie: I would just like to thank Katie for submitting, not one, but TWO great guest posts. I hope she was able to inspire some of you to get out and get active after reading what she has learned through running with Cystic Fibrosis. Also, anyone who is interested in contributing to her thesis, please email her to "get in on the action". I believe this is a very important topic that needs to be explored and I'm really looking forward to what her research brings forth.

Question from Reader: Relationship Roles and Boundaries

Question: 

Hi Ronnie! I didn't know where to ask this question and thought it would be one to hear your (and other CFer's) thoughts on! 

As we all know, having CF is not just an illness or an excuse to eat whatever we want, but also a responsibility. This responsibility is ours and our families burden and requires a lot of support. I'm having trouble with how much this responsibility spills onto other. Like friends, and let's be honest, mostly BOYfriends. I don't feel it's okay to place such a burden on someone you've just met, so I normally wait a while. But since being at college it's hard to find the balance between what I tell them (him) and what I don't. When it comes down to it, if you're spending a lot of time with me you're spending a lot of time with me at the doctor, doing my therapies and reminding me to take my enzymes. I'm wondering how you find the balance between what they should know/do for you/ worry about and how to stop it if you think they're over stepping? 

Answer:

Here's my rule-of-thumb: I only hide stuff I am embarrassed about. Since I've never been embarrassed about CF, I was always very open about it with anyone I thought I would spend more than a few days with.

As far as other people, "loving" or accepting this life, I've been there. What I always said to myself was "If I really loved them, I wouldn't bring them into this life with me". I mean, I love and embrace CF, but that doesn't mean they have to.

That changed when I met me wife. She told me that she fell in-love with me BECAUSE of CF not in spite of it. She's convinced it played a huge role in shaping me into the man that she fell in-love with. Frankly, I can't disagree with her on that.

To answer your questions...

1.  What should they know? If it's a serious relationship, everything. Not telling someone we care about everything about something that's such an integral part of our lives would be akin to lying. Just think about it this way, if the shoe were on the other foot, would you want him to leave anything out?

2.  What do I want someone who I'm in a relationship to do for me? Well, the answer might depend on wether you're a guy or a girl, but I know for me, I don't mind being "taken care of". Maybe my mom did too good of a job with me growing up or something, because I don't mind at all when my wife steps up to the plate and does "health stuff" for me. Mandi is great about putting my health #1 and reminding me that they need me to be healthy in order to best serve my family.

3.  We will never be in a place in which we're able to control what anybody else worries about. Mandi may say she's not worried about my health or about the future, but how do I really know? Here's what I do know however, the only way I can control any amount of worry is by showing her that I'm doing anything and everything to put myself in the best position to succeed with my health.

4.  How do we tell loved ones they're overstepping their role? As honestly, lovingly and straight-forward as possible :) I've found that with any sort of communication in a relationship that with those three things guiding your words, you can't go wrong!

Hope this helps a bit.

So When Do We Tell Our Friends About CF?

Here is an email exchange between a reader and myself about the struggle of wondering when to introduce new friends to our Cystic Fibrosis:

i just realized something, ive made so many videos while i was in the hospital, and NONE of them were about cf...wow! i get so mad that theres no cf awareness in the world and i HAVE cf, and im not even doing anything about it, thats sad. its just i dont wanna be know as the boy with cf, i wanna be know as casey the funny kid. ya know? so i never really thought about making cf videos or telling ppl ALL about cf. this is my strategy when i meet someone new; i give them my name, and say a bunch of stuff to make them laugh, then talk to them for a few days after a few weeks were hangin out with other friends...THEN i tell them i have CF. i let them get to know me for me before i let them know i have cf, and ive realized the ppl i tell right away treat me WAY different from the ppl i tell later on. i have no idea where i was going with this, BUT this is just something i've always went through, and i know from your "CF doesnt define me" blog, you do kinda the same thing.

Response:

Don't worry about being Mr. Awareness for CF, we all get comfortable at different rates. Here's the deal though, we're not contagious so people have no reason to fear us. Also, it's important that YOU explain YOUR CF to people and that they don't "google" it to find out what it is. If they do that they'll probably wonder why you're still alive :) People's reaction to CF is generally a reflection with how we feel about CF. If we seem scared, or sad, or make it a big deal, that's exactly what the people we tell will do. When I tell somebody about CF I usually downplay it a bit, but not to the point that they don't think it's a serious illness that need support. I often tell people that it's like I have pneumonia and asthma all of the time. Everybody knows exactly what those two things are so they can automatically kind of understand what I'm talking about. People are scared and react in different ways to the "unknown", just make sure your friends know what it is. If they don't support you in that, then why in the world would you want them as friends? Know what I mean?

Most people in my high school knew I had CF, but I was also the class clown. That's just me. People know us for our personality. CF is not a personality trait unless you make it one. If you act like a victim, or have a bad attitude, or are a secretive person, it is often because of CF that you are that way. Then, CF becomes part of your personality and that's what people know you as. Who would want to be around a person with all of those negative traits? I know I wouldn't. If you don't make CF part of your personality or let it affect you negatively emotionally, people will only know you as (name withheld). Sure people may know that you HAVE CF, but they won't think that you ARE CF. There is a HUGE difference. See, I HAVE CF, but CF doesn't HAVE me.

Here's what I do as far as when to tell somebody I have CF (and I know that I'll see them again). Generally speaking I have a pretty good "in" if me and that person are at the same table for dinner or something. Know what I do? I pull out the enzymes and set them right on the table. 9 out of 10 times I get the question "what are those?". Then I tell them what they are, what they're for, and why I take them. Then I tell them about CF, but here's the key, I tell them about MY CF. I don't recite statistics or the same jargon you can get on any website about CF. They're not interested in being friends with CF, they want to be friends with me. So I go into MY CF experience; how it affects me. I promise that they care more about that then all of the statistics that they'll forget anyway. But I'm very open about my CF and then encourage them to ask any questions if any ones ever come into their mind because as I tell them "I'm an open book".

I haven't noticed a difference in how people treat me as to whether I tell them right away or not. But I cough a lot so it usually comes up pretty close after meeting someone. Plus, I figure the more people that know about it, the easier time the generations after me will have with explaining CF. Everything to do with CF, from acceptance, research dollars, a cure, education, and involvement stems from awareness. The more aware people are of this disease, the better of a chance we have.

I hope all of that makes sense. Don't hesitate to email me again.

Do Life,

Ronnie

**Originally "aired" on July 16th, 2009**

Today is a very special day

One year ago today, Mandi and I took a HUGE leap in our relationship and got engaged. It was certainly one of the most nerve wracking times of my life (as you can see on the video here), but also the best decision I have ever made. I can still remember picking up the ring at the jewelry store and just sitting in my truck for what seemed like hours staring at it. I can still remember all of the stories I had to give Mandi as to what I was doing to cover up for all my covert-ops to pick out the ring. Most importantly I can still recall all of the crazy emotions that I was feeling the days leading up to and the days after the engagement.

As I sit here and reflect on the year that has passed, I'd have to say that the best thing that has happened is those "new love" feelings haven't changed a bit. I still feel a rush every time Mandi walks into the room. When we were engaged I could look you in the eye and tell you without a shadow of a doubt that I had the best fiancee walking this planet. Now I can sit here and tell you that my wife is undoubtedly the best wife known to mankind. I'm just so proud to be her husband. I respect everything about her and am just floored that I actually landed her. She's WAY out of my league and I'm still trying to figure out what drug she was on to think I was an alright guy.

So Mandi, I love you, I cherish you and my love for you has never wavered and only gets stronger by the day. I still can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with you. Whether it's one year or 100 years, know that I will always live my life as if it was our final day. You deserve more than I could ever give, but I will spend every day of my life trying to show you, through my actions, that you've made me complete and I am forever grateful. Love you honey.

Let's just say we had our wires crossed...

First let me get some run updating out of the way before I launch into the story about Mandi and I getting our wires crossed (I think it's an entertaining story, but you can of course be the judge). Back to my personal run update: I've been improving on my pace ever since I got sprung from the Hole, but today I actually got worse by about 30 seconds. That's the bad news. Good news is that I ran the 1.8 mile loop with no walking breaks!!! Some of you are probably wondering how that happens (that I can take walking breaks yet have a better pace)? You see, for the past few days I've been doing a walk/sprint/run/walk/run/sprint kind of a thing. Today I just did a RUN kind of a thing! I'll still alternate between the two, because I really do enjoy the sprinting part, but today it was nice to try and keep the same pace the whole time. Mission accomplished!

Ok, now to me and my ever so lovely wife getting our wires crossed...

Ronnie: (totally out of breath after getting back from his run) Honey! I ran the whole time!!

Mandi: That's great babe! I'm so proud of you! (brief pause) Want to ride your bike while I go for my run?

R: Oh, you're going for a run?

M: Yeah, you motivated me.

R: Sweet! Let me go change my bike tire. (I put a "never flat" one on yesterday and I hate it)[Ronnie goes out to fix tire]

M: [Mandi comes into garage] Ready?

R: Yup, let's do it

M: Man, you've become a pro at changing that bike tire huh?

R: You know it

So we take off down the driveway and no more than 10 seconds into her run, my bike starts making all kinds of crazy noises.

R: Keep going, I'm going to see what's up with the bike. I'll catch up with you.

M: Ok

R: Where are you going?

M: Down E then left on Q

R: Ok

[Mandi is seen running down E as Ronnie returns to the garage]

So I get to the garage and flip the bike on it's bike side to discover that the chain is rubbing against the frame. I grab my handy bike tool, adjust the tire and everything looks good. I start going down the driveway, pedal once or twice and all of the sudden, my chain is around the pedal. Not good. Now I wheel the bike up to the driveway, thread the chain back around the pedal and onto the gear, flip the bike upside down, pedal the bike with my hands and the chain is rubbing again. Check Mandi's bike to see where her chain threads. Go back to my bike to see that it looks the same. Decide I'm an idiot (or as Mandi would say "a real pro at this tire changing thing") and just grab Mandi's bike.

Having no clue as to how much time has passed at this point, I decide that instead of going where Mandi was, I was going to go to where she was heading. I pedaled her little bike as fast as it would go, cutting across the entire neighborhood on Street M to Street C which meets up with Street Q. No Mandi. I then pedaled my butt off to street K knowing that she said it was going to be a shorter run and this was her shorter route. No Mandi. I go down to Street K thinking that Mandi must be incredibly fast until it intersects with Street M. No Mandi. Flip the bike around to go back down Street K until I get to Street C. Look both ways and there she is, waaaaaaaaay down Street C in the opposite direction of our house (her long route). I pedaled her little bike as fast as it would go because I know she doesn't like running alone at night. Then...nothing. Not only was it not her, it was literally nothing, a mirage of sorts. Flip the bike around and start pedaling up Street C to get to Street Q (no short distance mind you). Get to Street Q. Nothing. Turn down Street Q to head back towards the house and a half of a mile later I hit pay dirt!! (In total there was 4.12 miles of zig-zagged goodness).

Mandi: Where were you? (in a not so happy, out of breath, tone)

Ronnie: Looking for you! (in a matter of fact, out of breath, tone)

[At this point Mandi turn back to run towards the house as I ride beside her]

SILENCE ENSUES

[Back at the house]

Mandi: Where did you go?

Ronnie: [see above]

M: What happened to "I'll catch up with you?"

R: That's what I was trying to do!

M: But if all you did was drop off your bike and get mine...

R: That's not all that I did [give another brief version of the story]

M: So what, do you think I run a 7 minute mile?

R: I had no concept of time. I was trying to cut you off. I'm sorry.

M: I just don't know what happened with "I'll catch up with you"

R: Yeah, I know, I'm sorry but I've been riding my little butt of trying to find you. There certainly wasn't a lack of effort on my part. I mean, I had sweat running into my eyes and I couldn't wipe them because of the stupid grease on my hands from the bike chain.

M: You know I hate running at night. I was running all alone.

R: I know. That's why I tried to find you.

M: Why didn't you just go the way I went?

R: Because I was trying to be clever and cut you off. Next time I'll just go the way you went.

M: I've been running back and forth Street Q looking for you.

R: I know honey, I'm sorry.

SILENCE ENSUES

[roughly 3 minutes later]

Mandi: I'm sorry I got frustrated and I realize that you were probably just as scared as I was (while hugging me)

Ronnie: I wasn't scared.

M: Women running alone at night get kidnapped, I could have been kidnapped.

R: I passed three women running alone while looking for you and they were fine. (typical guy thing to say. idiot)

M: Then they're stupid.

R: I'm sorry that you were tired, running around looking for me.

M: I wasn't tired, just frustrated.

R: I'm sorry. Next time, I know just what to do. We just got our wires crossed.

M: Friends again?

R: Friends again.

M: You have grease on your forehead.

CUT SCENE

So that was my best recap of what unfolded. I'm sure Mandi has a different side of the story and I will say that I'm sure I left some parts out. I just thought it was funny and an interesting look into a silly "dispute" between Mandi and I. Hopefully you guys out there can learn from my mistakes :)

Sorry I bored you to tears. The end.

My Second Near-Death Experience

- I'm so thankful that our A/C got fixed and it didn't cost us an arm and a leg. Luckily it was just a leg this time, but we still have both arms. We're fortunate to have two A/C units but the unit that went out provides the cold air for the part of the house we actually spend our time in. It's responsible for our master bedroom, living room, kitchen and dining room. Like I said though, it certainly could have been much worse. We've been sleeping in the guest bedroom the last couple of nights but will be back in our bedroom tonight!! The guy fixed it in literally less than 10 minutes as it was just a little part that happens to run the fan. It completely gave out (in fact, it exploded). Hopefully this new one will stay intact for a VERY long time.

- We road our bikes up to Coldstone Creamery tonight as a little bit of a reward for all of our hard work in the garden today. It was incredibly hot and we were out there a good couple of hours doing everything from pruning, to cutting, to raking, to watering, to pulling, to pushing. We were both sweaty messes at the end of it, so we decided to treat ourselves. We took off up the road about a mile and a half eager to get our mouthes on the pure cold goodness. We seriously couldn't wait!! Well, not sure when it happened, but the ol' creamery went out of business. No cold goodness for us. We did our best to make up for it when we went home though with some homemade zucchini muffins and whipped cream. Mmmmm mmmmm good :)

- Mandi talked a little bit about married life on yesterday's and I've got to say, I couldn't agree more. Married. Life. Rocks. It just makes everything better. I mean, I've drank 1000000 cups of coffee, but I've never shared a cup with my wife and I never knew coffee could get even better. I've cooked with others in the past, but cooking with my wife is more enjoyable and I swear the food tastes better. In fact, Mandi and I have much of the same routine in terms of our work day and shows we watch during lunch breaks, yet the time I spend with her now just seems better. I have yet to be able to verbalize it correctly, but I think I got close the other night while trying to explain how I felt to Mandi. I told her it was much like a person who has a near death experience. Everything from that point on takes on a different meaning and all of the experiences just seem better. I think our wedding day was that near death experience for me...or did that just not sound right??

Top Ten Reasons To Get Married: Confidence

Here goes, the number 6 reason to get married:

No.6 - Marriage makes you more attractive

As our own Justin Prugh covered in his article, Why Do Single Women Like Taken Men, married men are more attractive to other women. Now, we're not suggesting that you should get married purely because it will make it easier to score with other women, but we are suggesting that marriage makes you appealing to the opposite sex. Because getting attention from beautiful women feels good, it's a confidence booster. Plus, when you go out with all of your single buddies, all of the hot women will be hitting on you. Who's laughing now?

Just when I didn't think that I could become any more attractive to the opposite sex I go and read this :) I'm pretty sure Mandi would tell you the last thing I need is a confidence booster, but getting hit on by "all of the hot women" doesn't sound too shabby. The way I see it, the more I ignore the droves of women heading my way, the more it confirms to Mandi how unbelievably stunning and perfect she is! Looks like everybody wins in this scenario. Am I missing something here?

Check out the intro to this list here.

Check out the number ten reason here.

Check out the number nine reason here.

Check out the number eight reason here.

Check out the number seven reason here.

Top Ten Reasons To Get Married: Partnership

Here goes, the number 7 reason to get married:

No.7 - Marriage prevents you from dying alone

Sure, you're on a hot streak right now, dating 20-year-old yoga instructors and bi-curious baristas, but we both know that's not going to last forever. How's being single going to work out for you when you're 60, when you have hair in all of the wrong places and no one can stand to look at you? Marriage is an investment in your future. Sure, you sacrifice some of your sweet single years, but in exchange you get to make a long-term investment in one person, building a deep, abiding love that has the potential to last a lifetime.

I feel like I'm getting a two-for-one on this number. Not only am I "making an investment" into a friendship that's going to last a lifetime, but I'm also getting the 20-year-old yoga instructor (she's 23 and doesn't teach yoga, but close enough :) ). I've never been worried about dying alone because I am surrounded by family that loves me, but to know that I'll now have my best friend, companion, lover and wife next to me through thick and thin brings me great joy.

Check out the intro to this list here.

Check out the number ten reason here.

Check out the number nine reason here.

Check out the number eight reason here.

The Ten Things That Make My (CF) Life Easier

This idea actually spun off from me thinking about how thankful I am for different things in my life. I then got to thinking about how much easier my (CF) life is because of certain things I've either bought, inherited, or stumbled upon. Here is the top ten, actually 16, and why I think they make my life better.

16. Good Veins- Having hoses running through my arms has given me the privilege of avoiding multiple sticks most of my life (except this time). I'm not sure if it's something I've done, or just inherited, but I do know that they have made my CF experience more enjoyable. I've had 30+ PICC lines though so who knows how much more they can take.

15. Foot Orthotics- The jury is still partially out on how much the orthotics will help me maintain my running schedule, but so far, so good. I haven't had any major pain to speak of since getting them made for me (Thank you POA and Lindsey).

14. Gyms- I've lived in Arizona my whole life and so far it's been 100+ degrees every summer. That's certainly not optimal outside work out weather. Luckily for me the concept of indoor gyms has been around since before I was born and I have taken full advantage of them. I've had a gym membership since I was 16 years old and although I have had several seasons of my life of consistently going and not going, the gym seems to always call me back to her.

13. My Friends- I've been blessed to always find myself with good friends. Friends who are there for me when I'm sick, but don't treat me like I'm sick when I'm healthy. They've always been understanding in that a CF life is atypical in nature but that it's important for that life to be as "normal" as possible. Often times it's completely forgotten that I'm "different" and they're always there to hold me accountable if I'm screwing up.

12. inCourage Vest System- Admittedly, I would choose a hand pound over the vest every day of the week. I got pounded by hand for the first 20 years of my life at least twice a day and I think it helped me immensely. But with that said, the vest is certainly better than a sharp stick in the eye and I'm thankful that I have a very light and portable one. I take it with me on every vacation and it's very easy to slap on while I work or browse the Internet. It's definitely an easy way to get in all of my treatments and I know that it's doing my lungs good!

11. Wintergreen Mints- It's probably just me, but I swear I breath better when I'm sucking on a wintergreen mint. I usually will have one in my mouth before doing PFTs as I think it opens me up a little. I of course have no scientific evidence to base this on, but sometimes believing that something good is happening is just as good as something actually happening.

10. Baby Bottle Cleaner- This is a fairy new piece of equipment in my house but so far it has produced wonders. I'm actually new to the whole nebulizer cleaning thing (didn't start consistently cleaning my nebs until March of this year) and I started with a hot pot at first and then moved on to just throwing them in a pot of boiling water. Now, I throw them in a baby bottle cleaner, add water, push a button, wait six minutes, and then presto bango, CLEAN NEBS! It's amazing I tell you and what I time-saver.

9. Protonix- So I used to throw-up every single morning of my life from about 1994 to 2004. This of course can be a major problem because I would eventually just be puking up stomach acid, which is not friendly on the throat, mouth and teeth. I had the same routine going of feeling sick almost immediately upon entering the shower and then about 5 minutes later I would start throwing up mucus that I had swallowed the previous night while asleep. I realize that much of this was probably psychosomatic and had just become a habit that I had fallen into, but when I started taking Protonix regularly the throwing up became less and less common.

8. Insurance- I know that I have some problems regarding insurance right now, but there is no doubt that I have been blessed with great medical care my whole life which has been paid for by my insurance company. I've really never had a struggle with getting stuff paid for, and with the exception of one time, they've never put the heat on my doctors for all of hospital stays (a direct phone call from me nipped that in the bud).

7. My Blog\The Internet- This blog has provided such a great accountability tool for me and a great way to express my views and opinions on CF and life (which happen to a lot of overlap). The Internet has allowed my to connect with people out there that I otherwise never would of as well as keep up with the happenings of the CF community and research at the click of a button. Have a question about Cystic Fibrosis? It's only a click away and you can actually get a straight answer from somebody who is going through the same kind of things.

6. Invacare 50 psi Compressor- Going from the PARI ProNeb to the Invacare Mobilaire has made a world of difference. I've cut my treatment times down by at least 50% and the medicine just makes me feel different when going in. It feels like it is having a larger impact on my lungs and it one of the best investments into my health that I've ever made.

5. My Love of Sports- Everybody who reads this blog knows that I preach being faithful with your treatments and staying active. Fortunately for me, I've always been 100% with staying active because of my love for sports. Whether it was tee-ball, YMCA basketball, high school football, or church league softball, I've always been involved in some type of sport. In fact, my longest career thus far has been coaching football which I did from 1998-2004. It required that I stay active just so I could keep up with my players!

4. Patience- Here's the deal, not everything in life is going to work out the way you want when you want. Throw a chronic disease on top of that and your life can be completely different than you ever imagined. There are ups and there are downs, but I've been given the gift of patience by God to see me through the down times. I realize that there is a plan and although I may not know exactly what that plan is, I know that He does and He'll accomplish His Will through me. I also know that His Will in my life will be 100% perfect and I was the man that he chose to carry it out. Sometimes it just takes a little patience for His Will to unfold, as it's not my timing, but the Lord's.

3. Mandi- There is no doubt that when God created Mandi, He had me in mind. There is no other way to explain that a woman exists that has everything I've ever hoped for and has opened my eyes to other qualities I never knew I needed. She is the biggest reason why I'm so committed to staying healthy. I want to be around for her for as long is absolutely possible. Not only do I want to be around, but I want to be the boyfriend/husband that she's always dreamed of. She is truly my best friend and a gift sent by the grace of God because I truly don't deserve a woman like her.

2. My Mom- When I thought of qualities that I knew I needed in the eventual mother of my children, many of them came from what I saw in my mom. She has absolute unconditional love and I knew that her family was what she cherished most. She has sacrificed more than I can list in order to provide me the best care possible starting in early childhood by selecting a job because of the benefits. She lived without so her kids could live with. She was incredibly soft and nurturing yet showed tough love when I needed it most (which was often). Most importantly though, she raised me to live my life and to never ever use CF as an excuse. That put me on the path in which I still live today, and for that, I'm eternally grateful.

1. My Faith- Truth be told, God has provided everything to me that has made my (CF) life easier. He chose my mom , He created Mandi, He gave me my talents and character, He provides me resources, and He put specific people in my life at specific times. I know that He also allowed CF into my life for a reason and that He also promises not to give His children things that we can't handle. He has already set my plan in motion and has given me the proper tools to navigate through life. I trust His plan is perfect, and thus far I wouldn't change a thing. Most of all, when I can't do it on my own (which is 99.9% of the time) He's there for me. When I need His strength it's available. When I need His grace, He provides it. When I feel uneasy, He gives me peace that passes all understanding. When I have doubt, He gives me clarity of mind. When I have sorrow, He is there to give me comfort. And when I have death, He will bring me home to spend eternity with Him.

Here's how I look at it: God and I signed a lease on my life when I was born, I don't know when the lease expires, but I do know that I'll go WAY OVER on the miles.

Today My Heart Breaks (and Burns)

There are many things to be thankful for on this Thankful Thursday, but here are some that come to mind:

I had a great dinner tonight. Not only was the food delicious, but it was cheap and I was able to enjoy it with Mandi and her parents. There is a sports bar near their house called Zipps. I haven't been to a Zipps very often, but after tonight, I may have to stop in more frequently. Every night starting at 8pm they offer specials. Tonight's specials that I took advantage of were 4 tacos for 4 dollars and mozzarella cheese sticks for 5 dollars. Mandi and I actually split the two. The cheese sticks were interesting in that they were wrapped in an egg roll type of a deal. To be honest, not the best ever, but I'm glad that I tried them. The tacos were pretty good though...now if only I could shake this heartburn!

I mentioned this on Facebook the other day, but let me say it again. I'm so thankful for the performance of my compressor lately. I mean, it's always done well, but it's been kicking butt the last couple of days. Weird thing is, I haven't done anything special to it for it to be performing better. One reason may be the fact that the tubes are staying on better than normal and I've been able to crank it to 30 psi. But again, why are the tubes staying on so well??

Lastly, what I'm not thankful for...Mandi and I are having problems. I don't know if it's the stress of the upcoming wedding or if it's that her (overbearing) parents are in town, but we seem to be fighting a lot lately. I don't want to set off any unneeded alarms, but I thought I would just mention it. It's not a "maybe we won't make it to the wedding?" kind of a thing as much as it is a "maybe we rushed into it?" kind of a thing. I don't know, maybe I'm just venting a little. Things just seem off you know? I mean, how do you really know if somebody is right for you?? Obviously it's not your guy's problem, but I certainly wanted to shed some light on it before she started spreading false rumors about me or something.

Oh, and by the way, it is April Fool's Day right??? :)

*And just so we're clear, Mandi is the love of my life and we are head over heels for each other and just counting down the days until she's walking towards me dressed in white :)

Ronnie and Mandi in the Arizona Desert

A sure fire way to be spotlighted on Sunday is to write a blog about the love Mandi and I share for each other. From The Unknown Cystic.

Ronnie and Mandi in the Arizona Desert

March 27, 2010 — unknowncystic

I really enjoy reading about, and watching video of, Ronnie and Mandi. I like following their exploits in the Arizona desert, watching them singing rock songs while driving and eating romantic dinners at the hospital, making the best of every moment.

Interestingly, I discovered today that cystic fibrosis has very little to do with why I enjoy the adventures of Ronnie and Mandi.

Yes, cystic fibrosis is a terrible disease that I hate to my core and obviously plays a role in their lives. However, like a flower that grows alone on a rocky hillside, CF can also defy logic and conditions and blossom a courage of love unlike any other. And it is love, not cf, that makes Ronnie and his heroine such a compelling story to witness.

Their actions and joy in the face of a mighty wind exemplify what is best about youth and humanity – no matter what life throws at you, being together with the person you love, if only for a moment in time, can overcome the most insidious of enemies. These two crazy kids embrace the storm and reach out to others, telling them, together we are stronger.

So, today, I sit ignoring my work. Instead, I take a moment to admire Ronnie and Mandi and every other cf couple who has said “no” to fear and “yes” to the here and now, and who has treated life like a juicy orange and squeezed every breath and drop out of it. And, I’m grateful for 24 years with my wife.

I thank Ronnie and Mandi for sharing their story. I wish them a lifetime together and humbly pass on this Springsteen verse, as it has served me well over the years:

We made a promise we swore we’d always remember
No retreat no surrender
Like soldiers in the winter’s night with a vow to defend
No retreat no surrender

Engagement Photos Slideshow

As I shared two weeks ago, Ronnie and I had our engagement photos taken Valentine's Day weekend. We finally got them back and, as promised, we wanted to share them with you.

Do you have a favorite? We're trying to figure out which one to use for our "Save the Date".

You can see all of the photos here if you're on Facebook :)

One Happy Couple