Saturday, August 21, 2010

I Cry Every Time I Read This (in a good way)

I recently discovered this website and I must say, I CRACK UP, every time I go through it. I could do without the language, but this guy is seriously creative. The premise is simple, he responds to classified ads in the newspaper or online with absolutely ridiculous responses. The website is called Don't Even Reply and it is a dandy.
I've edited out the naughty language :)
Original ad:
**** Disguisable weapons wanted ****
Wanted: hidden blades, belt buckle knives, cane swords, etc.....
Offering: cash, items for barter
From Me to **********@***********.org:

Hey,

I saw your ad looking for concealable/disguised weapons. I have several fine-crafted items you may be interested in. Respond if you are interested and I will send you pictures and prices.

Thanks,

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

I am. lets see what you got.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

Here you go:



Looks like a normal spoon, right?



Wrong. It is actually a deadly 2.5" half-smooth, half-serrated knife with tactical grip. One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon.

I am asking $50 for the blade. Let me know if you want to stop by and take a look at it.

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

that is stupid as hell and looks like crap. unless you have anything better to offer, dont waste my time.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

I am sorry you feel that way about the spoon blade. I do have some other weapons that I think you will feel differently about.

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

fine. but if it is another knife duct taped to a spoon then you can ____ off.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

Thank you for re-considering. Here are three quality disguised weapons that I think you will love:



At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.



Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.



This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box.

Let me know if you want any of these items.

Thanks,

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

youre a ______ ______, ___brained, ___wipe, retarded ______. you prob walk around with that ____ too you dumb ____ _____. I hope you get hit by a car. ____ off, eat ____, and die.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Flash Me Friday - "The Old Digs"

I'm doing my own Flash Me Friday today as our host is still having some computer issues :) These are a couple of pictures of the condo I lived in before getting married and moving into our new house. I lived in this place from 2005 to May 2010 and absolutely loved the area. It was right in the middle of all of the action!!

View of my unit's building


Front door


Community Pool


Living room


Kitchen

Thursday, August 19, 2010

What the _____?: August 19th, 2010

A while ago we started a little contest on this blog in which I post a picture and whoever comes up with the most clever/funny/witty/etc caption gets put into a drawing for prizes at the end of the year. Still don't have everything figured out as of yet, but we do know a couple of things 1) There will be multiple prizes 2) I love the participation so far 3) If you think your submission is inappropriate for others to see, you can always email your answer directly to me at ronnie@cysticlife.org :) 4) I've literally LOLed all weeks so keep it coming!

This week's picture (I realize that this is of one of my friends and I hope he doesn't mind, but this picture cracks me up):


Alright, what do ya got!?!?



Last week's photo with the winning caption:


Winner: "Mandi's solution to Ronnie's ErecTIE Dysfunction"
submitted by Brad & Deana

2nd: "Hunny!! I really don't think this is what they meant when they say, 'We're tying the knot!!'"
submitted by Carolyn Bunt

3rd: "When I told you I like it rough, I meant during my treatments!"
submitted by Marla

tie

"She's got him on a short leash and it will only get shorter!"
submitted by Christina Sommers

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Thank you to all who read RSBR

I just wanted to thank each and every one of you guys who take time out of your day to read the stuff put up here on RSBR. It really means a lot to me and the fact that some of you would actually take the time to comment means a lot too. When I started this blog, I just wanted to use it as a place to hold myself accountable in my new journey to run a mile. After awhile, it was apparent that I was going to have many of you holding me accountable as well. It was perfect. You guys are a big reason for my turnaround in health and for that I am grateful. I get so many encouraging comments on here, facebook (which, if we aren't friends, friend me!!) and CysticLife (which, if you are not a member, join!!!) that truly motivate me to know end.

I need you guys to know that this isn't a one-way street. I get many messages saying that I inspire and encourage, but I get so much of that it return that I would be crazy to stop doing what I'm doing. As you saw by yesterday's blog, I enjoy answering questions from the community. If you were to have a question at any time, please don't hesitate to email at ronnie@cysticlife.org. I look forward to what the future holds and I'm truly thankful for each and everyone of you.

Until tomorrow,
Ronnie

Monday, August 16, 2010

Rondi + Skip Bo = Date Night

Ronnie and I have decided that we will each plan a date once a month. We made this agreement for several reasons. 1. We're both home bodies that are completely content sitting on the couch all weekend if you let us, and that's just not healthy 2. We thought it would be a nice way to spice things up every now and then by doing something fun (and different) together. 3. It's a good way to show your spouse how much you love them, by planning something special. 4. It's a nice tradition to start. The only rule is that you have to plan it and there are no limits. It can be a date at the house, a night out on the town, anything. A few weeks back, Ronnie posted pictures and a video from his date night; an Ernie Halter show. So I thought it was only fair to tell you/show you my date night.

Saturday morning I asked Ronnie to go on a date with me. He, of course, agreed - one thing I've learned in just the 3 months we've been married, the beauty of marriage is zero fear of rejection when you ask the other person out. The vision for the date: stay at home and relax, while doing something fun and romantic. I had planned a night of Skip Bo (our FAVORITE game to play together), wine, cheese and crackers. It ended up being the PERFECT date, in both of our eyes. I got to sit and chat with my hubby as he kicked my butt in several games of Skip Bo, while he got to attend the date without wearing pants (Ronnie defines pants as "confining" and an "optional item" when in the comfort of his own home). WIN - WIN for all parties involved!

Here are a few pictures from the night...have no fear, I have cleverly taken the photos to be appropriate for your viewing :)



Sunday, August 15, 2010

What's in a Google? WHY DOESN'T

Here's something I started a couple of weeks ago on RSBR, cause as we all know, the weekends are slow around here. I call it "What's in a Google?". It's simple really; type one word into Google and see what the magic bot suggests for you. Once in a while, you can get some pretty funny suggestions. What's crazy, is I'm pretty sure that it means these are the most common searches.

Word: why doesn't

Top suggested searches:

why doesn't he like me
why doesn't he call
why doesn't mac have viruses
why doesn't he love me
why doesn't corn digest
why doesn't anyone like me
why doesn't alcohol freeze
why doesn't God heal amputees
why doesn't facebook look like this
why doesn't redbox have avatar

I've highlighted my favorites. What's funny, is I think I've asked just about every question there except for the love/like ones. I mean seriously, why doesn't corn digest? Why doesn't alcohol freeze? Why are there so many amputees out there who nobody likes?