Reality Check!

Another week has come and gone. Somehow life post-Mckenna goes faster. It's like days are shorter now! Mckenna is now 12 weeks old...and I have NO clue where these 12 weeks went - one week and a day and she'll be 3 months old already. CRAZY!

This week was my first week back at work. Back to reality for this momma. Luckily I'm only back at work 20 hours a week. That helps big time. I'm able to get in 2 hours during her morning nap (what's funny is she only takes a long nap (longer than an hour or so) when napping in her swing next to daddy doing his treatments. Ronnie's morning treatments are LONG now because he just continually restarts his vest so we both can get in a long stretch of work. Treatments may be my new favorite things on earth.) Anyway, so I do a 2 hour stretch in the morning, and then another 2 hours or so while Ronnie plays Mr. Mom. All in all it was an easier transition than I thought. But I am glad I'm part-time and that I'm still at home because I think I would die going 8 hours without seeing Mckenna and I still get jealous when I hear them playing and I can tell she's being cute...so I run in to see what she's doing. Maybe one day she'll get boring and I'll be less obsessed?

And come to think of it, Reality is slowly creeping back in in other ways too...one real world first at a time. First, work. Now we're discussing hospital stays. Ronnie won't be going in anytime too too soon, but he's getting closer, as he's been out since September, and he's pretty consistent on how long he can stay out. So as we started talking about a possible tune-up in the next month or so, I started putting together what the reality of a tune-up would be. And it's not pretty. As you may remember, we live in Phoenix and he gets treated in Tucson (2 hours away). I have an office in Tucson that I enjoy working from. We have family in both places. These are all of factors that play into the "where do Mckenna and I stay during a tune-up?" debate. Right now I'm thinking we'll spend 4 days a week at home, and 3 days a week down there - sleeping at his mom's or grandma's. I obviously want to be with him as much as possible. But I also don't want to inconvenience his family (read: keep them up all night with a crying baby) and I don't want to get her all out of wack by sleeping in a different place, etc. We knew that hospital stays would be a bit tricky, but I don't think I really knew just how tricky they'd be until she got here. Needless to say I'm a bit nervous about this new reality, but we'll get it all sorted out once we fumble through our first one. I will say that the biggest blessing is that my office is walking distance from the hospital AND they are ok with me bringing Mckenna to the office with me. Man I love my work - they're awesome! So that will provide some flexibility.

And the last reality that has crept in in the last few weeks is the realization that this is forever. Some of you I'm sure just let out a laugh. I'm sure many of your blurted out a "DUHHH!!". And I know, this statement sounds really dumb. It's so obvious. Yes, a baby is forever. I, of course, knew that. However, I didn't quite know the REALITY of it. What I mean, for example, is I knew that I'd have less sleep with a baby...I didn't grasp that I'd never have the chance to catch up on sleep...because a kid creating sleepless nights is (what feels like) forever. It's not like a little blip where you don't get sleep for a week, and then you can catch up. Or I knew I'd be tethered to her day and night because I'm breastfeeding, but I didn't realize what that looked like in terms of my days. I didn't realize what it means to only have 2 hours away from the house on my own, max..."forever" (I get this isn't forever, but right now, it kinda feels like it! ha!). The permanent-ness (yes, I didn't just say permanent-ness) of having a baby is a no-brainer, but the reality of the permanent-ness didn't quite sink in until the last couple of weeks.

The theme of life the last couple of weeks has been "reality check" for me. It has been both fun and scary to come back to real life after 11 weeks of "baby bliss" on maternity leave. It's been fun and scary to realize what our new life looks like - certainly not bad, just different and a little scary trying to navigate through it all. But man, when I see her smile or feel her little hand on my skin, it makes me so thrilled to be in this reality!!

Have you ever had this happen to you though? Where you know something, but you don't quite grasp it until you're in the thick of things?

Can I Spit on the Gym Floor?

6:00am: I felt very well rested and ready to get up and tackle the day this morning. The only issue was a slight sore throat and very stuffy nose and a slight sinus headache, other than that though, I was ready to grab the bull by the horns. After a little bit of time in the bathroom getting a pound of snot out of my head and coughing up my obligatory mucus ball, I was ready for the gym. Today was the first day in my routine change. Since it's getting a little hot in the morning and I've been really dragging when it came to my nightly walk/run, I decided that I would do cardio in the morning cause the dog walk is much easier on me. Also, the sicker my lungs get, I know that it is imperative to do MORE cardio, not less. This assures that I get in a good 30-45 minutes of deep breathing and sweat every weekday morning.

The only hitch I thought of in this new plan was challenge that coughing and clearing my mucus while at the gym could present. Don't get me wrong, I'll cough my brains out in front of anybody and their stink eyes don't bother me in the least. If they continue the stares for longer than I deem necessary, I'll either blow them a kiss or give them a wink, this usually stops the stare right in it's track. The problem with cardio this early at the gym is I can't exactly spit my mucus on the gym floor. It's been well documented that my morning walk loop is littered with mucus that I spit anywhere and everywhere. Well, I can't do that at the gym obviously. The only alternative is to swallow what I bring up. Gross huh? In all actuality I've been doing that for years, so to me, it's not that big of a deal. The only thing that sucks about it is the usual stomach ache that comes along from swallowing all of that flem. As of right now, my stomach feels fine, I just hope that continues.

So this morning, I decided to do the elliptical and the stair stepper. I ended up doing 15 minutes of each. Let me tell you, when I first started on the elliptical, I was thinking, "This was a big mistake". My legs were still asleep, and waking them up in that manner was not fun. I pushed through it and about 7-8 minutes into the workout my legs were numb so it really didn't matter how hard I pushed cause I couldn't feel them. Perfect. Just what I wanted. Right after the elliptical, I got on the stair stepper and continued to sweat my butt off. The coughing definitely increased when I was climbing up those steps, but surprisingly I didn't get too many death stares. By the time I was done, I was very out of breath and my lungs felt pretty open. When I left the gym I was able to get some good stuff up and that continued with my treatments. This new workout may just be the switch I needed.

Total Distance: 1.5 miles Total Floors Climbed: 40 Floors

5:00pm: It was leg and shoulder day so I waited for Mandi to get off work so we could go to the gym together. We've got a good routine down that gets me sweating like crazy. We literally don't stop moving the whole time at the gym. While she is doing a set of shoulders, I'll be doing a set of legs, and then we'll switch. We keep this up until we are done with all of our sets. Right after legs and shoulders are done, we go straight to abs and that's where she really kicks my butt. She didn't punish me as bad today though cause she didn't want my ab soreness to suppress my cough like it did the other day. Nevertheless, I was extremely wet with sweat from head to toe and I've got to say, it felt great! Current Weight: 186 lbs.

7:30pm: Time for what J Bizzle has been waiting all day for: Her walk! She was very excited when I told her to get her leash and she couldn't stop smiling and wagging her tail. I don't think she minded waiting until tonight though cause it was definitely cooler than it is during the morning walk. We also walked a different neighbor hood than I usually walk, so she got to take in all new smells. The walk felt pretty good, but my foot did hurt a little bit. I ended up putting it on ice when I got home, so I hope it helps it. My lungs felt good throughout the whole day, so it looks like I'll be sticking with my new routine for awhile. I'll at least stick with it until I think my body is catching on to what I am doing. Remember, always keep your body guessing.

Total Distance: 1.5 miles Time: 25'34"

Total Distance Walked for Day: 3.6 miles Total Floors Climbed: 40 Floors