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By now I’m sure you can tell that I’m pretty energetic and easily excitable. Now add to that my giddiness (yes, giddiness) when I haven’t seen Ronnie in a while, and you have one bouncy, overwhelming monkey anxious to do everything you haven’t done for a few weeks together RIGHT when you walk in the door.
You may be thinking, “Aw, how sweet”...but for Ronnie, who is generally a little out of sorts when he gets out, not so much. I have learned that after being stuck in a tiny, bland room for so long, Ronnie’s body and brain go into system overload when he’s first out. Loud noises, people all around, screeching girlfriends all overwhelm him. So every time he gets out I have to do my best to suppress my prancing, clapping, wiggling, giggling, blabbering, blubbering ways for the first few days.
I’m happy to do my part because I know Ronnie does his. He tries to snap out of hospital mode a little faster than normal and not let himself go into overload (if you know Ronnie, you know he’s one of the most controlled, patient guys in history - one major point on which we differ - maybe he’ll rub off one of these days, but I doubt it), but there’s only so much he can do.
It normally takes the first day for us to get back into our grove and I’m sure the longer we are together, the better we’ll get at balancing the first few days post hospital. As for today, I’ll enjoy snuggling up and enjoying some quiet time with Ronnie home and save all my craziness for tomorrow!
Instead of a video update tonight, I wanted to share this exchange between myself and a parent of a little CFer that I met on Twitter. If you're interested in following my Twitter account you can find me @RunSickboyRun.
ENTRY BY MANDI:
It’s hospital time again. I am actually a little excited about Ronnie being in for his tune-up - and no, it’s not because he’s gone for 3 weeks ;-). I never thought I would actually be excited for a hospital stay because I used to hate hospitals. I’ve never be admitted to a hospital, or spent much time in one outside of the quick ER visit (although we all know ER visits are never quick). They always felt cold to me with their white walls and stainless steal. Ronnie had no idea how much I hated hospitals the first time I went to visit him. I drove to Tucson from Phoenix, in a terrible thunderstorm, and when I got there, I was informed that the power was out. Yes, the power was out IN THE HOSPITAL, I didn’t know that could happen. It felt like I was stepping into a horror movie as his brother, Grant, lead me through the dark, deserted halls. It was like one of those scenes in scary movies where you want to yell at the character and say, “What are you doing? You NEVER go into a hospital when the power is out.” But after I spent my first few days with him, I began to feel comfortable, and actually began to enjoy it.
I like our hospital time together for two reasons. First, and this may sound funny to most people reading this, but it’s a special time for us. It’s a rare time where we have nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company (and enjoy it we do; we play games, listen to old John Jay and Rich shows, talk, play catch, watch TV (especially 48 hours, dateline) and the list goes on). I enjoy being there.
Secondly, it helps make CF real to me and helps me understand everything that comes along with it. I’m a worrier. I’ll worry about anything and everything. So for me, it helps if I can see what’s going on. If I weren’t there when he went into ICU, I would have been terrified and worried. If I weren’t there to see him on the BIPAP, I would have thought it was scarier. If I wasn’t there when he coughed up blood, I would have panicked. Being there helps me see that each thing isn’t as scary as my mind makes it. And while it makes all the “hospital things” less scary, it makes CF more real. Ronnie downplays his CF and how much it really affects him. When I’m in the hospital with him, however, I can see and hear things first hand - not his diluted, “it’s no biggy”, version (although I must admit, he sure makes me feel like he can handle anything that gets thrown our way, whether it’s related to CF or not, and I do love that about him). This helps me understand more about how he’s really feeling and just how serious CF can be because it’s easy to forget when I’m with someone that seems “healthy” so much of the time.
All in all, I’m excited for this stay - I want him out and home in two weeks. Lucky for me, I can work from anywhere now, so I’ll be able to be here all week, working during the day and enjoying our time at night.