Egg Retrieval, Passing Out, and 5-month Pregnant Belly

I wanted to update you regarding the latest and greatest in IVF news. My egg retrieval was this morning, and it went very well. While we were there we found out that Ronnie's contribution had a ton of good swimmers, so they will definitely be able to fertilize all my eggs - which brings me to my next update. The egg retrieval resulted in 42 EGGS! Crazy, huh? Before you become too impressed, I should tell you that only 22 were mature! The video below is me, shortly after the procedure...still feeling pretty good.

Unfortunately, that didn't last all too long. After hitting the Gatorade hard, I had to go potty. The short trip to the bathroom resulted in my passing out, Ronnie getting to me before I was all the way out, and lightly getting me to the ground. After a solid 30 minutes on the bathroom floor, I was back up to snuff and ready to just go lay down in bed. I attempted to go potty again, made it this time, but again, the fainting drama ensued. This time, I didn't pass out, just got the chills, clammy and dizzy. Ever since those two episodes, I've been sitting in bed. The passing out has stopped, but the tightness/bloating in my stomach and chest hasn't subsided yet. We're talking BLOATED. I look about 3-5 months pregnant right now! I've pounded Gatorade like it's my job, and luckily peeing a ton (not peeing would mean we needed to let someone at our clinic know).

I am feeling much better this evening. Poor Ronnie has had to wait on me all day, while trying to ignore his throbbing souther-region! We Will keep you posted. Check out the video below to see me at my merriest! We have additional videos from today that we'll post another day :)

Keep us in your prayers. We so appreciate your support!

PS - Below is a video of our doctor performing an egg retrieval. This isn't of my actual procedure, as he didn't want Ronnie in there filming (it's a tiny room), but told us where we could find this video of a previous procedure he had shot himself.

**Warning - this isn't bloody or grotesque, but if words like vagina make you queazy, you may want to sit this one out! Hope you didn't just eat :)

I Got Kicked by a Horse!

IVF Crunch Time!!

How about those Packers, huh? It was a good game, and I was able to at least sit and pretend to watch most of it! Although our recording cut off, so we didn't see the last few minutes...LAME-O!! I absolutely LOVE the Super Bowl....commercials. I was relatively impressed by the commercials this year. There were a few really great ones. The halftime show was underwhelming. I actually like the Black Eyed Peas, but man oh man, they are terrible live and the sound guy made their mics way too loud for the quality of their voices. They're the kind of group that does a whole lot better when the background music drowns them out a bit (or A LOT). I did like Usher though. That man can dance.

We took a brief intermission from the game to give me my HCG trigger shot precisely at 7:30 PM. "Why are you telling us this?" you ask. Because it's the actual point of my blog, and I tried to ease into it by starting with some current events (how did I do?). The HCG trigger shot, to me, signifies the transition between all the boring, early IVF stuff, and the exciting, ball-moving-forward, IVF stuff. I've been doing HMG stimulant drugs since last Sunday. Thursday we had a really good ultrasound, which showed a lot of eggs growing. They wanted us to go back Friday afternoon, to see how I was doing again, since I wouldn't see them all weekend. Friday my eggs had grown more and they decided that I would be ready for my egg retrieval at 7:30 AM on Tuesday. That's right, TUESDAY! WOOT WOOT! In order to be ready for a Tuesday egg retrieval, they had me take my last HMG shot on Saturday morning with my Lupron. Then Sunday I did my Lupron in the AM, and Lupron and Trigger shot at 7:30pm. Why do I keep saying 7:30pm? Because the time on this one really matters. Exactly 38 hours after the shot is given, your eggs will naturally release. Therefore, they have you give it to yourself exactly 36 hours prior to your retrieval, so that your eggs will finish the maturation process, but before they can release, they snatch them from me. Today I take Medrol in the morning and Zithromax at night. Then I can't eat from midnight until after the procedure. This afternoon is Ronnie's big performance, his TESA, in which they'll go in and remove "cores" (OUCH) of tissue from the testicles, from which they will get sperm. I'll let him fill you in on this tomorrow more after he's actually had the procedure done...that is if his brain can function through the pain (kidding...I'm sure he'll be fine, he's a big, tough man!) Tuesday is my egg retrieval, and I'll continue on the Medrol and Zithromax the day of and day after the egg retrieval. Additionally, the day after the egg retrieval (Wednesday) I'll start Progestrone injections, and continue with those until they tell me to stop (sometime after the pregnancy test...on Feb 22). Sunday, February 13, will be the big day. The day they transfer 1 or 2 (we haven't quite decided yet, but I think 2) embryos back into my uterus. The day we've been working for. I am so excited I can barely contain myself!! We then have to wait 9 (LONG) days until the pregnancy test on February 22.

I am just excited to have dates. For a planner and someone that loves to know what is happening when, dates and a timeline are crucial. All that said, there's still a lot of uncertainty. You never know how your body is going to do, and there is a small chance that I might be faced with something called OHSS - where your ovaries are over-stimulated, and you have to give your body time between the retrieval and the transfer, so we'd have to wait a month. I'm hopeful we don't have to worry about this, but you never know (especially with as many follicles as I have going, 25++). We will know tomorrow after a blood test (testing my Estrogen levels) whether or not we'll be able to transfer the embryos on Sunday for sure or not.

For a big stress ball like me, weeks like this week are exciting, but also nerve-wracking. I have found a TON of comfort in the song Our God by Chris Tomlin. I have found a lot of peace in these lyrics: "Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.

Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God! And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us. And if our God is with us, then what could stand against." (You can check out the song below).

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers! We'll keep you posted all week with the latest happenings!

"Knock My Socks Off"

by Mike Burke

I wanted to thank Ronnie for providing the CF community with this forum. Additional thanks for asking me to contribute. My name is Mike Burke. I’m from St. Louis, Missouri and I’m 41 years old. I have run 9 full marathons and somewhere around 15 half marathons. I have finished those races in the top 30-40% of the field.

Upon deciding Cystic Fibrosis would no longer dictate my decision making, mood and general outlook on life, I wanted to do something that would “Knock My Socks Off”. I wondered what I could do that would be something normal, that everyone else can do and at the same time I wanted to do something few people could do.

Growing up my parents were told by the doctors to “Keep him active”. So I played soccer, baseball and every kind of sport. I was an average athlete and as an adult I discovered I was not tall, fast, muscular or coordinated enough to play these sports very well. I was however short, skinny overly stubborn and motivated by something beyond normal people (Cystic Fibrosis), which is great raw material for distance runners. So right away I knew that my accomplishment would involve running. Running can be boring though, so I needed to make it fun and challenging. So how was I going to do that?

Run a marathon! Everyone can run a little. Not everyone can run 26.2 miles without stopping. Only 1% of our population has finished a marathon. I wonder what percent of that 1% can’t breathe well, can’t digest food well and has to manage diabetes? Not many I’d guess. So although I’m not particularly fast, I am in elite company.

Sometimes I feel like a coughing and barfing machine. Many times I will get coughing so hard the gag reflex in my body would take over and I'd let it rip. Throwing up on my shoes is a perfect excuse to buy new running shoes but it is frustrating. I know however that the coughing is clearing my lungs of that nasty stuff. You know the stuff you cough up, that when looking at it, would make mere humans without CF want to barf themselves.

So I could feel the therapeutic value in my lungs in just a short time of running. With this in mind I was not going to quit. Soon, I was able to run long distances without stopping. 13 miles. 15 miles. 18 miles. 21 miles. I was amazed at what my body could do. I was dumbfounded how I could gain 10 pounds while running 40-50 miles a week. Sure I got a little muscular in the legs, but 10 pounds!?!? I had not been able to gain weight since high school and at 30 I was putting on the LBs.

I wanted to run well every-day. That meant eating well and taking my pills every single time a piece of food went in my mouth. All the things I hated doing as a kid and young adult I was embracing. Taking 8,000 pills a year wasn’t a burden. Sitting in the vest was still a pain but it helped me achieve a goal. Going to the clinic was not fun but I wanted to know how I could live better to run better.

I was seeing the physical benefits of keeping to the medicine and treatments. Better yet I was feeling the mental benefits. The discipline, dedication and sacrifice it takes to run was building confidence. I was growing in confidence and I was bringing this discipline into my life in a fun way. I had overcome my fears of living with Cystic Fibrosis by dedicating myself to running. Each day I was proving I could do something normal. Something I saw people doing every day. My lungs were clearer. I was coughing less. I had gained weight.

The mental benefits were not just for me. The best influence for me was watching my wife and family. They were seeing a new life in me. I was being an example to them of how life should be lived when facing a tough challenge. They were worrying less seeing me try so hard.

So running started as a required therapy. So what! Everyone is told by the doctor to eat right and exercise. That isn’t anything different than anyone else has to do. We just have to do a little more of it. I found a way to make therapy fun and eventually it became a passion.

I love to run!

Not everyone is up for a marathon and not everyone will run to stay healthy. There are tons of activities that you can do to clear your lungs and have fun. Find yours.

You just may find peace, confidence, strength and health.

Mike

Note from Ronnie: Thank you SO MUCH Mike for taking the time to write this inspiring guest blog. You're not only an great role model for the CF community, but an inspiration for me personally. I look at guys like you and think "If he can do it, than surely can I!". I look forward to seeing which mountain you climb next and will be cheering you on every step, or stride, of the way!

Mandi's Eggs Are a-Cookin'!!!

We headed to our doctor's office to take a peak at Mandi's eggs, or as we call her Mother Hen, just to make sure everything is on schedule. It was a very important step as all that is IVF relies on the eggs developing at a normal pace. If they develop to slow there can be issues and conversely, if they develop to fast you may be having some problems. Worst case scenario - everything looks off and we have to cancel the cycle. To say Mandi was excited (see worried) about this appointment would be an understatement. As always, we'll try to give it to you in our own words first and then you can hear the expert talk it below. Seriously though, check out those ovaries!!!

Thankful Thursday - The Sun is ALWAYS Shining

We can't stress enough how important it is in our own lives to slow down when things seem to be getting "fast" and just think about the little things that we're thankful for. We had 4 other peeps join us last week in expressing their thankfulness and we're hoping that more climb on board today! I have a little "Linky Tools" at the end of this post that you can use to join the party and link up your thankfulness post! Feel free to spread this around to anyone you know that may like to participate.

Mandi's List:

I'm thankful for heating pads. The shots these last few days haven't been bad, but they do have a way of making my butt pretty sore. It was suggested to put a little heat pad onto the injection site to help move some of the meds out of the muscle, and believe you me, it feels AWESOME!

I'm thankful for birthdays. I am so thankful and feel so blessed to have celebrated Ronnie getting another year older yesterday. I LOVE birthdays and everything that comes with them - cake, cards, presents, the birthday song, you name it. I'm so blessed to have Ronnie in my life and I am so thankful that this marks another year of him growing older - although not wiser ;-)

I'm thankful for sunshine and Arizona weather. The midwest and north east was DUMPED on yesterday (anyone reading this get snowed in?!) and I am so thankful that we don't have to shovel our way out of our home in the winter time. After living in the midwest and north east growing up, and going to school in Syracuse, NY (where it's never sunny and ALWAYS cloudy) I am so thankful for the 360 sunny days in arizona and the bearable winter weather.

Ronnie's List:

I'm so thankful for a wife who isn't afraid to let me know when to shut up. I have a bad case of "foot-in-mouth" syndrome as what I mean to say isn't often what is actually said. Not only does she let me know when I should probably rephrase stuff or just completely quit talking, but she does it in a very respectful and loving way. You think I get in trouble now? It'd be 1000 times worse if Mandi wasn't around.

I'm thankful for all of the great birthday wishes I received yesterday. I'm not a big birthday guy (I requested that we watch Judge Judy together on the couch instead of going to dinner), but it is nice to read comments from others wishing you a great day or thanking you for doing something you're passionate about. It definitely provided me with some much needed energy heading into these next couple weeks. Thanks guys!

I'm thankful for a sun that seems to always be shining. Not only am I talking about this great Arizona sun (sorry to all of you who are getting dumped on by the whiteness right now), but I'm also talking about my life in general. It seems no matter what happens throughout the day, with my health or with the weather, the sun is always shining. I can't tell you how often I think about it being a great day for the simple fact that I'm able to wake up and tackle it.

Only 6 Years Left?

Yeah rizzzzight!!! I can't tell you guys how bonkers it drives me to hear that 37 number thrown around the community. You know the number I'm talking about right? 37 is the predicted median survival age for the CF community (here in America) according to the CFF. Since I'm turning 31 today, it got me thinking, should I just enjoy cash in my chips and enjoy the time I have left? I of course say that in jest as I would NEVER say that (and mean it), but to highlight an attitude that still is present in many of my close CF circles. We get fixated on a number that's thrown out there and then think we somehow have to live down to it or in some cases, spend our whole lives trying to attain it. Can I just say this, screw that number and screw statistics in general. I've never bought into the hype before and I certainly don't plan on buying into the hype now.

I was fortunate to develop this attitude at a very young age. I don't know why, but even as a youngster, I was able to see the forest through the trees. See, when I was born in 1980, that predicted median age of survival was hovering around 17. Even more so, there was an attitude present in the community to just "value the time you have" because "he probably won't see high school". Why do I remember this? Because I overheard a doctor say it. Not only did I hear doctors say it, but I saw many of my friends live it.

I'd like to introduce you to my friend Robbie. Robbie and I met at the hospital when we were kids and we connected right away. He was a few years older, but he was one of those "cool" CF kids that I longed to meet. You know, one who I thought was "just like me". There was one key difference however with me and Robbie. Robbie never did treatments. I used to question him all of the time as to why this was and to this day, I've never gotten an answer. Maybe it was because he was raised by a single mom who smoked in the house? I mean, she obviously didn't care, why should he. Maybe it's because they were on welfare and couldn't afford the latest and greatest in CF treatments? Maybe he heard the number 17 and thought to himself "what's the point"? I never did get a chance to get to the bottom of it, my friend Robbie died when he was 12. I still think of him to this day.

But this isn't a sad blog, see, even as a kid I knew I wasn't locked into Robbie's story. Shortly after he died, my mom cautiously approached me to assess how I felt about it all and to see if there was anything she could do. She asked if Robbie dying scared me at all. "I'm sad, but it doesn't scare me" I said "I'm not Robbie". "What do you mean?" she replied. I said, "Robbie didn't do his treatments and his mom never pounded him". Even back then I just couldn't buy into this whole "CF is CF" mentality and that we're all destined to the same fate or locked into some magical number. Again, screw that. Robbie should have never been included in any number or statistic that was ever thrown onto me. Sure, we both had CF, but that's were the similarities ended.

I feel the same way today. That 37 number means absolutely nothing to me. In fact, any number that includes the whole CF community means nothing to me. As long as those numbers include kids like Robbie who don't do treatments or have parents that don't give them a fighting chance, they mean nothing. We don't know what everybody else is doing out there. We do know however, that most surveys show that at least 50% of CFers do much less than or none of the treatments prescribed by their physicians. So I ask you, should they factor into any number that you hold up to yourself or your child? You obviously know my answer. Whether you pay attention to the numbers is up to you. I'm much more interested to hear about those who do what they have to do each day to have their lung function at it's highest possible position. If you don't care enough about yourself to do what you have to do to live a healthy life, then stay out of my statistics.

Now, inevitably, I'm going to get comments or emails saying something to the affect of "Ronnie, I hate you. I've done all of my treatments my entire life and I've exercised regularly since I was 4, yet my lung function continues to decline and I'm always sick. So just know that I do what I have to do and it still isn't working". Short response: You are in the minority. Not only are you in the minority of CFers that do all of their treatments everyday, but you're also in the minority of those that do all of their treatments and still can't get healthy. I generally like to focus on the majority, the majority of us who don't do everything we need to do to stay healthy and then wonder why we're sick. I've been there. I was living the "blind-folded excuse filled life" for many years. I know it's tough to own it and take responsibility for our own actions and choices, but man, once you do, it's just so much easier. You start to realize that we do in fact have a lot of control over this stupid cell disease and we have much more power than we give ourselves credit for. It's just a matter of biting the bullet and getting started.

With that said, on my birthday, here's my wish: I just want us all to commit to taking care of ourselves so in the near future we can see what the real predicted median age of this community. A community dedicated to treatments, exercise, self-worth and no excuses. I can guarantee you this, if we all committed, we'd see that 37 number WAY BACK in the rear-view mirror.

An Update from Clinic - It's Crunch Time

Yesterday, I had clinic for the first time since I got out of the hospital in mid-September. They'd like me to come to clinic more often, but with the frequency that I do clinical drug trials, I always have a pretty good idea of where I stand PFT wise. I don't know about all of you, but that's definitely the part I always look forward to come clinic time. I must add however that I'm certainly not doing what's best for me or best for my clinic. It's obviously a better situation if they're able to track me more closely and if you want to get down to the nuts and bolts of it - it's better for the center. Every CF clinic relies on outside funding to stay afloat, so the more patients they treat, the more money they get. If I'm not going to clinic, I'm not getting counted, therefore they don't get all of the money they deserve (do you see where this is going?). If they don't get the money they deserve, it not only affects me, but all of my great friends, including the doctors, at my clinic. Get it? Got it? Good!

As promised, I showed up to clinic yesterday looking forward to what they had to say. I've been off of my game for quite some time now because of all of the bleeding, so it's always a touchy situation heading in to see the docs in that condition. Like I told them, it's not that I feel terrible, it's that I haven't been able to "do me" for almost 3 weeks now. By that I mean I haven't been able to be as active and workout like I'm used to and it can obviously catch up in a fairly short time. I saw them 2 weeks ago (at a drug trial) and expressed to them that other than coughing up blood, I felt pretty darn good. I wasn't very tight, my cough was stable, my mucus was clear and my energy was up. Yesterday I had to report that the blood is still an issue and now the 3 weeks of not working out is starting to catch up to me. I find myself tighter than usual. My mucus is becoming thicker. My cough is deeper, yet it's harder to move the gunk out. The sucky part is, I don't feel it's a result of CF as much as it's a result of me not being able to keep CF in check. And that is very frustrating.

I'm a "let's solve the problem" kind of a guy instead of sit around and talk about it. This happens to translate very well to my CF life as I'm able to look back on the past and pick out stuff that's worked for me health wise and stuff that hasn't. Once I identify what works, I don't go on and on about what I should be doing or what I wish I would have done, I strap up my boots and I go for it. Right now, I find myself in a situation that I can't "go for it" and it pisses me off. My bleeding has become so frequent that I'm not able to do full strength Vest treatments. When I bleed, I stop Pulmozyme for a bit and I stay off 7%. Exercising is out of the questions. Do you see how this can be a problem? Talk about a better way to feel worse! Believe me, this is it.

Some of you are probably saying, "well, why don't you get your butt into the hospital then???". To you I say, you guys are 100% correct. I present myself as a no-excuses kind of a guy and I feel like a hypocrite for putting it off. But part of who I am is to be open and honest with this blog and use it as a way to hold myself accountable. An even bigger part of that is acknowledging when I'm going against my own advice and call myself out on it. So that's exactly what I'm doing. Let me be loud and clear, I should be going into the hospital and nipping this whole thing in the bud. I should put my health before all other things I have going on, because without my health, I have no other things. I should stop, listen to my body, and take care of this bleeding issue so I can get back on the road to booty kicking.

With all of that said, let me tell you why my hospital stay is being delayed. I want to be a daddy. Mandi and I have been going through the IVF process for a good two months now and it's getting into crunch time. "My part" is coming up in the next 10 days and I have to be available when I get the call. Depending on how Mandi's body responds to those big old shots we started giving her, I could be called for my sample anytime between February 5th to February 10th. It's kind of hard for them to take my baby batter out (if you were unclear) up here in Phoenix if I'm down in the hospital in Tucson. And even more important to me than that, 6 days after they get my sperm, they will be implanting an embryo into my wife. Every piece of my being wants to be there for her on our special day. I realize that the creation of our family is very unorthodox and it's not just a matter of a bottle of brandy and a hot tub, therefore, I want to be as much a part of this as possible. Make sense? Maybe not to you, but I know to us it's very important.

So there you have it, an update from clinic. As always, could be better, but it could be worse. I'd love it if you guys could keep us in your prayers for the next few weeks. Please pray that my bleeding lessens and that my health holds up until I can get into the Hole. Also, please pray that the rest of this IVF process goes smoothly and, God willing, we're able to start our family. Thank you guys so much for your support, your prayers and the continued reading of this blog.

The Beginning of the End

Yesterday was an exciting day! It was the first day of my HMG (stimulant) drug for our IVF cycle. I have been solely on Lupron (a drug used to put my body into "menopause" to shut it down and give it time to rest) since December 24th. I decreased my Lupron from 20 units, to 10 units on Friday, and I will continue on the 10 units all the way through the retrieval. The reason for staying on a low dose of Lupron during the stimulation of the ovaries is to keep me slightly suppressed, so my body doesn't ovulate on its own - we want to snatch up the eggs before I ovulate. So today I started my HMG injections, and man was I scared to start them. My Lupron is given in a dinky, tiny little needle in my belly, and is a piece of cake. However, I was dreading the HMG injections because they're intramuscular injections (meaning they need to be given into the muscle...which means a long, big ol' needle). I have done a lot of reading online about the whole IVF process, and many people complain about these shots. I was so nervous about starting these injections on Sunday morning, that I even had a little trouble sleeping on Saturday night. Part of me was nervous about the possible pain of the shot, but part of it was just being afraid that I'd over sleep (I have to give myself the shots between 7 and 8 am). I'm sure many of your are thinking, "you're a big weeny...it's just a shot." And to you guys I will say this, "you sound like my husband!" Ronnie has been telling me to stop psyching myself out - he knows my little mind gets me into a tizzy from time to time! And while I was nervous, it was an exciting day because it feels like it's the beginning of the end of this IVF cycle. It was over a month of injections, but we were at a holding pattern. These shots are getting my ovaries to start doing what they need to do, and within 12 days, we should have a bunch of eggs to fertilize...5 days after that we'll be putting embryo(s) back :)

All that said, check out the videos to see how my first shot went. You can see (and hear) my nervousness and uncertainty during the first video, and then you can two videos of the actual shot (that's right, we did TWO camera angles - professional huh?) - one is of my face while Ronnie gave the shot, the other is of the injection site.

I'll be on the HMG shots for 8-12 days - until my eggs are mature and ready to be taken. We have our first ultrasound to see how the eggs are looking on Thursday. We'll update you then! Please keep our process in your prayers!

Rondi's Reviews: 127 Hours

Last night we went to see 127 Hours - a movie based on one man's story of survival. Mandi is relatively easy to please when it comes to movies; while I like to pretend I'm Siskel and Ebert. Here are our thoughts on the movie....be sure to watch the trailer first!

Mandi's Review:

Before I give my review of the movie - I should preface this with the fact that I'm not a very strict movie critic. I tend to enjoy movies that keep my awake through them and keep me engaged. Those may seem like pretty low standards, but I fall asleep pretty quickly in movies. However, it doesn't take make for me to think it's decent.

As for this movie - I'd definitely recommend it to others, and I'd even go see it again. It's one of those movies that makes you question what you would do if you were in their shoes, and a movie that makes you (well maybe not YOU, but it definitely made ME) feel anxious most of the way through. I was so tense wondering how he was going to get out of the tight spot (pun intended) he was in. And while it seems like a movie filmed in one spot 90% of the time would be boring, it wasn't the case at all. James Franco (main character) did an incredible job throughout the whole film.

Best:

I love movies based on true stories. Something about movies based on reality makes me feel like it's possible that my own life, at some point, could also be extraordinary enough to be a movie. I know that seems really lame, and I think that may be the first time I've ever said (typed) that out loud. But it's true. There's something incredible about watching events that actually unfolded in someone else's life that I find intriguing and incredible. Especially when it's a story like this. A story that shows just how far one man would go to live. It makes me feel like I can, and should, be more extreme in my life.

Worst:

I still feel a little nervous, uneasy and sick. I love movies that get me emotionally invested in them...but when I'm tense for 2 hours straight, it takes me a little while to shake the feeling and remind myself that I'm feeling that way based on something that's not actually happening. However, this is a pro and a con - because at least the movie was good enough to make me feel emotionally invested.

Rating:

I'd give it a solid 4.5 stars.

Ronnie's Review:

Let me just cut to the chase, I certainly wouldn't name this "by far one of the best films of the year". With that said, if you're a fan of the inspired by true stories type of a guy or gal, then I would try to catch this one. The premise is pretty simple, guy goes hiking, guy falls, guy gets stuck, guy thinks he's going to die and then we watch him fight to live for 90 minutes. There's literally one actor with a bunch of extras. You get a sense of who the main character is through flashbacks and the first 10 minutes of the movie, but other than that, don't expect to get sucked in by Aron (James Franco). Not to say he didn't do a good job of acting, but I'm also not saying that this would be the toughest role to play (I'm a James Franco fan by the way). Just picture a thirsty man grunting and groaning a lot, got it? Good. You've now seen the movie.

Best part: The bloody scene. I won't say too much, but I can tell you that I thought Mandi was either going to pass out or throw up...I was smiling the entire time.

Worst Part: If you read any other reviews, or have read the book, you know how it ends. To be honest, about half way through, I was just hoping for him to get freed and get on with it, or die, either way, I was good.

Rating (Out of 5 stars): 2.5

Thankful Thursday - It's good to be home

We can't stress enough how important it is in our own lives to slow down when things seem to be getting "fast" and just think about the little things that we're thankful for. We had 9 other peeps join us last week in expressing their thankfulness and we're hoping that more climb on board today! I have a little "Linky Tools" at the end of this post that you can use to join the party and link up your thankfulness post! Feel free to spread this around to anyone you know that may like to participate.

Mandi's List:

I'm thankful that Ronnie is back from his two trips. Even though he was just gone for 2 days the first trip and 1 the second, I always miss him a little (LAME-O, I know). I enjoy having my partner in crime (not literally crime, please don't report us! Although it would be funny to be able to use that expression literally...maybe we'll become like Bonnie and Clyde). I always realize how much I appreciate having him around when he leaves for a few days. Last night, after he got home, we snuggled up on the coach and watched TV - Life.Is.Good!

I'm thankful for Jezzabel! Jbell is one good guard dog and makes me feel safe while Ronnie's not home. I have to admit - I'm the biggest scaredy cat you'll ever meet. Whenever Ronnie's gone over night, I get really scared that something will happen. It's a totally irrational fear. And even though my rational brain tries to convince my irrational brain that I'm an idiot the whole time that Ronnie's gone - I typically don't feel better unless Jezzabel is close by. I always tell Ronnie that if someone comes into our house with the way Jezzabel gets with strangers, I know I'm screwed because they're just crazy! I'm thankful to have a puppy that is so protective to snuggle with at night while Ronnie's gone.

I'm thankful for feeling good. I read a lot of negative feedback/stories from others who have been on the med (lupron) that I'm on for our IVF cycle. However, I have been on it for over a month now and haven't had any problems. I've had the occasional hot flash here and there and have been a little emotional (I cry at most TV shows now! haha) but other than that, nada. I am so thankful that my body is handling the process well so far, and pray that it continues to do well through the process.

Ronnie's List:

I'm thankful that I have a wife that can hold down the fort and then some while I'm away. Granted, she gets a little spooked from time to time, but that's something we're working through and sooner or later she will be wearing big girl panties 24/7. Other than that, she always does a great job while I'm away whether it's getting a ton of work done, doing stuff around the house or taking JBell on 492 walks. Maybe I should take the hint :)

I'm thankful for my many opportunities in the past week to speak with others in the CF community face-to-face. I had a great time hanging out with the folks up in Stony Brook and I was honored to be able to share some of my life with them and what I've learned over the years. I'm thankful that we didn't get snowed out either as that was always a real possibility.

I'm thankful for my first Vegas experience. Now, that town is WAY TOO smoky for me to make it a common stop, but I do hope to get back there with Mandi someday. When I walked into my hotel room, which may have been the nicest one I had ever stayed in, all I could think was, "Man I wish my wife was here". We're big time people watchers, so I think we would really enjoy each other up in Sin City for a bit.

A Mental Break

Yesterday was just what I needed. After a three days of working and traveling across the country, I needed to just unwind. It started with a nice long walk with Jezzabel in the morning. I went from a place (Long Island) with a high of 25 while I was there, to walking my dog at 9 o'clock in the morning with shorts and a t-shirt on. When I got back, my beautiful wife had some coffee ready and I vegged out on the couch for a bit catching up on the U of A game that I had missed on Saturday. I was able to get in all of my treatments today without issue and even got out for another long walk with Jezzabel (we even brought Mandi with us the second time). Yesterday was just a great physical and mental break for me.

Now, anytime that I have days like that, I'm certainly not able to completely disconnect from my normal duties, but I don't feel as pressured to get them done right away. As I sit and type this, I know that I still have e-mails to return, comments to reply to and some loose ends to be tied, but there isn't such a sense of urgency. It's nice to feel that once in a while. I turn right around and leave for another short trip today, but this time it's a much more manageable plane ride to Vegas. Which remind me, if anybody wants to meet up, let me know. I won't have too much free time, but I may be able to sneak in a coffee at some point late Tuesday or early Wednesday.

Point is, sometimes we just need to unplug and recharge. This is especially important when I start to feel a little worn down physically. All of the coughing up blood certainly didn't help last week (proud to report that I haven't coughed up any since Friday) but I think I may be on the mends now. I'm just looking forward to getting through these next few days and taking the weekend to unwind again. I'm looking at a possible hospital stay in mid-February and the hope is that I can maintain my lung function and my overall health until I can get in there. Wish me luck, I'm sure it will all work out :)

Updates from the Couch Potato

I figured I'd give a little update about what crazy things we've been up to.

(Silence. Crickets.)

That's how eventful things have been around here, and it's been AWESOME! This last week has consisted of work, working out and watching TV.

The highlight for me has been our workouts. It's been really nice to be back in the gym consistently, and actually WANT to work out. I've found that the last few weeks I've actually been eager to wrap up my work day so I could go get a workout in. Even better, most days we've done cardio I haven't been eager to be done. I think my new energy for working out is two-fold: 1. It's different. We've been so focused on running for the last several months, and the change of pace (elliptical, stairs, treadmill) has been nice. I find that if I'm sick of working out, if I just switch it up a bit, it becomes fun again. 2. I want to get into great shape before we're pregnant. I (POSSIBLY, with a capital P-O-S-S-I-B-L-Y) only have another month or so before I'm pregnant, and I want to start off the pregnancy in good shape, so I can hopefully remain very active! Sitting on my bum for 10 months sounds like a recipe for boredom and a whole lot of jiggle, so my goal is to work out as hard/much as my doctor thinks is appropriate!

This weekend consisted of a lot more relaxation (for me). Ronnie was in Stony Brook, NY to speak at a CF Education Day (was anyone reading this blog there??) so his weekend was busy, but I just held down the fort. Friday night I had a friend come spend the night (slumber party, what what!) We went to a movie (No Strings Attached - Love Natalie Portman, but it was a little crude for my comfort...the sex scenes were just awkward and the cussing and crude jokes were unnecessary). We then just sat on the couch and talked until we fell asleep. I was really nice to catch up. Saturday was full of more nothingness. We went shopping in the AM - we actually went to hike a mountain near by, but it was so packed that you couldn't get parking, so we decided we'd just shop instead!) The best thing about the shopping trip was that I actually bought something (good for me, bad for the savings account). Typically I just window shop. I'll even go as far as trying something on, but then talk myself out of it by saying something like, "I don't need another pair of black shoes." But I bought a pair of gray Converse, and they're awesome! After the mall, I rode my bike to the gym and got in a solid workout. That was the last of my activity for the day. I sat on the couch from 4pm until the Sunday morning (I even slept there). It is glorious. I watched TV and played Scrabble online (against Ronnie while he was doing his treatments in his hotel room in NY). It felt really nice to just regenerate! Sunday consisted of church, a nap, and then I went and picked up Ronnie. Let me tell you - I sure missed him. Isn't that stupid? He was gone for only 2 days and I missed him! I was so excited on my way to the airport to pick him up. We headed for a nice little happy hour (because Ronnie only eats out when the food is 1/2 price) and came home to (you can guess it) watch more TV. I think the couch may have a permanent butt indent after this weekend.

It was an uneventful, relaxing weekend (for me...I think Ronnie's pretty wiped). One of those weekends you wish would happen more often! Leave us a little comment and let us know how your weekend went. Did you have a lazy weekend like mine? Or a busy one like Ronnie's? Did anyone get snowed in? (I kind of felt like I was, since I acted as if I couldn't leave the house!) Need help having a lazy weekend? I found this while searching for a picture for this blog. Really? There's an article about this?

PS - A quick IVF update: I start my stimulant med on Sunday (1/30) and will be on it for 8-12 days. Then it's time for Ronnie's biopsy, my egg retrieval and 5 days later, embryo transfer. Everything is moving along very smoothly and we'll post another update next week. Please keep the process in your prayers!

Daycare or No Daycare?

I wanted to share this blog with all of you from Jen over at http://groettumfamily.blogspot.com/. She does a great job explaining her position on a much talked about issue that face CF families. Without further ado...

Why We Don’t Do Daycare (at other people’s houses)

** Before I even start, please remember that this is my blog, my opinions, my life choices…you may not agree with me all of the time (or ever!) but this is why we choose to keep Gavin home and not put him into a daycare. You may have a different opinion, and that’s all good, but like I said…this is my territory :)

So here we go, in no particular order…

First, we live in the frozen tundra.

If you were to look outside this morning, you too wouldn’t want to leave the house. We had gotten more snow overnight, and the wind was blowing like crazy…not exactly a comfortable atmosphere to hang out in. As much as we like to be outside year round, Mother Nature keeps us inside the majority of the winter season (winter here is often 5 months long) which means that our gross, sickly winter germs are contained in our homes/offices etc, making it much easier to get sick. And honestly, if you don’t live in a state where you have difficult winters? You just don’t get it…not trying to sound rude, but it’s the truth.

As much as I clean & sanitize, I can’t clean everything or everyone so obviously we’re going to get sick…but kids are walking Petri dishes, they pick their noses and immediately walk up to you and give you a high five. Yes, Gavin still gets tons of interaction with other kids. Our neighbors come over and play, we head to the mall play area, local indoor playgrounds, the grocery store play room, the jump house etc (and no I don’t walk around with hand sanitizer he plays just like any other kid)…but if I know that there is a major virus moving around town? We stick around the house.

Yes, I am opening a small daycare in our house. But that’s just it, it will be in my house. I know that when I say I clean I actually clean. I am constantly washing blankets/sheets/pillows and even his stuffed animals. I don’t have potted plants around the house (except for two very small ones in our kitchen window). I go through many of his toys once/twice a weak and wipe them down with disinfectant. I am in control of what illnesses/sicknesses I allow kids to have when they come into our house (minor colds/tummy aches etc are a-ok) and I have the control in sending kiddos home. I am able to be with Gavin through any extra treatment sessions he needs when he does get sick. To me there is a big difference in allowing your kids to be around some germs to build up an immune system, and sticking your child in a germ-filled daycare at 6 weeks of age.

I am at the age where nearly half (if not more) of my friends have toddlers/babies, and almost all of those kids are enrolled in daycare. I cannot even count how often those kids seem to be sick, and CF or no CF, that’s just not something I am willing to deal with. I also cannot count how many parents have talked with me, or visited our home, and discussed how disgusting some of the local daycares are, yech! In general, most home daycares are not clean enough to mystandards. And many friends have told me that they wish they could afford to stay home (ahem, you probably can if you aren’t a single parent making the only income, you just have to make a 180 change to your current lifestyle, but more about that later) whether their child has CF, another disease, or is completely “healthy.”

And honestly, after 2 or 3 kids many people need to step back and see if they are even coming out “ahead.” If you realize that after the cost of daycare you are barely making more money than if you stayed at home, then stay home! (if this doesn’t affect your health care). Your children are young ONCE, and if its the difference of a couple thousand dollars a year…skip that vacation, go out to eat monthly instead of weekly, stay away from the shopping mall, etc and enjoy your kids! They will never look back on their childhood and wish that you had spent more time at work.

Our CF team also informed us that keeping a child out of daycare, and healthier for the first three years of life (if that is possible for a family) has proven that the kids often “do better" health wise for longer, obviously this is not true for every child but it really does make sense to me. This is not saying that children who are placed in daycare will not do well, it is just saying that statistically, those that aren’t tend to be sick less & hospitalized less.

Secondly, is the fact that children learn more in their first two years of life than they will in their entire lifetime.

Gavin is about three weeks away from turning two and he can:

• recognize nearly 1/2 of the letters in the alphabet
• count to ten (and sometimes beyond) like it’s nobody’s business
• speak rather “fluently” – I have had several people tell me that they didn’t believe he could actually speak as well I say he can, until they saw it in person
• knows all of his colors and shapes
• has an insane memory for his age
• is extremely polite, he is constantly saying please, thank you and you’re welcome without being prompted to do so (if he doesn’t say please, he doesn’t get it!)

I 100% believe that he has achieved all of this so early because of the one-on-one attention he has received from day one. And not just from me, but from the family members/friends he is surrounded by. We read books for hours (seriously) every day, he has discovered that all of those letters at the bottom of the page make up the words to the story I am reading. We rarely watch crazy tv shows for kids, if we have the tv on we stick to PBS. Shows like “Super Why” and “Sesame Street” have gotten Gavin extremely excited about learning and he thinks he’s pretty cool when he answers questions that are far beyond his (almost) two years. All of this has made me realize that once I get this small daycare of mine up and running, that we will spend a major chunk of our day “learning” and not plopping them in front of the tv/just letting them run crazy because I’m worn out. Embedding as much new knowledge as possible into their little minds while they still think “school is cool” and aren’t yet complaining about that daily routine :)

Thirdly, we are willing to make sacrifices.

Sometimes pretty big sacrifices.

One income family means: no vacations, extremely rare fancy dinners/dates out on the town, never buying items that aren’t on sale, making what you have work rather than running out and buying new, making that dollar stretch as far as possible…and being ok with living that way. To us, being able to personally witness each of Gavin’s early accomplishments was far more important than having the nicest house, the most toys…the fancier lifestyle. Sure, having a large house would be nice…but we’re ok with being cozy. Sure, a vacation away from the snow would be nice…but for now we better enjoy snowshoeing and skiing, because the beach isn’t happening anytime soon.

I have also been doing tons of research on couponing. I do not plan on become a crazy coupon lady, but I have spent several days on different websites reading about other SAHM (stay at home mom) techniques. The biggest mind changer for me? Hearing a lady simply say, “A coupon is freemoney.” And I am not just talking about grocery store coupons. But also coupons for restaurants, theme parks, weekend adventures etc. Saving money, buying second hand, and recreating new items from old ones, are just some of the reasons we can “afford” for me to stay home during the day. On a different day I’ll share some of my newly learned “tips.”

In all, our choice to keep Gavin out of daycare goes far beyond him having CF and goes beyond any other “health reasons.” No, we are not the crazy parents walking around with hand sanitizer and pulling him away from every child that has a runny nose…if anything we’re too relaxed about his “interactions” with germs. Yes, Gavin’s CF made our final decision that much clearer. Yes, I choose to say that Gavin “cannot” be in daycare, because in my opinion? In order for him to continue to succeed (and again, not just talking about his health) at the rate he has? Daycare at someone else’s house is.not.an.option.

Lastly, until you have children of your own you have absolutely no right in judging another parents decision to place their child in daycare or to keep them home. Sure, you can have an opinion, but trust me…it’s better to keep it to yourself until you also have your own :) It is very easy to have “all the answers” of parenthood, until you hold that baby of your own for the first time.

Stony Brook Family Education Day

Cystic Fibrosis Education Days are a great opportunity for families to learn more about the advances and treatment of cystic fibrosis. On Saturday, the CF center of Stony Brook will be hosting this great event and I'm fortunate enough to be speaking at it. If you are anywhere near this center, I highly encourage you to check it out and please come up and say "hi".

I don't have too much information besides that. I just show up and they tell me what to do :)

Hope to see you guys there!!

Thankful Thursday - Support the Freezers?

We can't stress enough how important it is in our own lives to slow down when things seem to be getting "fast" and just think about the little things that we're thankful for. We had 3 brave souls join us last week in expressing their thankfulness last week and we're hoping that more climb on board today! I have a little "Linky Tools" at the end of this post that you can use to join the party and link up your thankfulness post! Feel free to spread this around to anyone you know that may like to participate.

Mandi's List:

I'm thankful for freezers. This may sound like a weird thing to be thankful for, but let me tell you what, our freezer saves us a TON of money. I can't imagine if we had to buy and eat everything fresh! We'd have food going bad all the time. It also makes dinner time easy when you can just pull out some frozen veggies, frozen chicken and vwalla!

I'm thankful for the TVs at our gym. We have been really good at getting in 30-60 minutes of cardio every time we go to the gym and a big part of that is because the time flies by since we're able to just watch tv shows. It's hard to say, "Naa, I'm done" when you're doing exactly what you'd be doing at home, only getting a work out in at the same time.

I'm thankful for email. My family constantly has emails flying back and forth with pictures from the day, forwarding on updates from work, filling each other in on happenings. It makes me feel like my family is really close, even with my parents far away. It's a nice, quick and easy way to stay plugged into each other's lives.

I'm thankful for friends who have been there/are there! I have been chatting with several ladies on CysticLife, Facebook and the phone who are all going through the IVF process right now, or have recently gone through it, and man am I thankful. It is so nice to chat with others about their experience, hear what to expect, and have someone who can relate to what you're experiencing. It's very awesome to have people to chat with!

Ronnie's List:

I'm thankful that although I've had some coughing up blood issues over the past couple of days, my PFTs haven't taken that much of a hit and I may be turning the corner. I'm not sure what brought on the sudden case of hemoptysis since I have been feeling great these past few weeks, but I'm just thankful that it wasn't worse. It can always be a little touch and go during times like this- I'm definitely going however!

I'm thankful for my upcoming opportunity to speak to the awesome folks at the Stony Brook CF clinic in Long Island, NY on Saturday. I was invited to speak at their CF education day and I'm always thrilled to be a part of these types of events. They fill a much needed knowledge and social gap in the community that I'm just honored to be a part of. If you're anywhere near Long Island, I'd love to see you there on Saturday!!

I'm thankful for a CF team that trusts me. Although I'm coughing up blood and my PFTs dipped a bit, they trusted me enough to make the call whether or not I needed a tune-up. I'm confident that this little set back was just a minor blip in the road and I'll be back on my game in no time. I of course promised them to keep up my four treatments a day, continue with additional airway clearance through exercise and hop on Cayston ASAP (which I'll be thankful for if it arrives tomorrow). It's so comforting to have trust amongst myself and the team, but I have a feeling it stems from two things: They know I love feeling good and they know I'll do anything to feel good.

I'm thankful for support. I feel support all around us coming from it feels like 1000 different places and people. We have great families, first and foremost, but we also have amazing friends and an amazing community behind us. Throughout this whole IVF process, we've been able to connect with others who have gone through (or are currently going through) similar situations on CysticLife. It's nice to be able to throw any and every question out to them and know it will be answered promptly, honestly and with eagerness to help.

San Francisco Scare

I've been meaning to post this video for quite some time now. It's from our trip to San Francisco last October for the CF Concert Series. Apparently this guy who uses a fake bush/tree to scare people is pretty well know (I had never heard of him), and after seeing it, I know why. Make sure you at least watch until 2 min and 35 seconds, it's literally a blood-curdling scream.

Freak Things Happen

So today Mandi and I were running around to doctors appointments, relaxing and, of course, observing MLK day the best that we could. Earlier in the day we had a fertility appointment to make sure that Mandi's eggs were still looking good and to go over how to give the shot that looks like a horse tranquilizer (I'm kidding, it's not that bad). We were also able to sit down with the doctor and go over some details about the whole process, which I'm sure we'll get into with you guys soon here on the blog. Just as a teaser though, stuff like how many eggs to fertilize, how many embryos to "put back" and what to do with the embryos we don't use at the moment. So as you can guess, it was quite the conversation, but we'll save it for another time.

Back to the part when we got back from the appointment. Wait a second, first let me set this up a bit. I've been feeling great. Mandi and I have been eating better. We've gotten back into the gym. We're getting back on track with exercise. I'm doing my treatments consistently and faithfully. I've noticed that my cough has decreased over the past couple weeks and my mucus has gotten lighter. All in all, no complaints, and I'm feeling pretty good. Now, I said all of that to say, today I coughed up blood, and a lot of it.

It was the weirdest thing. We pulled into our garage and just as I was getting out of the car, I felt it. It's a certain rattle that we get in our chest just before the blood comes up to play (you CFers know what I'm talking about). I walked out of the garage, coughed and spit. Sure enough. Bright. Red. Blood. I immediately made a dash for the bathroom sink because I didn't want to stain my rocks in the front yard! :) I coughed and coughed and coughed, each time bringing up the good stuff. There are different kind of coughing up blood episodes, those that just make your mucus a bit red and those that look like a murder scene. With each cough, blood splattered into the sink, and I'll I could do was hope that my aim was good. About 5 minutes and 1/2 cup of pure blood later, it stopped.

Ok, now what's the point? The point is, stuff happens. Stuff happens that we can't explain. Good stuff happens. Bad stuff happens. Life would certainly be a lot easier if we could explain everything, but it'd also be pretty boring. In this CF life, unexplained stuff can happen often. I think the key though is not what happens, but how we react. I didn't panic. I didn't get mad. I didn't stress out. Stuff happens. Stuff happens and we move on. Sure, I adjusted my treatment regiment today to try to prevent more blood, but other than that, I wake up tomorrow and I move on. I'll make sure to get four treatments in. I'll make sure to pay close attention to what my lungs are saying. I'll let my doctor know what's up on Wednesday when I have my (drug trial) appointment. Other than that, I do nothing different. I've been good lately about doing what I have to do to kick some CF booty. Faithful with my treatments. Faithful with exercise. Freaky stuff can still happen.

So I move on.

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

(Notice that this posted on your birthday :) )

The Secret to a Clean House: The 10-Minute Tidy

(Watch Video First)

Ok, I know there are a few things we're all thinking, so let's get them out of the way: 1) That grown woman pretending to be a giant baby is a little weird. 2) Who can do ANYTHING in 10 seconds? Unfortunately I can't fast forward through chores like that! 3) Why did you have that posted? I can never have those 37 seconds back!

My answers: 1) I agree! 2) No one can - I'll tell you how I've changed it for a real person to do. 3) I'm sorry, at least I didn't post a longer clip!

Well I wanted to share that video to talk about one of my all time favorite tricks that my parents did with us kids, and how it still works to this day. When we were kids (even through high school) my mom or dad (normally my dad) would say, "the house is a mess, let's help mom by all of us picking up for 10 minutes." They would set the timer on the over and we would all take off in different directions running through the house to see how much we could get done during the 10-Minute Tidy. And let me tell you, 4 people can get A LOT done in only 10 minutes (especially if you're running...which of course, being competitors, we did). Now, I will say, maybe it helped that my mom is a neat freak. So the house never got dirty, things would just get out of order - you know, shoes here, a sweatshirt there, toys on the floor, books on the table. But at the end of 10 minutes, the house was back in tip top shape.

To this day, I love a good 10-Minute Tidy, and Ronnie's nice enough to play along! I'm naturally lazy when it comes to cleaning. I can think of a million ways I'd rather spend my time. But 10 minutes is easy to mentally commit to, so it gets me started, and once we're on a roll, we'll usually continue to clean from another 10-20 minutes to complete the job. And man, at the end of those 10-30 minutes, the house looks so much better. We do a 10-Minute Tidy 2-3 nights a week, and it keeps the house from getting very messy.

Here's what we do:

Whole House -

Pick up/put away stuff out (7 minutes)

Swiffer tile/wood floors (3 minutes)

Kitchen -

Clean Dishes (empty/load dishwasher) (3 minutes)

Soft scrub counter tops (2 minutes)

Family Room -

Straighten pillows on sofa (we have a lot of pillows) (1 minute)

Put away remotes (30 seconds)

Bedroom -

Put away shoes/clothes (3 minutes)

Clear night stands (30 seconds)

TOTAL TIME: 20 Minutes (10 minutes per person)

If we get caught up and want to really get the house looking good:

Whole House -

Vacuum (10 minutes)

(Quick) Dust (10 minutes)

TOTAL (extra) TIME: 20 Minutes (10 minutes per person)

Give it a shot! We just did one yesterday, and man the house looks good :)

PS - Pass along any and all cleaning tips you have. I'm still a cleaning newbie (since this is my first home and the first time if I don't clean it, no one will). And, well, let's just say I'm really good at surface cleaning, but the deep cleaning (the kind that actually matters) I need some lessons!